


Forget Me Not (Kylo Ren x FemOC!Reader)

by AzWritingNonsense



Series: Forget Me Series [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Athena can give him a hug, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Kylo Ren Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2020-11-25 19:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20917133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzWritingNonsense/pseuds/AzWritingNonsense
Summary: The Resistance has barely escaped the death sentence from the First Order, but they now prepare for the inevitable strike back. With General Organa mourning the loss of her brother, she sends two of her best fighters, Athena Stryker and Poe Dameron, to retrieve vital intel that would ensure the Resistance's survival. While on the mission, Athena comes face to mask with the enemy, the horrendous Kylo Ren. The monster who seems to hold vital information to Athena's past. (Takes place in-between The Last Jedi and Rise of Skywalker).





	1. Everything We Need

The remaining members of the Resistance huddled in the Mine on the salt planet, Crait, dejected. The battering ram cannon had already burnt through the large door and no one was coming to their aid, the Resistance would perish today. General Leia Organa slumped down onto the stack of boxes, “We fought till the end . But the galaxy has lost all its hope. The spark is out.” She dug her cane into the gritty ground below, defeat evident in her disheartened voice. The few Resistance members that surrounded her, looked around at each other and the others awaiting the ill-fated incoming attack from the First Order’s Stormtroopers, _this was it._ Leia’s eyes suddenly fluttered up, sensing something or someone. She turned her head to her left, seeing a shadowy hooded figure emerging from one of the many brightly lit tunnels. The figure continued forward, silently, until he stopped before Leia. The man slowly removed his hood, revealing his aged face and short gray beard, “Luke”, Leia breathed out in astonishment and relief. Her twin brother sat down in front of her, mouth opening to deliver his deepest apologies, but the General cut him off. “I know what you’re gonna say. I changed my hair.” The Jedi rolled his eyes at his sister’s ill-timed antics. “It’s nice that way.” He paused for a moment, inhaling sharply, “Leia, I’m sorry.” Leia nodded softly, “I know. I know you are. I’m just glad you’re here… in the end.” Luke turned serious, his green eyes hardening, “I came to face him, Leia. And **I** can’t save him.” A grim expression fell onto Leia’s face, the man terrorizing them was the “_Jedi Killer_”, Kylo Ren. “I held out hope for so long, but I know my son is gone.” A small frown formed on her lips, but Luke simply gave her a look. “No one’s ever really gone.” A small laugh escaped the General’s frown, “Yeah thanks for telling me by the way.” Her head nodded to her right, out the broken command center windows, towards the group gathered by the melted door. Luke stood confused, eyes casting a search out into the small crowd of Resistance fighters, hiding behind boxes of supplies and old transports. A young brunette woman crouched besides an olive toned man with black hair, caught the former Jedi’s eyes. Her hair was secured up in a bun of braided hair, small droplets of salt woven into it. A large faded pink scar covered a decent portion of the right side of her neck. That was the only thing Luke needed to see before he turned back to Leia exasperated. “How-?” was all he could muster, green eyes wide. Leia only smirked at her unexpecting brother, “She’ll always find her way back home, Luke. Regardless of…” The General trailed off, discreetly tapping her temple. Luke shook his head in disbelief, after all he had done to prevent this very thing and yet she still found her way back and with disturbingly close proximity to the enemy. “You know if we sent her out, **he**’d probably stop all of this.” Leia added. Luke shook his head immediately, this was not the endgame of Chess, they could not sacrifice “The Queen” in hopes to win. Not when **he** was so consumed by rage and would only endanger the young woman. Luke placed his hand over Leia’s, dropping the gold dice from the Millenium Falcon, from Han, into her open palm. A flash of realization washes over her facial features, as Leia looked to her brother in surprise. Luke remained silent only moving to cup Leia’s face as he bent down to kiss her forehead, before he turned to face his fate.**  
**

Resistance fighters throughout the Mine rose from their crouched down positions, eyes following the figure walking towards the hole, the First Order battered into the shield door. Poe stood in disbelief, gaping at the legendary Pilot before him. Luke paused at the door, which was still surrounded by flickering red flames, and turned to look at something besides Poe. He pivoted slightly to see his longtime friend, Athena, staring straight back at Luke. The former Jedi Master nodded once to her, before heading out to face the First Order. Poe looked back at his friend, when Skywalker was out of sight, her face contorting as she mentally tried to solve a puzzle with too many pieces missing. “I think I knew him.”

Kylo Ren emerged from the ship, clad in all black, making the man look like only the silhouette of a monster. The newly self-appointed Supreme Leader was shaking to his core, pure and raw fury filled his being as he stalked out of the command shuttle. From inside the safety of the bunker, Poe watched the scene unfold behind a pair of binoculars. “It’s Kylo Ren, Luke’s facing him alone.” Finn quickly chirped up from beside him, “Well, we should help him. Let’s go.” The former Stormtrooper moved to walk in between Athena and Poe, but a white sleeved arm shot out to halt his advancements. “No, wait. Wait” Athena reiterated, Poe and her sharing a skeptical look, before returning their eyes to observe the scene about to unfold before them. “Did you come back to say you forgive me? To save my soul?” The words dripped out sarcastically and menacingly from the Supreme Leader. His uncle lifted his eyebrows, “No”. Kylo Ren shrugged off his cloak and ignited his crackling red lightsaber. Luke ignited his blue lightsaber in return and the two readied themselves for the inevitable fight. “He’s doing this for a reason” Poe muttered lowly, his finger gently gesturing to the spectacle outside. Athena, who still was loosely holding back Finn, raised her eyebrows a realization popping in her mind. “He’s stalling so we can escape” She exclaimed, perhaps that is why he nodded at her. “Skywalker’s doing this so we can survive. There’s gotta be a way out of this mine. Hell, how did he get in here?” The small group of survivors begin to follow a remaining Crystal Critter, in hopes of leading them all to an alternative exit. Athena stalled behind the group, glancing out to the fighting force users, something oddly familiar about them both. Flashes of flames and quick movements of blue and purple light danced behind her eyes. “Athena let’s go!” Poe shouted back at her, reluctantly she turned and raced after the group, Leia monitoring the perplexed expression on the girl as her beaken on her wrist began to illuminate. Rey was close… Kylo continued to strike at Luke, who easily dodged his advances. “How do you think **she** would feel about all of this Ben?” The man in black, growled at his words quickly swiping at his uncle. “Doesn’t matter, **she’s** dead because of you!” His words were harsh and accusatory, but his brown eyes were brimming with sadness and vulnerability, Luke had touched a nerve. Luke shook his head slightly, “No, that was all you. But I did fail you, Ben. I’m sorry.” The two now stood in front of each other, at a distance. “I’m sure you are! The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi” Kylo spit out, anger overflowing. The Resistance members came to the end of the tunnel, the Crystal Critter escaping through a tiny hole amongst a massive pile of rocks. “No! NO!” Poe shouted scrambling up the rocks, they were trapped. “Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.” The rocks began to move, bright white light streaming into the tunnel. Athena, Poe, and Finn stammered out of the cave first, seeing Rey with her hand outstretched the rocks floating in midair. Finn runs up to Rey, the rocks dropping down to the sides, creating a clear path to the Falcon. The two engulf each other into a tight embrace, glad to know the other was safe. “Hey love birds, let’s get out of here first, then we can do that!” Athena laughed approaching with Poe. The two broke apart and Rey laughed slightly turning to look at the girl, her laugh catching her throat at the sight. The girl had bright blue eyes, freckled cheeks, and large pink scar tissue on her neck, Rey had seen this girl before. Leia caught the look on the young Jedi’s face, flustered at the sight of Athena.

Kylo Ren led a swarm of Stormtroopers into the now empty Mine. He turned and entered the main command center, bending down carefully to retrieve the gold dice lying on the ground. His head snapped up suddenly, feeling the force connect him once again to Rey. The remaining Resistance fighters boarded the Falcon, Rey ushering them all in as she stood at the entrance ramp. She looked down to see Kylo kneeling below, her eyes hardened as they silently stared at each other. Kylo saw a flash of familiar blue eyes in Rey’s mind before she slammed the button, closing the ramp and their connection. The Millenium Falcon took off into space as the group rejoiced in their escape and reuniting with friends. Rey bent down to greet BB-8, while Poe and Athena watched her from the side. The two walked up to greet their savior, “Hi.” “Hi” Rey smiled standing back up straight. “I’m Poe” “Rey” the two shook hands briefly before her eyes fell back on Athena. “Athena” the girl with the scar smiled, outstretching her hand as well. Rey graciously took it, but still looked at the girl confused. How was this possible? From what she had seen it was not.

Rey sat down on a crate, holding Luke’s split lightsaber. She could feel he was gone, but she felt he had not left with pain, but with peace and purpose. Leia placed her hand gently on Rey’s shoulder as she sat down beside her. “How do we build a Rebellion from this?” She looked down to the destroyed lightsaber, that resembled how she felt, split in two. Leia’s hand softly was placed over hers, “We have everything we need.” Leia discreetly looked to Athena, standing and laughing with Poe and other members. Rey followed her gaze behind her, to the girl who so very much puzzled her. “I’ve seen her before in-” Rey’s confession was cut short by the General whispering, “In **his **mind.” Rey nodded, surprised she knew her next words. “Yeah I would imagine you would.” Leia sighed, looking to the unassuming Athena. “He thinks she’s…” Rey trailed off envisioning the large flames she had seen through the force, listening to Leia’s heavy sigh. “They both can never know the truth, Rey. Not while this war rages on.”

##  Two Months Later

Athena was squatted down, cautiously maneuvering around in the tall blades of grass. Her blaster was cradled tightly in between her hands, index finger hovering above the trigger. She silently moved around, the grass barely moving, as her face was hardened in determination. An image of black fabric, brushing against blades of grass up ahead, burst into her mind. Athena smirked to herself, tiptoeing forward. A black jacket and black hair wordlessly backed into frame, Athena quickly pouncing forward and wrapping her hand around their mouth, dragging them back down into her. The person shocked sounds were muffled against her palm as the tiniest sound of grass rubbing together had her whipping around, person still pinned against her chest. Athena pointed her blaster at the wide eyed person who attempted to sneak up behind her, “Gotcha” she grinned. The person quickly held up his hands in resignation. She removed her hand and arm from her prisoner, the man groaning loudly. “How do you catch us every time?” Poe demanded turning to face the girl, Finn laughing in the background. Athena only shrugged holstering her blaster back onto her hip. “It’s like you can see the future or something!” Athena shoved Poe laughing as the three turned back, exiting the tall grass and onto the landing strip of the new Resistance base. New recruits jogged past them, sweat making their uniforms discolored. “I’m serious Athena, how can you find us every time?” Poe interrogated. “I don’t know, maybe you’re just too predictable.” Poe gasped mockingly hurt at Athena’s teasing words. The setting sun illuminated a golden C-3PO who shuffled over to the motley crew, “Mr. Dameron and Miss Stryker, the General is looking for you.” Poe and Athena turned to each other questioningly, wondering what they both were needed for. Departing from Finn, the two entered the main building, jogging down the steps and into the Command Center. The General was going over information on a data pad with Lieutenant Connix. “General, you wanted to see us?” Poe questioned leaning against a surrounding table. Leia looked up at the two, some of the best Resistance Fighters in her opinion, and quickly dismissed the Lieutenant and turned her full attention to them. Athena smiled at the woman, who had become like another mother to her since she had recruited her over 9 years ago.

_Athena was 19 and bustling with desire to join the Resistance as the First Order rose from the ashes of the Empire to threaten more of the galaxy in the last year. The General had come to Hosnian Prime to discuss urgent matters with members of the Republic, that had included Athena’s parents. Athena had been carelessly wandering around the palace, waiting for the end of the conference, when she had accidentally bumped into the General. “I’m so very sorry ma’am!” Athena had rushed out steadying the woman before her. “Oh it’s alright dea-” The General had looked up at the taller girl, her words dying in her mouth. The General was quiet as she took in the girl before her. She wore dark terracotta colored pants, a white blouse with a long trail, a purple crystal necklace hanging from her neck, and white boots. Her brown waves were loosely spilling over her shoulders, attempting to hide a pink scar on her neck, blue eyes bright and young. “Oh Leia, it seems you’ve met our daughter, Athena.” Senator Stryker spoke up, coming from behind the two. Leia snapped out of her shock and turned to face the Senator. “Your daughter?” Leia was dumbfounded, it was not possible. “Yes, well adoptive” Mrs. Stryker spoke up, arm intertwined with her husbands. Leia turned back to Athena, smiling awkwardly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” _

Ever since that day, Athena had never left the General’s side, working closely with her and the Resistance, even when the First Order destroyed Hosnian Prime, her adoptive parents with it. The event had devastated the young girl, but she still had, had a mission to attend to, the destruction of StarKiller Base. Athena had become close to Poe too, the two meeting back in the early days of their training, and becoming good friends and getting into their own little spurts of trouble. “Yes you two are heading back out on a sensitive mission.” The General informed, both of them relieved to be going back into action and finally getting off of desk duty. “What’s the mission?” “You two are being sent to a small planet on the outer rim of the galaxy, it’s known heavily for its allegiance to the First Order so-” Poe cut the General off with a snide remark, “Let me guess we’re going to have to act like a bunch of First Order sympathizers.” Leia only rolled her eyes and ignored him returning to her plan. “There you two will need to try and go undetected and locate an old Rebellion fighter, who claims to have information on the First Order’s new plans.” Athena and Poe nodded stiffly, this mission could either go two ways. “You two will leave at the first sign of daylight.” The General dismissed the two and they walked slowly down the far right corridor to their rooms. “So do you think it will be dangerous and daring?” Poe quipped. “You’ll be there so we’re bound to find some trouble” Athena smirked, her hand mindlessly going up to trace her faded scar, a constant reminder of her missing life. “You think you’re real funny don’t ya?” Poe taunted as the two reached their rooms, directly across from each other. “Goodnight Poe.” Athena simply answered before stepping into her small dimly lit room. The door slid down behind her as Athena examined the sparse concrete room consisting of: a small dresser stocked with clothes, a small table with a few belongings, and a small bunk. Most members of the Resistance were bunked up with other people, but under certain circumstances Athena was allowed to always be alone. The young woman quickly changed out of her attire and into a faded ivory nightgown and clambered into the small bed, pulling the blue fleece blanket over her. Athena leaned over to turn off the small table lamp and shuffled down into the bed, a restless sleep falling quickly over the girl.

_Athena awakened to the smell of smoke and shot up in her small cot. She glanced to the door, hearing the sound of crumbling wood. Quickly she jumped up and rushed outside, her lungs filling with smoke instantly. The temple ahead was engulfed in red and orange flames, screams coming from inside. A dark figure stood in the field, surrounded by bodies lying limp in the grass, “What are you doing? We need to help them!” She screamed at the person, running to aid the burning people. Athena was suddenly yanked back by a pair of long arms, “No Athena, I can’t lose you too!” A male voice shouted from behind her. She cannot see who he was, but she begs and pleads for him to help the dying souls. She eventually shimmied out of his tight grip and ran inside the temple, the smoke and bright flames overwhelming. She heard the unknown man shout her name from outside, before suddenly a large creaking was heard. Athena looked up to the noise as the roof came tumbling down onto her._

“Ath wake up! Wake up!” Someone shook her body roughly when Athena suddenly woke, jolting upwards in bed. She examined her small room, eyes wide with tears, eventually landing on a concerned looking Poe, eyes still heavy with sleep. “You were screaming again.” He frowned quietly. Athena sat quietly for a moment, trembling as she fought back her tears. Her heart was racing and her head pounded,_ why did she keep having this dream?_ “I’m okay just the nightmare again” Athena whispered hoarsely, eyes looking down at her death grip on the sheets, embarrassment flooding through her. “It’s okay, just breathe” Poe comforted, smoothing down her wild hair. “I’m sorry Poe, go back to bed.” She finally looked up to her friend again, trying to smile convincingly. She was not positive if he truly bought it or if sleep was calling him back to his own room, but Poe stumbled back towards the door, it shooting upwards to reveal the quiet hallway. He moved to leave, but hesitated, turning back to face the shaking girl. “Do you ever remember anything?” The question floated thickly in the quiet night air, a tear escaping down Athena’s face. “No, I only know what the man told me.” Poe nodded solemnly before leaving, the door closing in his absence. A gutted sound left Athena’s parted lips as she fell back onto her pillow, hot tears rolling down her face. The first memory Athena had was when she was 18, covered in black tar and reeking of smoke, and waking up on a cold steel bench.

_She was on the outskirts of a gleaming city, the early morning sunrise casting a golden hue along the towering buildings. Before her, squatting down to her eye level was an older man with his sandy colored hair, gray strands peppering through that and his short beard. Green eyes were intensely watching hers. Panic had began to rise in her, her mind empty, not a single memory or sense of identity within. She could not even remember her name. Thick tears began to roll down her ash covered cheeks, “Who am I?” She choked out to the man. He let out a small sigh, almost in relief of something, “Your name is Athena. You will be safe here I promise.” The man stood to leave, a ship waiting just behind him. “No,” She reached forward and caught his cloak with her blackened fingers, “Please don’t leave me”. He refused to turn and face her, simply yanking the cloak from her hands, “This is the only way” he whispered and stalked away. Athena was left on the bench sobbing for hours, trying to bury herself in her white cloak and hood. The sun was at the high point of mid morning, when an olive skinned woman dressed in a rosy dress, detailed in rich gold colored vines, approached the distraught girl. She had bent down before her, gently wiping away the wet black tears from her face, “What’s your name sweetie?” “Athena.” The woman smiled softly, “Do you have anywhere to go?” Athena shook her head more tears spilling out, “I don’t remember.” The woman’s eyebrows raised in surprise at that before gesturing for the girl to stand with her. “Come with me darling, everything will be okay. My name is Yuiera. Yueira Stryker.”_


	2. Sympathizers

_“No Athena, I can’t lose you too!”_ Athena’s eyes flew open and quickly scanned the dark room for the source of the baritone voice that haunted her dreams. Her room was empty, no one possibly being able to utter the words. The small clock perched on her bedside table indicated it was the early hours of the morning, but there was no use in trying to fall asleep… not for such a short period of time. Athena’s eyes held onto the concrete ceiling, hoping to find a place of peace and comfort, but the girl had begun to doubt that such a thing existed for her anymore. She could not find the words to chronicle the distress of not knowing anything about herself. Athena did not know her birthday, where she had received the large scar on her neck from, who her birth parents were, what they had been like, what her real last name was, if Athena was even her real name. She had lost 18 years of memories, Stars, she was not even positive how old she was, the medical droids estimated her to be around the age of 18 when found 11 years ago. Athena had no sense of identity, no true persona, no nothing, except a lousy nightmare that she was not even positive had occurred. The only indication of the possibility of it happening, was that she reeked of fire and was covered in black smoke when she came to, that morning on the bench outside of Hosnian Prime. Now with Hosnian Prime being destroyed by Starkiller base, her adoptive parents perishing with, Athena only had the Resistance. The girl slid out of bed quietly, the hole in her chest tightening from her disheartened thoughts. A piece of her always felt as if it was missing, just out of arm's reach.

“Look at you, you look like a real First Order sympathizer!” Poe joked approaching Athena on the takeoff platform. The scarred girl was a silhouette of black, a red high neck sweater peeking out from beneath her black jacket, along with her purple crystal necklace she adorned everyday. Poe knew it was the only item she had from her former unknown life, besides the massive burn tissue on the right side of her neck. Athena tore her attention away from the rising bright orange sun, warm vibrant shades painted across the sky. A soft shade of light purple still hanging onto the lower clouds as any traces of night began to fade away, the lovely shade making the girl faintly smile to herself. Athena looked down to her approaching friend, dressed in everything black besides the faded white shirt underneath his jacket. “You could possibly pass for one too” she shrugged, Poe narrowing his eyes in response. “Thanks.” The wind picked up as the two headed towards one of the unmarked and untagged Resistance ships, their best chance of traveling undetected. The General greeted them at the ship, coming to see them off. “I also want to remind you that you will need to be extremely cautious. The First Order is relentless and will not express any sympathy to you two. So please I beg you both, be smart and careful and come home.” The two fighters before her nodded vigorously, stoic expressions on each of their faces. Leia and Poe hugged briefly before the woman turned to Athena. Poe cleared his throat, excusing himself to check over flight plans and to double check the ship, giving the two women a moment alone. Everyone knew there was a special bond between Athena and the General, but no one truly understood why, not even Athena. The General would never admit as to the reason why, but she held the girl close in her heart. The two embraced tightly, resting their heads upon each other’s shoulders. Leia sighed heavily, a strong feeling overcoming her in the force: a warning, a sign of the times. “Just be careful” she whispered pulling back to observe Athena, who nodded in response, her crystal necklace catching the early morning sun. Leia’s nimble fingers quickly plucked up the necklace, earning a questioning glance from Athena, and dropped it down the high neckline of her red sweater concealing it. Leia gently tugged the collar of the sweater higher and moved her loose brown waves over her shoulder, hiding her scar as well. “Don’t want anything to distinguish you.” She smiled softly before dismissing Athena. The General watched as she climbed into the back seat of the ship, Poe already positioned in the pilot seat, nerves making her heart race. Leia had a feeling something was about to occur, a show was about to begin.

Landing down in a thick coverage of trees and moss on the outskirts of the First Order sympathizing planet, Athena and Poe were greeted by a heavy downpour of cold rain. _The First Order and their cold planets…_ Wiping the rain that slid off her hood and down onto her face, Athena looked to an already shivering and soaking wet Poe, “So where do we find these plans?” “A man named Nor Del, who lives on the other side of the village, in the forest” Poe stated, pushing his dripping hair from his eyes. “Ok well let’s go, try and get out of this freezing rain while we’re at it too.” Trudging through the cold brisk air and muddy remnants of snow, the two lingered on the edge of the village, still concealed by the towering trees. Athena tugged her hood tighter around her face, trying to hide from the cold and ignore the feeling inside her. She felt an unusual sensation, like a tether being pulled inside her, a feeling that had her looking over shoulder every so often. This pulling tether attempted to inform her of a presence nearby, but there was no sign of anyone behind them following. Athena tried to ignore it, knowing if she was not 100 percent focused on the mission at hand it could go sideways, but a cold sweat gathered at the back of her neck making her surrounding loose hair and clothing feel suffocating.

A run down log cabin emerged from the dense tree and rain coverage, positioned just far enough from the village. Poe climbed up the creaking dark wood stairs, while Athena surveyed their surroundings, _something did not feel right._ Poe banged on the door as Athena walked up besides him, “Something doesn’t seem right, Poe,'' she whispered. Poe simply nodded and before he could say anything, he was cut off by the front door creaking open. A gray haired man with many healed scars littering his sagging face, poked his head out of the cabin’s threshold. “Who are you?” he barked, voice rough and eyes menacing. “Friends of a friend of a friend.” Poe smirked leaning in a little as he recicitated the Resistance’s code, the man grinning slightly at his words. “Nor Del.” He shook each of their hands and opened the door wider, “Come in.” The cabin was small inside, everything located in the wide open room. The stiff smell of burning sage greeted them as well, the smoke emitting from a small stone black bowl, on a mat in the middle of the room. A fresh pot of tea, steam billowing out of it’s spicket was positioned carefully next to the sage. “You two are the Resistance fighters?” Nor confirmed in the safety of his dwelling. Poe nodded for them as Athena continued to watch the odd Rebellion pilot man before her, Poe was always the talker. She was merely support, backup, and perhaps another pretty face to help negotiations along. Athena recalled the time her and Poe went undercover in an illegal underground casino, where the two had infiltrated the weapons distribution table. Poe’s curious questions had started to become too much for the head boss, but luckily Athena was able to distract him, her high slit dress had done the trick for the filthy rich man perhaps a little too well… Her hand was broken for over a month after that right hook. Nor bent down and retrieved a black harddrive from beneath the burnt sage, “This holds important information, a necessity if the Resistance is to truly survive and bring an end to the First Order.” Nor handed the hardware to Poe as he asked, “How did you retrieve these plans?” Nor Del is quiet for a moment, a flicker of something behind his eyes, before he told Poe of the people he knew aiding on the inside. His answer wavered a little, differentiating from his previous collected monotone words, as if it was not a part of his rehearsed lines. Athena’s eyes widened as a flash of an image appeared in her mind, white masks and uniforms marching through the thick tree coverage._ It was a trap!_ She quickly pushed Poe back and grabbed the loose fabric of Nor Del’s black tunic, hoisting him close, shocking both men. “Why? Why did you set us up?” She spat out angrily between her gritted teeth. “Athena?” Poe questioned, confusion etched onto his olive toned face. “The plans are a fake, it was just a way to lure us here, to one of the most heavily guarded First Order planets.” Nor Del only smirked at the intelligent girl’s realization, Poe’s eyes widening as he chucked the useless hard drive to the wooden floor. Athena jostled the man again, “Why did you set us up?” Nor only sighed, a slight sense of humor written on his face, “The First Order carries a big stick.” The beat of rhythmic marching began to grow outside, echoing loudly through the cabin, Athena dropping the man as the steps drew louder. “We need to go, like now!” Both eyed the small window on the back wall of the cabin, Poe racing forward and breaking the glass with the end of his blaster. He helped Athena jump out first, quickly following after and into the wet forest, their boots sloshing through puddles of cold mud.

“They are escaping through the forest!” A muffled Stormtrooper voice shouted, making Athena and Poe push faster and further into the woods. Red beams of light whizzed past them, the Stormtroopers attempting to slow them down. “Anytime Dameron!” Athena shouted, dodging a blast on her left. “I’m working on it, Stryker!” Poe groaned diving behind a large tree to shoot back at the incoming enemy. _They could do this, they had escaped the grasp of the First Order countless times before, this was just another tally to add to their list._ Athena raced ahead of Poe, a sudden scream ripping through her lips as she dropped onto the ground. A burning sensation originating from her torso had the girl crawling to move behind a tree. Poe halted his assault immediately and dove over to Athena’s tree up ahead. The Stormtroopers continued to fire, Poe shooting the couple down and finally turning to face the discomfort filled face of Athena. She was propped up against the rough bark, hand clutching her side tightly. “What happened?” Poe exclaimed, lifting her black jacket to reveal her red sweater turning a darker shade above her right hip. _It was not bad, **yet.**_ “Athena come on, we got to go.” She shook her head frantically, eyes squeezing shut at the movement that shook her whole body. “No you gotta leave me.” Poe ignored her, moving to lift her left arm over his shoulder, “Like stars I am!” The sound of more incoming Troopers had Athena protesting in Poe’s arms. “Poe you have to go, I’ll only slow you down.” Poe shook his head furiously, angered by their position and the betrayal of the former rebellion pilot. “I’m closing in on them!” A stormtrooper shouted from somewhere behind them. “Go, Poe!” Athena moved her hand across Poe’s head, before pushing him roughly. A disgruntled sigh of defeat escaped through Poe’s pursed lips, the pounding boots growing closer. He gently set her back down, resting her back against the tree bark, “I’ll come back for you”, Poe whispered before disappearing into the woods. Athena laid against the cold tree, hand pressed to her bleeding side, as five stormtroopers converged around her. “The other one must have abandoned her, us three will continue to search for him.” Instructed one of the masked troopers, as the other two hoisted Athena up on her knees, twisting her arms behind her back. “And her?” the one holding her right arm questioned. The Stormtrooper mandating orders bent down before Athena and she could almost sense the smirk plastered on his covered face. He nuzzled his blaster into her right side, Athena biting back a scream as a muffled sob escaped through her lips.“Bring her to him.”


	3. No Identity

Pain still burned throughout the right side of her abdomen as Athena was dragged through the mud, her knees and lower legs coated thickly in the cold brown sludge. She could feel the warm sticky fluid oozing down her side, surely leaving a trail of blood behind them as she was dragged back to the log cabin. Athena’s heavy head drooped down, looking at the wet ground down below, her whole body beginning to feel sluggish. She was losing too much blood, too quickly, but all she could focus on was the hope that Poe had gotten away. Athena could not focus on the fact that she may be about to die, either from whomever she was going to see or from her wound. She could not focus on the idea that her life would end meaninglessly but then again she had not had much meaning to begin with. A forgettable end to a forgettable girl. An odd crackling sound sliced through the quiet late morning air when Athena arrived at the cabin, but the girl did not dare to look up, dread filling her being instantly… deep down she knew exactly what the sound belonged to. The Stormtroopers halted in their movements, stopping Athena in front of a lifeless body lying on the ground below, Nor Del. A hole was burned straight through his sternum and other side of his body was a pair of large black boots, black robes snapping against them in the wind. The tip of the ignited crackling red lightsaber was beside the figure, inching closer to her lowered face, yet she still refused to look up at the forsaken man. “Supreme Leader, we apprehended one of the Resistance fighters, but the others are still in pursuit of the man.” A Stormtrooper explained, twisting her left arm into a painfully tighter angle. Athena groaned biting her lip harshly to hold in obvious discomfort, but then she felt the strange internal tether being yanked roughly again as a deep distorted voice spoke. “Why did he abandon the Rebel Scum?” 

“She’s injured Sir” The Stormtrooper on her right chuckled to some extent, jabbing his blaster into her wound. A gutted wounded scream sounded from Athena, her head whipping up, eyes squeezed shut tightly in agony. As her head shot up, Athena unwillingly revealed herself to Kylo Ren, the masked man, who immediately became thankful for the privacy of his mask as he stumbled back in shock.  _ It wasn’t possible…  _ Athena’s eyes opened slowly after the pain began to diminish, revealing her watery blue eyes that could make any sky envious. Athena watched the Supreme Leader in silence, his chest rising and falling heavily as if he was hyperventilating inside his mask, his lightsaber turning off and holstering to his side. She opened her mouth to antagonize him, the great Kylo Ren showing his weak side, but the words never left her mouth as the Stormtroopers readjusted their grip on her arms, twisting even further. Athena winced a rough intake of air flowing into her lungs, the sight angering the Supreme Leader. “Don’t hurt her!” Athena’s eyes widened as she was roughly ripped out of the grasp of the Troopers and pulled up onto her feet.“Who is responsible for shooting her?” His voice seemed deeper, challenging the men behind her. “I-I’m not sure Sir” The Stormtroopers shook visibly afraid of the repercussions. Kylo’s outstretched his hand, lifting one of the Stormtroopers into the air, choking him. “I said who is responsible for shooting her?” Ren growled out, his anger boiling. “CS 3981!” The one Stormtrooper gurgled out. “I will be seeing him then when he returns from his manhunt.” Kylo informed as the girl began to sway slightly, the lack of blood making her dizzy. Kylo steadied her, instantaneously dropping the Stormtrooper, and carefully avoiding her bloodied side. She was concerningly close to the enemy as he lifted his available black gloved to her red sweater, gently pulling it down to reveal her large pink scar. His index finger grazed over the tissue, before his hand hastily retreated. Kylo still appeared to be disoriented, even if his face was hidden behind the mask. “Athena” Her name stumbled from his mask, quiet and hesitant, nervous. Her eyes widened at this, how did he know her name? Athena was quiet for a moment, the new Supreme Leader shifting nervously in front of her. “How do you know my name?” Kylo’s head tilted in confusion, “What?” Kylo’s hand lifted again quickly, leveling with her forehead,  _ what was he doing?  _ Athena soon felt an odd tugging sensation in her mind and although it was not painful, it was not exactly comfortable. Athena saw a rapid flashing images of her life: escaping Crait, blowing up StarKiller Base, joining the Resistance, meeting the General, and the morning on the bench. It seemed as if the moment on the bench, her first memory, kept replaying over and over again. As if someone was trying to see the moment’s before it. Kylo Ren’s hand soon dropped, a primitive sounding snarl emitted from the cracked mask, a dark chuckle following. “You don’t know who I am” He muttered to himself, a hint of anger wedged into his tone. Athena snickered to herself, she knew who he was. He was the man who caused the Cataclysm of Hosnian Prime, who killed young innocent padawans, who murdered his own father in cold blood. “Of course I do,” Kylo’s mask held her eyes, “you’re a monster.” Kylo’s head dropped shamefully, her words seeming to strike a nerve. The cold air was silent for a moment when finally Kylo returned to look at Athena, who was starting to get even more light headed. Her right side of her shirt was clinging wetly to her skin. “Pull back, we have everything we need” Kylo instructed, the surrounding Stormtroopers retreating mutely, before his gloved hand rose back to Athena’s face, everything going black. 

_ Athena slipped out of the man’s tight grasp, running into the burning temple ahead at full speed, the man shouting after her. She ignored him bursting through the front doors, searching for any signs of life. Athena had only been inside the building for a few moments when the loud snapping noise blared over the sound of crackling fire. She looked up to the ceiling, panic filled her bones, knowing what was to come. She was just in time to watch the roof collapse, caving in on top of her.  _

Athena shot up, heaving in large amounts of air rapidly, tears pouring quickly down her warm face. She covered her face, crying into her dirty hands as sobs raked through her body, her right side burning in protest. Her dream had felt all too real: the smell of the smoke, the sweltering burn the fire had left behind as it kissed her skin, and how heavy the pieces of lumber had felt on top of her. “Are you alright?” a deep muffled, distorted, voice broke through the room, bringing Athena back to reality. She jumped further back onto the black bed she was on, her tear filled eyes scanning the bedroom hurriedly. A few small drawers were built into the dark gray paneling on her left, a large door in the far right corner assumingly leading to a bathroom, and another door, open, straight ahead that led to the rest of the living quarters. A wall sized window was on her right, the pitch black emptiness greeting her along with the billions of the vast stars,  _ she was in space, in someone’s living quarters.  _ Crouched down at the end of the bed was Kylo Ren, _ Kylo’s quarters, _ observing her though his mask. “I’m fine.” Athena snarled back, drying her tears, and attempting to regain what little composure she had left. She felt indisposed at the fact that the enemy was seeing her in such a vulnerable state. Kylo’s hands clenched at his side, the fabric rustling with it, as if he had heard her thoughts. “There’s no need to lie.” His deep voice was sincere and Athena did a double take before laughing faintly, “Why would the most hatred filled monster want to know about my well being?” “Don’t call me that!” Kylo snapped back immediately. Athena rolled her eyes, flashing a fake grin, “What? A Monster? Hate to break it to you  **Kylo Ren** but it’s you are!” Kylo’s fists tightened, the sound of creaking metal sounding off from somewhere in the room. “I-I can’t do this right now…” He stood quickly and retreated back out of the room and down the hall. “Hey, you can’t just leave me here!” Athena stood quickly, swaying slightly as she tried to race after him. Kylo turned and watched her rush into the small kitchen and dining area, her eyes wide with annoyance.“I can and I will.” Athena narrowed her eyes at him, “Am I your pris-”. Her words were cut off by a rough rapping noise against the gray door behind Kylo. “Supreme Leader your presence is requested on the bridge” A low nasally voice sounded from behind the door. Kylo Ren inhaled sharply, turning to the control panel and typing in a code allowing for the door to soar up. In the hallway stood a redhead man, layered in a black uniform, his jacket sporting the First Order emblem on the shoulder. The red haired man’s harsh green eyes, flicker over to Athena’s swiftly, his right eyebrow quirking up at the sight. “Why is the disgusting Rebel Scum in your quarters Ren?” The man inquired roughly. “She should be chained up, like any other.” Kylo snarled at the man, “She is none of your business General, it would do you good to remember your position.” The General nodded stiffly, turning sharply to his right and heading down the dark hallway. Kylo moved to follow him, before turning back to face Athena. “Clean yourself up,” Kylo’s head moved downwards as he eyed her blood covered sweater and mud caked pants, “there is clean clothing in the bathroom and I will see to it that a medical droid comes to apply fresh bandages to your wound.” Ren turned to the two hidden Stormtroopers on either side of his door, “Don’t let her leave this room” and with that he left, his door shutting behind him. Athena let out a frustrated sigh, sinking down to the cold charcoaled colored floor, she was trapped. She could not understand what was going on. Why was she in the Supreme Leader’s personal quarters and not chained up, beaten to a pulp, like any other Resistance fighter? Not that she was complaining per se. But most of all, Athena could not understand the odd familiarity that hung thickly, like a dark cloud around Kylo Ren. 


	4. There's No "I" in Escape

Kylo Ren had been gone for over half an hour and Athena still sat on the cold black floor, tucked into herself, rocking slightly. She had found herself captured before, this was not something uncommon for a Resistance Fighter, but this was new territory all together. She had never been abducted and taken to a First Order ship before, let alone been locked away in the personal quarters of the new Supreme Leader. What was more disturbing was the fact that Kylo seemed to know her name, but Athena simply chose to categorize that knowledge as a Force User’s mind trick. She had heard the legends around Hosnian Prime and even the Resistance bases, the Force was real and so was the Light and Dark side… Kylo Ren being a prime example of the Dark side. Athena was not sure what the man had in store for her, but she was concerned, no matter how oddly out of character the menacing buckethead was behaving… Everyone in the galaxy knew of the blistering hot temper hidden within the confines of his tight little helmet. 

The laughter of a child echoed through the quarters, waking Athena from her half dazed slumber. The rebel shot up, eyes widened in confusion and fear at the noise bouncing throughout the room. The quarters were empty, no child in sight, yet she could still hear the faint giggles from somewhere, the bedroom. Athena bounded down the short hallway, entering the now silent gray and black bedroom. _What in the Maker was happening? _Her eyes searched the room, nothing standing out, until she saw the partially opened drawer built into the wall. Athena walked over to it, hesitant, a part of her knowing she was going to find more than Kylo’s folded clothing. Her dirty trembling hand reached forward and yanked the drawer further out, wincing slightly, afraid of the contents. Peeking over the shoulder level drawer, Athena’s eyes fell onto stacks of neatly aligned black fabric, nothing of any remote interest. Sighing, the girl feeling a tad foolish for assuming something far worse, Athena goes to close the drawer. Just before the drawer closed completely, the faint laugh was heard again. Ripping open the drawer once again, Athena caught sight of a small dip in the bottom of the drawer. She removed the clothing hastily, tossing it messily onto the bed behind her. Lifting the false paneling of the drawer, revealed two items: something cylinder shaped wrapped heavily in torn brown fabric and a small faded white rectangle lying beside it. Athena instinctively reached for the thick paper, turning it over in her hands. It was a small faded, old, photograph of a smiling young woman, with long wavy brown hair flowing in the breeze, sitting in a large green meadow in between two young laughing children. A boy with thick curly black hair was on her right and a girl with two medium length braids falling over her shoulders, was on the left. Athena knew the woman instantly, she could pick her out in a sea of people, General Organa… which only meant the boy was her son, Kylo Ren. She continued to stare at the two, not understanding how something so bright and happy had turned to something dark and angry, when something caught Athena’s attention. In a flash, Athena was pulling the picture closer, examining it. Deep harsh breaths began to stagger out of Athena’s mouth as the photo slipped from her hand, softly cascading down to the floor. She wobbled back, out of the room, her chest tightening as she tried to process what she just saw. _What in the stars was going on? What did it mean? _The main door in the small kitchen, shot up, unveiling a black medical droid shuffling into the room. Athena did not think twice before she pushed past the droid and bolted to the left, past the two Stormtroopers who stood guard. “Hey, get back here!” One shouted after her, but Athena ignored him pushing on harder down the hall, her boots slapping heavily against the reflective tile. She was running around blindly unsure of where to go, taking sharp turns down random hallways, trying to lose her company. Seeing a divot in the hallway up above, Athena quickly dove into the door frame, hiding. She watched as the two Stormtroopers ran past her hideout, still in search of her. Athena took a moment to catch her breath, leaning against the wall, her mind still in disarray over what she had seen. Athena had many unanswered questions about her past, like for example: How had she forgotten 18 years of her life? Why had no one ever cared to look for her? She had to be missing from someone’s life, right? This new revelation, this new puzzle piece she had found, how did it fit into her unfinished disastrous puzzle of a life? 

Once Athena was certain the coast was clear, she stepped back out into the quiet hallway, heading back the way she came from, but making a quick right instead. Athena could hear loud voices echoing up ahead, orders, mandates, and reports all being thrown around… the Command Bridge. Athena winced, her nose scrunching up, as she realized she had taken a wrong turn. She quietly tiptoed back, begging for her shoes to be quieter, until she bumped into something hard, something that moved back from her force. She quickly turned to face the obstacle, two Stormtroopers standing idle behind her. The Troopers eyed her curiously, before their intercoms both began to relay a message. “The Supreme Leader’s prisoner has escaped, be on the lookout, but no harm is to come to her” a disembodied voice informed. The Stormtroopers turned their attention back to Athena, who shrugged sheepishly, “I saw her go that way.” She pointed to her left, the Stormtroopers faces never leaving hers, clearly not buying it. “Put your arms behind your back” the one to her right instructed, advancing forward. “Well, it was worth a shot.” Athena quickly ducked out of the grasp of the right Stormtrooper, ripping the blaster from his hands. She shot the one before her, moving his body to lay flush against hers, shielding her as Athena pointed the blaster to the other Trooper. The other fumbled slightly as he pointed his blaster at her, instructing her to put down her weapon and surrender. Athena only smirked, shooting the Stormtrooper, releasing the dead one in her grip as well, “Always shoot first.” Incoming running boots cut Athena’s victory short as another three Stormtroopers ran out of the Bridge doorway up ahead, stopping at the sight of her. They faltered for a moment at the sight of the two dead behind her, but Athena only motions for them to advance, “C’mon boys, I don’t have all day.” The three moved forward, but Athena promptly shot one down. The other two rushed forward, tackling her down to the floor, ripping the blaster from her hand in the process. She struggled against the two, punching and kicking harshly, getting a few good licks in, before the one on top of her drove his fist across her face. Athena immediately tasted blood, her lip burning in the process, but she ignored it using her elbow to repeatedly attack the one Stormtrooper in the head. He eventually fell back in pain and Athena pushed the second one off her and moved to deliver the final blow, punching him harshly against his white helmet. He fell back unconscious and Athena in a haste, whipped around to the second Stormtrooper, still behind her where she had pushed him aside. She heaved him back to the ground, clambering on top of him, her hands quickly wrapping around his throat, cutting off his air supply. The remaining Stormtrooper fell unconscious rather quick and Athena stumbled back up, trying to reign in her ragged breathing. “Who’s next?” She questioned, raising her arms outwards, eyeing the five bodies surrounding her on the floor. “I’m impressed.” Athena whipped around to see the red-headed General, leaving the bridge, an amused look in his eyes but a scowl on his lips. “I guess you” She huffed, stalking forward. The General’s amused look fell, turning into one of plain fear, the man was a coward, hiding behind the First Order. Her face was blank, emotionless, as she assessed the man’s stance… too much pressure lying in his legs. Once she was close enough, Athena dipped down extending her one leg out to swipe at the back of his knees. His knees buckled instanously, dropping down roughly and Athena wasted no time spinning him around and pressing her arm tightly against his neck. The redhead sputtered frantically, grasping roughly at her arm, surely leaving behind trails of red nail marks. Slowly the General began to stop fighting, falling unconscious in Athena’s arms. 

Heavy boots thundered against the tile, bounding in hurriedly… _Dear Maker not another one, her right side was killing her. _Athena looked up to see a man with thick black hair, a scar traveling down the right side of his face, adorning black robes and a look of pure shock on his face, at the sight before him. His whiskey brown eyes surveyed the five dead or unconscious Stormtroopers sprawled out on the ground behind her and the General limp in her arms. Athena let the General drop to the ground with a heavy thud as she stood back to her full height. Athena wiped the blood trickling down her chin with the back of her hand, eyeing the towering man in front of her. His stature was distinct, one she had seen before as well as the clothing, and his face was oddly attractive and hauntingly familiar… _Kylo Ren without his mask. _She had never seen him without his mask, even on Crait she could not see that far out, but a part of her deep inside told her she knew this face… knew him. The picture resurfaced in her mind and Athena immediately tossed the idea away, choosing to focus on the monster in front of her. She stalked forward, moving with a strangely calm grace, the blaster that had been ripped from her hands sorely missed. Kylo’s eyes widened as he watched her move closer, eyeing him like one of her prey, knowing what she was planning. Athena’s arms speedily shot forward, attempting to strike him, but each hit was easily deflected by Kylo’s massive gloved hands. This did not alter her confidence though, the two soon dancing around each other as her assaults were continuously averted by the Supreme Leader. He was almost smiling at her, at each attempted strike, and Athena did not find his taunting attractive grin amusing. Finding her attempts to be futile, Athena swiftly turned her assaults to Kylo’s abdomen. Her two hard kicks, took him by surprise, and he doubled over, the wind knocked out of him. Wasting no time, Athena swung her leg over his body, leaping onto the sturdy hard back, legs wrapping around his arms, and tightly securing them to his sides. She wrapped her right arm around his throat, pulling his head back against her blood coated red sweater as she applied immense pressure on his windpipe. Kylo struggled against her, groaning at the lack of air intake. Athena had heard how strong he was physically and with the force, she could feel the layers of bulky muscle beneath her, yet the man did seem to be putting up too much of a fight beneath her. “Athena” he groaned, voice distorted from the pressure on his throat, but the voice was still deep and recognizable. Fire raced through Athena’s mind, smoke clouding her vision, the person holding her back in her dreams was never clear, but his voice was, _“No Athena, I can’t lose you too!” _Athena dropped off of Kylo, staggering backwards in a daze, beginning to feel lightheaded. “W-Who are you?” Kylo turned around carefully to regard her, hand rubbing soothingly over his reddening neck, “You’re already putting it together.” Athena shook her head frantically, her eyes beginning to burn. Where had she been, where there was a massive fire? Where innocents were slaughtered in a field? where Kylo Ren “The Jedi Killer” saved her? Athena’s eyes widened, the story of General Organa’s son, before he became Kylo Ren, burning the Jedi Temple to the ground, killing all living Jedi, besides for Luke Skywalker and himself, reiterating itself in her mind. If this was the fire of her dreams, why had Athena been there? “No, it’s not possible” She choked out, but the picture she found earlier began to swirl around in her mind again. More specifically, the necklace that hung around the little girl’s neck, a purple crystal tied at the end of a black leather rope, the same necklace currently hidden under Athena’s red sweater. Tears streamed down her face, turning brown from the dirt still on her face, as confusion created a wave of pain inside her. Athena thought of her adoptive parents, General Organa, and the photo, all of it proving to be too much. She began to feel even more lightheaded, her skin beginning to swelter from a deep interior heat, “I think I’m going to pass out.” Athena’s vision darkened around the edges, tunneling around the intensely sympathetic brown eyes staring back at her. The last thing she remembered was sturdy warm arms wrapping around her…


	5. Priorities

Soft billowing sounds of breath greeted Athena as she woke, along with a pounding headache. She weakly propped herself up, taking in her surroundings, her throat which was achingly dry made itself known. The dark gray room, the black silk sheets covering her, the cold compress pressed to her forehead, and her black boots placed carefully on the floor at the edge of the bed. Athena took it all in, the realization dawning on her; she was trapped in Kylo Ren’s quarters once again. The vast emptiness of space stared back at the girl, through the wide-open window ahead, the thousands of stars mocking her, knowing she would probably never escape. Athena slid out of the bed, a shiver eliciting from deep down her spine as her bare feet touched the ice cold tile. A soft snore followed by the sound of rustling fabric reminded Athena that she was not alone. Slowly she turned away from the window, seeing a stiff black chair positioned at the foot of the bed, the man with ebony colored hair and matching clothing crammed into it. His head hung back, exposing every little freckle that was scattered across his pale skin, the dark circles that enclosed around his eyes in a sickly manner, and the long scar on the right side of his face from his encounter with Rey on StarKiller Base. His plump mauve lips were parted slightly soft breaths jutting out from between them. His thick black eyebrows were knitted together, beads of sweat began to form across his forehead. He looked bothered in his peaceless sleep, as if something was haunting him. Athena shifted closer, against her better judgement, a feeling deep inside telling her she knew him. The bridge hallway events came flooding back, her attacks against the Stormtroopers, the red-headed General, her fainting, **his ** voice coming back to her. _ The voice that plagued her nightmares. _How did she know the enemy? Kylo shuffled around in the chair, his large long body stuffed painfully into the uncomfortably small chair. He stirred long enough that Athena, afraid of his awakening, rushed backwards into a room… the bathroom. 

The door shut down after her and Athena let out a sigh of relief; she felt better knowing he could not see her and she could not see him. She turned to view the bathroom, the same bland black tile enclosing around the small room and the simplistic gray vanity standing out against it on her right. Neatly folded clothing rested on the gray marble counter, the fabric too small to fit Kylo, _ “There is clean clothing in the bathroom.” _ Athena peeled off her ruined clothing and tossed them into a medium sized waste bin, besides the vanity, there was no point in trying to salvage them. Glancing up, Athena caught sight of an unrecognizable reflection staring back at her in the mirror. The woman in the looking glass was covered in filth, her hair weighed down by dried mud, her face as well caked in the brown substance apart from the streaks of clean skin her tears had left behind. Her body was coated in mud, blood staining the skin on her right side, around the dull stained beige bandages wrapped around her stomach. This was not the Athena she knew… this did not even look like herself, and she had gotten into her fair share of messy fights prior to this. Carefully undoing her bandages, Athena disposed of them along with her “sympathizing” clothing, eyeing the wound on her side. The skin was scabbing around the edges of the injury, but the middle was still red, agitated, and bleeding. _ It was a miracle she wasn’t dead, but an argument could be made that the situation she was in was no miracle. _ Turning on the hot water, she stepped into the open shower, only a slab of glass separating her from the rest of the world. But the glass was not enough, not enough to stop the visions swirling around in her mind, all in scrambled bits begging to be put back in the correct order. As she massaged her hair with a bar of soap, Athena tried to piece together everything she could: the nightmare of the fire, Kylo’s voice, the man who abandoned her on Hosnian, and the fact she had no memory prior to that. None of it fit together, the only thing pieces she could connect was the nightmare and Kylo’s voice, but even that did not seem real. Athena roughly scrubbed her at her skin, her mind racing as the strong smell of cedarwood, cloves, and surprising hints of lavender filled her nose… _ Now she smelled like Kylo Ren, wonderful! _The drain carried away the brown water along with the pink droplets of diluted blood, washing away most of the evidence of her first encounter with Kylo Ren. 

For the past 11 years, all Athena had ever wanted was answers, to who she was, to what her part was in all of this. Her throat thickened as she thought of her worst fear: that she was no one, an orphan that nobody loved or remembered, a young girl with no memories of her previously nothing life. She felt like a nobody, was a nobody, but she needed answers. Athena stepped out from behind the glass, reaching for the folded gray towel on the vanity counter. She dried herself off and quickly dressed in the clothing provided for her: black undergarments, long black uniform socks, black uniform pants, and a purposefully uneven gray sweater, the sleeves both different lengths along with the bottom hemline. Her heart was beating frantically against her chest as she turned to face the control panel. A part of her wanted to be foolish and believe he was still asleep and she could jury rig the main door control panel and escape into the night, but who was she kidding?_ Stay strong, you cannot be weak in front of the enemy, even if he wants to pretend to hold answers to your past, _ Athena reminded herself. Inhaling deeply, Athena tapped on the control panel, the bathroom door shooting up silently. The bedroom was eerily quiet, no more soft snores echoing around. Kylo Ren sat on the edge of the black bed, his head in his gloved hands, his back heaving up and down as faint sounds of heavy breathing emitted from his figure. The door closing behind Athena, alerted him to her presence, his head shooting up, red sorrow filled eyes locking onto hers. “Hi” He mumbled. Athena nodded stiffly in his direction in return, her words failing her. _ What were you even supposed to say? _ “Are you all right? Feeling better?” He questioned, eyes raking over her overall state, in search of any sign of distress. ‘I’m fine, besides being held against my will.” Athena shot back, a sarcastic grin on her face. _ There’s her inner fire. _ Kylo winced at her words, head dropping shamefully. “Besides”, Athena moved to sit in a chair beside the bed, as far from him as possible, “Why do you even care?” Kylo’s head whipped back to look at her, an unreadable look on his features, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Athena let out a short hard laugh as she picked up her black boots. The leather material now gleamed, not an inch of mud to be found on them, somebody cleaned them. “Simple, men like you don't care about people like me!” Athena stated shoving her black enclosed feet into the clean leather. “And what does that mean?” Kylo barked anger edging its way into his voice. Athena gulped lowly, every rational part of her should have been trembling with fear, _ Stars parts of her were shaking _ , but it did not stop her from antagonizing the beast in front of her. “I’m really going to have to dumb it down for you aren’t I? Well hmm let’s see… Evil men who have no souls, do not start worrying about women who they don’t know, let alone a woman on the opposite side as you!” Athena heard the fabric of his gloves whine in protest as it was folded in, Kylo’s fists clenched tightly. His ragged breathing returned at an alarming rate as he ran his hands roughly through his hair, fisting handfuls of his inky black locks in his hands. He seemed to sink into himself as he tried to rein in his anger, becoming only a figure of black, _ a shadow of a monster. _ Kylo whimpered slightly, “Please stop calling me that.” It was practically inaudible but Athena caught the words he whispered to himself more than her. His strange and quick transition had Athena puzzled, taken aback by the vulnerability in his hushed words. Was he affected by her or simply her words? Surely the “Jedi Killer” had been called worse. Kylo straightened abruptly turning to look at Athena, dismissing her harsh words with a simple wave of his hand, instead focusing on a particular phrase in her rant. “But I do know you.” He divulged. Athena snickered lightly, hand pushing her wet waves out of her face, “I don’t know what kind of delusions you are having _ Spaceboy _ but you don’t know me…” she shook her head dropping it, missing the hopeful smile on Kylo’s face at her nickname for him, “I don’t even know who I am.” The room was silent for a few moments, deep breaths being taken by both, the tension thick and suffocating before Kylo spoke once again. “Your favorite color was purple. Not like the bright vibrant kind, but the pale lilac. The color you see in the sky before the sun sets, the color that lingers in the clouds.” _ How did he-? _ Athena’s train of thought was cut off by Kylo chuckling lightly, “Oh how many sunsets you made me watch with you.” He smiled briefly, the sight unfamiliar and surprising to Athena. “Your favorite planet was Naboo. We visited twi- _ once _when we were children, you adored the warmth, the clear blue water, and the endless greenery surrounding us. You were so envious that my grandmother had been from there… You were born amid a week long horrible storm on Chandrila and as the story goes, the minute you were born, the rain ceased. A sign they believed to be from the Maker. You talked in your sleep until you were eight. You-” 

“Stop! Please…” Kylo looked back at Athena, confused why she wanted him to stop, until he saw the girl trembling with tears pooling in her eyes, the eyes that so easily reflected the Lake of Naboo. “H-How do you know all that?” She uttered, a small tear slipping down her cheek. “You and I” Kylo paused, a look of hesitation and uncertainty etched on his face, “We were… we were friends.” Athena immediately recoiled, head ducking down as she tried to process his words. It was not plausible, friends? She wanted to refuse him, deny him outright, but the pieces were assembling themselves. How else would she have heard his voice in her nightmares? Why would she be in a picture with him? Deep down she knew it was true, she used to be friends with a murderer. But why did she not remember? 

“Why don’t I remember anything?” Kylo shook his head angrily, standing up promptly, heat radiating off of his imposing stature. “Luke erased your memory, erased me out of your life. Erased your whole life so you would be safe!” Kylo stalked towards her, undeniable fury rolling off of his body in waves of steam. Luke Skywalker erased her memory? The legendary man who nodded at her on Crait, the Master Jedi? The bearded man had seemed familiar… Athena’s eyes widened finally grasping why, the man on Hosnian. Luke Skywalker was the man who left her on that bench all alone that distant morning. But why had he abandoned her? The noise of something heavy thudding to the floor, reined Athena in from the endless confusion of her thoughts. Before her knelt Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader, the Master of the Knights of Ren, the heir apparent to Darth Vader, exhibiting pure vulnerability as he looked up into her eyes. “You would have been safe with me, but I thought you died that night. I thought you were **dead** Athena!” Kylo’s hand came up to softly caress her cheek, Athena wincing at the notion. Kylo’s jaw clenched at her actions, his bottom lip wobbling slightly. “But, then there you were, my _ l _ -friend, 11 years later aiding the Resistance with no memory of me. A fate, a punishment crueler than death…” Athena could barely process the words coming out of his mouth, her heart beating too deafeningly. “Safe from what?” She pondered, her question no louder than a whisper. “I presume me. From Snoke. Your own mind maybe.” Kylo answered, dismissing the question rather quickly with a wave of his hand, too pained by the images flashing in his mind to form coherent sentences. “What’s so dangerous about my mind?” Athena’s eyebrows furrowed but Kylo was silent, as if he had not heard her question. _ How could a nobody be a danger to herself? _ A low chuckle rose from Kylo’s plump lips, “You aren’t a nobody that’s why. Your mind is dangerous because of the knowledge you possess, you have a larger role in all of this than you believe.” Athena’s stomach twisted and turned as she internally tried to come to terms with the fact that the past she did not remember, held more secrets than she imagined. Kylo still knelt before her, having no second thoughts in the amount of weakness he was displaying before her, staring at her attentively ensuring she did not faint again. Refusing to make eye contact, Athena held onto her black boots, the leather appearing even darker from the shadow cast by Kylo. Internally she was questioning how she had gotten to this exact moment, why her life decisions had brought her here, to a murderer holding the key to her past. Athena’s curiosity was consuming her whole, the silence eating away at her as well. 

“Who am I?” Athena whispered, the question directed more to herself than Kylo. He was silent as he reached up to tuck a section of her wet hair behind her ear, the contact making Athena flinch once again. Kylo’s jaw bone shifted beneath his freckled skin, clenching together tightly as he attempted not to lose control at the simple reactions. She did not remember him after all, not the old him. “Your name is Athena, Athena Jinn.” Athena glanced up at the man who delivered a name that sounds nothing but foreign. She nodded silently and covered her face with her trembling hands… Athena Jinn. 

“General you have to listen to me!” Poe demanded racing around the command center after the General. Even in her aging state she was still quick on her feet, leaving Poe to trail behind like a lost Wookie. He had barely escaped that First Order Sympathizing planet with his life, that treacherous Nor Del selling them out, but in his efforts to escape he had left behind a wounded Athena. The First Order had her, Kylo Ren had Athena… Poe grimaced as he remembered the skull shattering pain he had experienced at the hands of the New Supreme Leader. He could only imagine the pain Athena was going through, if she was even still alive. The Resistance pilot shook away the distressing thought, she had to be alive, she had to be. “Dameron trust me I want to get her back too, but she’s not our top priority at the moment.” The General spoke with the utmost tranquility as she read from a datapad in her hands. Poe let out an exasperated sigh, tugging at the roots of his messy hair, “She’s in danger and whether or not you support me I’m going after her.” General Organa rolled her eyes, not bothering to look up at the Wing Commander. “I can promise you she’s okay. He won’t lay a hand on her.” “And how can you possibly guarantee me that?” Poe questioned crossing his arms over his chest, his frustration boiling over. He knew Kylo Ren was once her son, but the man under the mask was no longer him. She could not be blind to what he truly was now… a monster. Leia sighed dropping the datapad down on an old metal table as she turned to the man who constantly questioned every little decision, it was partially what she liked so much about him. “Because Poe,” She paused eyeing the surrounding officers who seemed to pay no mind to them, “My son has been in love with Athena since he was fourteen years old.” 

Kylo left shortly after revealing Athena’s true name, claiming to have business to attend to, his presence needed back at the command bridge. “_ Stay here, no more escape attempts. General Hux, although amusing to me, was not particularly fond of your interactions earlier today. I can’t keep you safe if you run around dropping bodies again.” _ And with that he left, locking her once again in his quarters. Athena sat motionless in the chair, the ticking of a nearby clock the only indication of passing time. She had only moved when a medical droid came in and reapplied bandages to her abdomen, she did not even try to escape this time. How had she been friends with Kylo Ren? It seemed she had spent her childhood with him. He had answered some of her questions but in their wake only a million more arose. Where were her birth parents? Why had Kylo saved her from a fire? Surely it could not have been the infamous Jedi slaughter, she was not a Jedi! And for fuck’s sake what was her role in all of this? Kylo’s vague answers were not helping, it only seemed that he wanted to taunt her with her past. Something white on the edge of the black sea of a bed stood out, making Athena stand to retrieve it. It was ** the** photograph of a young Kylo Ren and Athena, the children only looking to be ten and nine, respectfully. Athena’s eyes watered as she stared into the bright blue eyes of her younger self, the young girl abundantly happy standing next to the crouched down General… _ The General. _ Leia knew she had no memories of her past, many nights Athena would seek comfort from the woman, but why had she never mentioned she knew the girl? Why had she never told Athena the truth? Anger began to boil underneath Athena’s cold skin, warming her instantly. She wanted to be upset, angry, filled with hate because the General had disclosed none of this to her, had let her wander around feeling nothing short of abandoned, unloved, and clueless. But, the anger began to dwindle down leaving Athena to feel shaky, if her past was as dangerous as Kylo said, she could not blame the General for keeping the secret. A part of her knew Leia was only trying to keep her safe. Athena reached down her gray sweater and retrieved the purple crystal necklace, the only piece from her past she had, something she clearly had always worn, aside from the massive scar on her neck. She glanced down at the vibrant purple crystal, barely being able to make out her reflection as her mind raced around the new information. Her name was not Athena Stryker it was Athena Jinn, apparently she loved the planet Naboo, but she does not recall having ever been there, and her favorite color was purple. That fact was something she had always remembered, perhaps a given thanks to the crystal around her neck. In the previous empty years when Athena would lie in bed, begging for some sort of clue who she was, she would clutch the crystal tightly and a sense of peace would come over her. No matter how tightly she clutched it now though, Athena only felt worse as tears sploshed down onto her hands and lap. She was so sick of crying, of letting the enemy have the upper hand. It did not matter if Kylo claimed to know who she was, she could not sit here any longer and allow him to taunt her with her own past. It was all just a game to him, he would reveal a small set of clues and watch her gravel and beg for more. Athena had to get out of here and maybe on her own she could find answers herself, Stars General Organa was a good place to start. The Resistance fighter could no longer allow herself to feel helpless, they trained her better than that. Athena rushed into the small kitchen, yanking open random drawers until she found the one stocked full of shining cutlery. She grabbed a silver coated knife and walked over to the main door, using the knife to pry open the control panel. The red panel fell down, revealing many interwoven multicolored wires, _ oh Maker. _Sure Poe had taught her how to rewire just about anything, but this was different, nothing compared to her flying days with Poe. Placing the butter knife between her teeth, Athena’s hands rapidly reached for the wires, attempting to detangle them. She had to be quick, if she wanted to get out unnoticed. Who knew when Kylo would be back…

Kylo Ren stood in the command bridge, General Hux on his left droning on about security and how all prisoners should be properly secured in holding cells. “She’s not a prisoner General Hux henceforth I will not lock her up like one. Perhaps your soldiers should be more qualified to handle one Resistance Fighter.” Kylo’s eyes stayed trained on the stars ahead, his mind still in disbelief over the last 13 hours. “My men are more than qualified Supreme Leader, but a Resistance Fighter should be held prisoner. Don’t let your personal feelings get in the way Ren.” Hux spit out, the man still angered by the death grip the girl had secured around his neck…. She had made a mockery of him for all to see. Kylo’s head pivoted to eye the General, “Personal feelings?” Hux opened his mouth to respond but found the flow of air in his throat being cut off, for the second time today. The redhead sputtered out as Kylo lifted him in a force choke, “It would do you wonders to remember your position Hux and to mind your own business. The girl is of no concern to you.” Hux nodded frantically grasping at his throat and the invisible force choking him, silently begging to be put down. Kylo glared at the man, fury flooding his veins, he did not appreciate the assumptions flying from Hux’s mouth, he knew nothing. A sensation flooded Kylo’s mind, making him stagger back and drop the General. It was beckoning him, a calling from the Force, and he knew just who from. The energy was one of pure light, one he had known since the beginning of his time, and would always know till his death. Hesitantly Kylo focused on the energy reaching for him, immediately feeling the surge of Light that flooded his being. _ They’ll soon come for her. They’ll soon come for her. _The voice kept whispering in his head, the sentence reiterating itself multiple times before the energy disappeared, leaving Kylo feeling hollow. His eyes shot open, General Hux eyeing him annoyed as he sucked in large amounts of air still. Kylo’s eyes shifted over to see two lieutenants, a woman wearing a tight low bun and a man with a sickly thin face, conversing over their data pads, “You two alert the bay to prepare my command shuttle.” The lieutenants nodded quickly before parading off, Kylo turning his attention back to Hux. “General I am leaving and I am putting you in charge until my return.” Before the man could even put up a fight or question where the Supreme Leader of the First Order thought he was going, Kylo stalked off and out of the Bridge heading elsewhere.

Athena had finally shifted through the multitude of wires, plucking a particular red and a blue one out of the mess. She hoped that this would allow the door to open and not send the entire compound into sirening red alarms. She took a deep breath, silently praying to the Maker for this to work. Athena slowly pushed the two wires together, a spark eliciting from the adjoining wires, and the gray door besides her shot up. She quickly dropped the wires, her hands flying up in victory, her smile making it hard to still hold the knife in between her teeth. Her celebration was ruined by the tall black figure walking through the doorway, eyes wide in surprise, and face looking almost amused. “You’ve gotten better at that.” Kylo remarked gesturing to the wires, his eyes never leaving her face or more so the knife in her mouth. Athena quirked an eyebrow up surprised he had not mentioned her attempt to escape, before removing the knife in her mouth. “You said you had business to attend to.” Kylo ignored her, his long black fingers plucking the knife from her hand and moving behind her to place it down on the kitchen counter. “Something’s come up, we’re leaving as soon as possible.” Athena whipped around at that, “What do you mean **we **are leaving?” Kylo moved past her again, heading down the hall to the bedroom. He was truly sick in the mind if he thought she was going anywhere with him. Athena quickly plucked the silver knife off the counter and moved to hide it within her boot, “Put the knife back!” His voice made Athena jump and she groaned slamming the knife back on the counter, deciding to follow after him. “I’m not going anywhere with you!” Athena called as she walked down the hallway, seeing Kylo packing a small black bag with items from his drawers. She vaguely saw him stuff the cylinder wrapped item from beneath the false paneling into the bag as well. “You will find I can be most persuasive” he mumbled under his breath. Athena moved to stand on the other side of the bed, staring him down, but the Supreme Leader refused to look at her. “I’m not going anywhere with you, this is enough.” Athena gestured to the whole room and ship. “If you come with me, I can show you your past.” Kylo promised eyes still down as he packed his belongings. “I want nothing to do with my past!” Athena spit out, trying to regain her composure from his words, was it possible? She bit her lip reminding herself that she had been trying to escape him and his taunting games. Kylo’s head rose at that eyes reading her, “That’s a lie.” Athena shook her, denying him, he could claim to have known her all he wanted but he did not know Athena Stryker. Kylo’s back straightened as he returned to his towering height, his eyes biting down into her. She raised her eyebrows in response, a silent challenge to be extracted from the action. A black gloved hand shot out at her, her mind instantly feeling the strain. “You have spent years crying yourself to sleep wondering about your past. You’re confused about all of this, about your part in the big picture. You’re afraid you’ll never find answers or even worse they’ll be answers you don’t want to hear.” Kylo’s hand tugged even harder on her mind and Athena gritted her teeth in response, trying to fight him. “You’re afraid… afraid of M-Me.” Kylo stuttered out, eyes beginning to gleam. “Get out of my head!” Athena strained, pushing him straight out of her head, and herself into his. 

_ The image was murky as if it did not want to full reveal itself to Athena. She could see the plush green grass and a boy in brown robes sitting in it. His black hair blew wildly in the warm breeze, his dark eyes trained on something ahead. It was the boy from the picture only a few years older. The fog began to dissipate up ahead revealing a young girl in taupe colored robes, two thick braids trailing down her back, blue eyes crinkling up as she smiled at the boy. The young girl was the one from the picture, Athena mentally not able to admit who it really was. Athena could feel the strange twisting sensation in her stomach, butterflies erupting inside, the same feeling the dark-haired boy felt as he returned the smile. _

The image faded and Athena was once again in the quarters of Kylo Ren, the man now standing beside her watching intently, a frightened look on his face. “Wh-” Athena paused the tears thick in her throat, “What was that?” Kylo sighed, reaching up to wipe away the heavy tears pouring down her face. “Everything is going to be okay” He whispered assuringly before waving his hand in front of her face, the darkness once again consuming her vision. 

Athena slowly opened her eyes to overwhelming brightness, a white light hanging around her vision. Was she dead? She blinked repeatedly, trying to take in her surroundings, the insignia of the First Order plastered across one wall. Definitely not dead, but on a First Order Command Shuttle, with a familiar dark haired man sitting across from her, his head down in his hands. “Ren” Kylo’s head rose at that, a hopeful smile on his face before he realized he had misheard her. “Where are we going?” A soft smile spread onto his face, but his eyes held an assortment of sadness and guilt. “Somewhere Safe.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmm who do we think warned Kylo of a possible rescue mission for Athena? And why?


	6. Somewhere Safe

The peculiar sound of birds chirping caused Athena to stir in her sleep. She blinked heavily, pushing away the lure of sleep as she rolled over in the large bed to examine the room filled with streaks of sunlight. The new room she was in was quite large, yet only a few items were in it. The bed she was in was on the back wall, a tall white wardrobe straight ahead, and a matching dresser was on the left wall with a vase of white flowers placed on top. A blast door was on the wall next to the dresser which presumably led out to wherever, a large window on the right wall where the warm sunlight trinkled in from, and another door was in the far right corner leading to perhaps a bathroom. Pulling back the soft blue covers, Athena swung her feet out to touch the floor. She was still in her gray and black First Order attire and as she stood she could still feel the ache in her right side.  _ Where was she?  _ Athena shuffled towards the door on the left, the door slid upwards to display a quiet white hallway and another door in front of her. Stepping out into the hallway, she gazed at all the different pieces of parchment scattered amongst the white walls. Some of the parchments depicting maps of various places: Hanna City, Naboo’s Lake Side, and Nayli, the countryside of Chandrila. Other parchments illustrated ancient looking symbols that resonated with Athena, like she had seen them before, for some unknown reason. A particularly large piece of parchment hung at the end of the hallway, a young woman portrayed upon it. She had a long braid trailing across the crown of her head and down to her shoulder, the rest of her hair flying freely in the wind. She was beautiful, every feature elegantly portrayed, even the large scar on her neck. Athena’s fingers immediately reached out to trace the ink outline of the scar,  **her ** scar. It was her, the portrait, of course it was. On the bottom corner of the paper, was tiny elegant writing. “Athena, 23 ABY.” And signed below it were the initials “B.S.”. Skimming all of the surrounding parchments Athena found they were all signed “B.S.” Who was BS and why had they drawn her? Athena’s bare feet were cold against the white wood floors as she continued into the main opening. The hallway exited out into a large, bright, and open space, a living room to her left with light blue couches and chairs surrounding a white table. In the far corner there was a bookcase stacked with hundreds of multicolored books, a hallway beside it, and a desk against the other wall. To her right was a small wooden table, two chairs positioned across from each other and a medium sized white kitchen just beyond it. Everything was so white, open, airy, and vivacious, with the sweet smell of flowers everywhere, she knew she could not be at another First Order Base. 

Athena’s mouth began to water as she saw the fresh fruits and vegetables packed onto the kitchen counter, each piece ripe and enticing. Hurrying into the kitchen, she plucked a shining red apple from the assortment and took a massive bite, internally savoring the juicy tart taste.  _ When was the last time she even ate? How long had she been asleep for? The last she remembered, she was lying in a Command Shuttle.  _ Her inquiries were cut short by the sound of faint shuffling entering the room. Athena turned slowly, eyes meeting a bare torso littered with scars. Looking up, she found a man with messy black hair covering most of his face, Kylo. For someone of such size and stature, the man was impossibly light on his feet. “Good Morning.” His baritone voice was even deeper, thickened and raspier from sleep. “Um, Good Morning?” Athena mumbled shifting her gaze back to her apple. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were awake yet.” He stated, clearing his throat after as he reached for an apple behind her. “It’s okay…” She trailed off admiring the scar tissue on his left side, almost mirroring exactly where her wound was. “Where are we?” Athena questioned taking another bite of the red apple and backing out of the kitchen. “Somewhere safe” was all he said, his back still to her, giving her time to note all of the other little scars that resided on his back that led down to the waistline of his loose black pants. “And where would that be?” She pushed. Kylo turned around to face her, taking a sip from his glass of water that seemed to appear from thin air, almost giving her a questioning look. “All you need to know is we are safe, no one to bother us.” Athena rolled her eyes,  _ she was not sure what delusional world he was in, but under what circumstances did he believe she wanted to be here with him? _ She sighed audibly before taking another bite out of her slowly dwindling apple. Ignoring him, she moved slowly throughout the main room, picking up random items to examine before setting them back down, all while Kylo’s eyes were trained on her from the kitchen. “Why are we at a house and not another base?” She looked back at him, eyebrows lifting in questioning. “The Resistance was close to finding you hence why we left, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they would locate us at another base or ship. They will never search here though, that I know.” Athena closed her eyes nodding along to his words.  _ Damn he was smart which would only prove to make escaping or being rescued that much harder!  _ She opened her eyes, ready to quip back at his statement, but a glimmer of light caught her eye. 

Down the hall in between the bookcase and desk was a door full of light. Mesmerized Athena’s apple slipped from her hand as she walked towards the door, ignorant to the sound of following footsteps. As she reached the door, her hand extended outwards causing the door to slide to the left. Athena rushed out the door and into the blinding sunlight, blinking rapidly to take in the sight, a garden full of vibrant flowers and plants and just beyond a large lake glistening in the sun. Her breath was taken away as she moved along the path, bare feet taking in the sensation of the soft plush grass below, and her hands outstretched skimming the tops of tall luscious greenery. Although she quickly halted in her pursuit, a bush of white flowers, the ones from her room, catching her attention. She bent down to take in the euphoric scent, a strange sense of nostalgia washing over her. “Those are Gardenias, your favorite.” Her thumb gently caressed a petal before she stood back up, facing away from Kylo. “Why did you bring me here?” She questioned, eyes raking over the quiet land surrounding them. “To keep you sa-” “No!” Athena cut him off, spinning around to face him, almost instantly regretting it due to the look of pure sincerity in his warm eyes. “Why am I here?” She tried again. She was a Resistance Fighter and he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. She was supposed to be locked into an interrogation chair on a Star Destroyer, not galavanting through a garden with him. It did not matter that they were once friends, he had killed his own father, why was she any exception? Kylo nodded stiffly, “Take a shower, clean your wound” Kylo pointed to her gray sweater where blood was beginning to seep through the fabric. How was she still bleeding? Her movements must have agitated the healing skin. “Then we will discuss it all.” Athena was taken aback by his demand but silently nodded and followed the path back to the house, grazing past him in the process. The skin contact left a sweltering heat behind in its absence, one Athena tried to shake away, yet it only seemed to spread beneath her skin like wildfire. Kylo followed behind her, maintaining a safe distance until she stopped at her door in the hallway and he brushed past her to stop at his parallel door. Both of them stood with their backs to each other, the fire inside Athena never wavering for a moment, something about this place was putting her on edge. Something about  **him ** was putting her on edge. Whatever it was, it was bringing out something in her she always knew was there. Still feeling his hovering presence Athena inhaled sharply and entered her room, the door closing behind her to shut Kylo out. Once safe within her quarters, Athena leaned against the wall and covered her burning face with her cooler hands. Something was not right, something about this place seemed eerily familiar, like she had been here before. Well, she must of been, her portrait hung on one of the walls… just another piece lost in her mind. Kylo had promised if she came with him, that he would reveal her past, a part of her was wondering if he would ever get around to that. Pushing herself off the wall, Athena headed to the bathroom, but halted in her movement. What was she supposed to wear? Turning on her heel, she walked out into the hallway, going to knock on Kylo’s door. Before her fist could touch the metal of the blast door, it slid open on its own. “Kylo?” Athena poked her head in, seeing no sign of him and hearing the faint sound of running water. Stepping inside, her blue eyes roamed around the larger room, with more furniture and items scattered around. There was a large unmade bed on the back wall with purple and pale green sheets in a heap on top. Athena’s hand reached out to feel the fabric, a part of her already knowing what the cool soft silk felt like, a part of her already knew what it felt like against her warm skin. There was a large gray chair by the end of the bed, the seat covered in black clothing, that she could only imagine belonging to one person. Between two large windows was a dresser covered in dust and face down picture frames, curiously Athena stepped forward to examine them, but something in the corner of her eye directed her attention elsewhere. In the right corner of the room, were odd lacerations seared into the cement foundation of the wall. Athena’s fingers traced over the marks that were cold and faded, signifying their age, a decade old at least. It looked as if the marks had been burned into the wall, Athena’s thoughts making her eyes widened in realization… Lightsaber slashes. “Ahh Athena?” A voice disrupted Athena’s shock, the girl instinctively turning towards the person. Behind her stood a naked Kylo Ren, well practically, a towel was loosely wrapped around his waist. Athena gulped taking in the sight of glistening chest and the wet hair that clung to his face, his ears poking out slightly. The fire inside blazed as her eyes raked over his figure, her fingers itching to trace over every scar, divot, and even run through his hair. Snapping back to reality, Athena looked to see the smirk residing on Kylo’s face before she whipped around. “Oh I’m so sorry! I just needed some clothes and... b-bandages, yes bandages!” She kept her one hand pressed to her face trying to diminish the hot blush and the other trying to eradicate her racing heart. “The wardrobe and dresser are full of clothes, I had them stocked for you. As for bandages I will find some for you.” He answered simply, although she could detect a hint of humor hidden in his words. Athena rolled her eyes, how foolish of her to assume those would be empty. “Um yes thank you, I’ll go now.” Athena squeaked out, keeping her hand up as a shield as she exited the room. 

Back in the safety of her room, Athena’s mind raced, why was she having these bizarre thoughts? He was the enemy, who had committed horrendous crimes, yet these thoughts still emerged. He was a monster, yet this newly surfacing part of her wanted to believe the man in the other room had been seduced to the dark side like General Organa said. Maybe Athena only wanted to believe that because he held the key to her past. With her chest weighing her down, Athena retrieved clothing from the wardrobe and dresser and tossed them onto the bed, before entering the bathroom. The bathroom was decently sized with white floors and gray walls, the shower calling her name. Undressing and removing her leaking bandages, Athen slipped into the shower. She allowed for the warm water to wash over, hoping that it would cleanse away her confusion. Yet, as she turned off the water, a grimace fell over her features the restless confusion still eating away at her. Grabbing a soft ivory towel from a shelf, Athena wrapped it around herself as she caught her reflection in the fogged up mirror. Wiping away the moisture she revealed her dripping wet reflection, her scar red from the hot water. Mindlessly her index finger reached up to trace the jagged outline of the skin causing a flash of an image behind her eyes to illuminate.

_ Athena was suddenly overwhelmed by a searing burning pain on the right side of her neck. She looked around to find herself now lying in an infirmary, a young boy seated besides her bed, his awkwardly long body tucked into itself as his head was cradled in his hands. “Ben” she whispered. His head sprung up at her hoarse voice, his eyes red and filled with tears. “Athena” He choked out grasping her hand tightly within his. Silent tears continued to shed from his eyes as Athena’s free hand softly wiped them away. “I’m so sorry” he mumbled, but she only silenced the boy, caressing his sad stricken face. “It was an accident, I knew better than to move that close.” The boy only shook his head, his inky curls bouncing at the movement. “Stop, it’s my fault.” Tears still staining his flushed face. “Ben...” Athena went to move, her voice faltering at the pain spreading through her neck. She grimaced biting the inside of her cheek, not wanting to bring attention to her discomfort, but the boy watched her intently… he always did. “I could never… if you ever…” His voice broke, not being able to deliver the painful words. “I’m not going anywhere Ben.” She smiled comfortingly, letting her fingers run through his wild hair. The boy leaned forward pressing his wet lips to her forehead, “I can’t lose you Athena.” His voice was stern, determined and almost threatening, but she dismissed it more worried about the tears still falling down his cheeks. His face covered by his black hair fell down, resting against their intertwined hands. “I know Ben, I know.” _

Athena jumped back to see herself still standing in front of the fogged up mirror, finger still loosely trailing the rim of her scar.  _ Was that a memory? How was she remembering? _ She closed her eyes, feeling the boy’s lips graze across her forehead. She could not connect the young boy to Kylo, yet there was no denying they were the same person, or once were. It felt too unrealistic to tell herself that the sweet crying boy was the monstrous murderer just a room away. What was more horrifying was how close they seemed as young adults, how drawn to him Athena was beginning to feel. None of it was making any sense and it was starting to sicken the girl. Releasing a deep sigh she exited to her room, seeing a few freshly picked stems of lavender placed on top of her clothing. She hesitantly approached the edge of the bed and reached for the tiny purple plant. A smile overcame Athena’s face at the intoxicating smell, she could not even help it. A distant sound of wind brushing through trees and water slowly lapping against the shore filled Athena’s ears, making the girl feel somewhere else. She could feel the warm setting sun on her skin, the smell of fresh lavender and cherry blossoms floating into her nose. She could hear a distant voice speaking to her, whispering her name. 

Out of shock, she dropped the stems of lavender, the sounds and sensations disappearing with it.  _ What was happening?  _ She needed to find answers. Hurriedly Athena put on the plain beige colored undergarments, black flowy pants, and a dark purple blouse, along with her black boots. The clothes contrasted sharply against her Resistance attire, even the First Order attire she had worn. The only true piece of her was found in the purple crystal that never left her neck. The clothes reminded her of the more formal clothing she had worn on Hosnian Prime, with the Strkyers. She was the “daughter” of the Senator after all, she had to look the part. Oh how she missed them, perhaps they were not her real family, but they had taken her in when Athena was only a shell of a person. They had helped her find her purpose, in helping others, and gave her a family. She only hoped that if she could discover who she truly was that they would still be looking upon her in pride wherever they now resided. Lingering for a moment, Athena took a deep breath attempting to gather her courage. Fear encasing her heart at the thought of her past finally being revealed, that had to be what Kylo would discuss with her, right? Who was she before? Was she the same or a completely different person? She closed her eyes willing away the fear, knowing she would never come to fear anything if she did not leave this room. Silently reassuring herself, Athena stepped out into the hallway and walked towards the main opening. Her boots slapping against the wood only adding to her nerves as she came to find the main living area empty, no sign of Kylo. Down the hall the blast door was open, a large boulder preventing it from closing, and Athena quickly realized why, heading outwards. She exited back outside in the beautiful garden, the bright light and vivid colors of the greenery making the whole scenery seem like nothing but a dream. Her eyes drifted across the land, enchanted by each blossoming flower and small tree, but her bright blue eyes caught something else in the mix. A dark figure standing down by the shoreline of the sparkling lake. Her feet lead the way down a stone path straight to Kylo, while Athena took the time to examine their hideaway. It was truly just a house, a white structure with rich blue trim detailing the outline of the house and around the windows. The house looked like a dream too, perhaps this was all just a dream. Athena laughed the idea away, her imagination was not this extensive or creative. Finally reaching the shoreline, Athena came to a stop besides Kylo, who was silently watching the water. His black hair had dried and instead of just a towel, he wore black pants and a dark navy blue sweater. He almost looked normal outside of his menacing Supreme Leader uniform. Her eyes trailed back up to his head, finding his eyes had turned away from the water and were now focused upon her. A twitch of his lips, an almost smile appearing on his face, as his hand extended down to caress her cheek. His rough calloused hand brought a rush of blood forward under her skin, painting them a faint pink, his touch erupting a fire in her she could not ignore. It was as if she was under a trance, under his spell, as she felt the allure to him, the need to trust and open up to him. “I think I remembered something.” She mumbled still enjoying his soft strokes. “You did?” He exclaimed faltering in his motions. Athena lifted her hand up to once again trace her burn mark, “I remembered after I got this… the Infirmary...” She trailed off watching the guilt cloud his eyes. “It seemed like an accident, I don’t remember what caused it, but you were so worried after… so distraught.” She added remembering the crying boy, deep down a part of her could feel his pain, as if it were her own. “I never forgave myself for that day. We had practiced countless times before and one misstep and I hurt you in exchange.” Athena’s eyebrows knitted together, what had they been practicing? “From what I remember, it was no one’s fault, a simple accident.” Kylo only shook his head, “No, if I had been an inch closer I would’ve killed you.” 

“Well I’m alive so…” She laughed trying to comfort him, lifting her hand cautiously to his face. His stare intensified as he looked down upon her, making the girl almost squirm uncomfortably. 

“Do you remember anything else from my visit to the Infirmary?” He questioned a glimmer of hope sparkling in his warm eyes. “No? Should I?” Kylo chuckled lightly, the apples of his cheeks tinting a slight darker shade, “No I suppose not, not yet at least.” Athena retracted her hand and pondered his words, she could not remember anything else after his confession. “Oh I found bandages as well.” Kylo announced retrieving a small bundle of beige wrapping from his other hand. His eyes looked to hers, then flickering down to her side, and back up questioningly. Athena let out a sigh of defeat, “Be quick with it.” Turning her head to watch the lake, she lifted the right side of her blouse revealing her wound to Kylo. She vaguely saw him lower himself to one knee, his hands faintly skimming against her skin, particularly an old scar from a rough landing with Poe long ago. His thumb ran over the healed skin multiple times, before snapping himself out of his trance. Finally looking to her red and scabbing blaster wound, his hands moved to wrap the bandages around it tightly. The wind skimmed across the surface of the lake, creating gentle waves, reminding her of the noises and sensations she heard when smelling the lavender. “There’s something about this place, something that is resurfacing parts of my past.” Athena confessed dropping her blouse back down to cover her abdomen, her blue eyes looking down to him questioningly. “I was hoping it would, that means they are in there still. It means I can get them back.” 

“They?” Kylo ignored her questioning, standing up and backing away from the lake and heading towards the garden. Athena stood there frozen, contemplating whether or not she should follow, until he turned around. “Do you want your memories back Athena?” Her breath hitched in her throat at his words. Was it possible? Did she want to remember? Of course, but why did she feel her stomach twisting itself into knots? Was she afraid of being disappointed in who she was before or perhaps hate who she had become? Athena nodded, her mind too busy to form a coherent sentence. Kylo’s hand extended outwards and Athena graciously took it, her nerves bursting with electricity at the contact. She wanted to know who Athena Jinn was and maybe her past could light the way to who Athena Stryker was meant to be. The two walked at a brisk pace back into the garden following a different path away from the door into the house, the silence guiding them, and her hand still clasped tightly in his. Kylo came to an abrupt stop, causing Athena to slam into his hard back, lose her footing, and land on the plush grass. “Athena!” Kylo whipped around searching her for any sign of an injury. His serious expression broke when Athena began to giggle, extending her hand out to him for help. Kylo let out a small chuckle, pulling her up and into his chest, the electrical current imbedded in her bloodstream warming her skin at their close proximity. “You were always so clumsy.” He whispered, his warm breath fanning over her flushed face. He held her close as Athena lost herself in his addicting scent, cedarwood, cloves, and lavender. It was nothing like the bar of soap on the Star Destroyer, this was enticing, he was enticing. The two held eye contact, both lost in the depths of each other’s eyes. How could Athena have forgotten such beautiful brown eyes? “Athena” he whispered, to which she only hummed out a response, still hypnotized by him. Kylo cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from her, breaking the spell. “You need to close your eyes and clear your mind.” Athena swallowed thickly and followed his instructions. With her eyelids shut and purely listening to the rhythm of her heart, she let Kylo guide her to sit down on a cool stone slab, a bench. Her hands instantly gripped the edge in anticipation, her nerves making her heartbeat pick up. “I’ll try and make it as painless as possible, don’t forget I’ll be right here, okay?” She nodded silently, pressing her lips into a fine line, mentally bracing herself. She could hear Kylo back away silently and the movement of fabric before she suddenly felt a tug on her brain, eliciting a nervous exhale from her lips. The tug intensified and Athena tightened her grip on the bench, trying to prevent any indication of the pain she was in.  _ This was worth it, she just had to fight through it _ . “Calm your mind Athena.” Kylo reminded and she inhaled deeply, listening to her rapid heartbeat. Her heartbeat quickened as another painful pull rippled through her mind. A whimper escaped her lips as a sudden burst of light illuminated inside her mind, an internal wall crumbling down. 

“Athena?” 

  
  



	7. The Tragedy of Athena Jinn

Athena’s eyes fluttered open to the sound of the man whispering her name. Her eyes wide open, untrained, and filled with tears. A tidal wave had crashed over her, returning her past as if it had never left. 

_ She was in a brightly lit meadow, the sun casting a warm halo around a man and woman, who sat contently behind their house in the Nayli countryside. Their attention was captivated by the toddler, their daughter, who sat in front of them on the soft yellow blanket. Her blue eyes were wide as her chubby hands lifted a shiny rattle up into midair. _

_ A fire filled her vision next, smoke infiltrating the lungs of the four year old girl being rushed through the burning house by her frantic father. Once outside, her father placed her down on the grass, a safe distance away from the fire. “Stay here, I have to go find your mother!” The man instructed moving to leave, but the young girl’s tiny hand caught his. “No Papa please don’t leave me, I’m scared!” She sobbed. Another part of the house crumbled down in the background as her father stood frozen for a moment. He quickly retrieved a purple crystal from around his neck and placed the oversized necklace around his daughter’s neck. “Wear this it’s a Kyber Crystal, one like the Jedi’s used to use in the stories your mother and I told you. It will keep you safe until we return.” The child’s hand clamped around the crystal watching as her father ran back into the burning house, only to never return. _

_ The girl sat in a small white hospital room, any evidence of the fire being cleaned away as she now wore a white medical gown, the purple Kyber crystal still hanging from her neck. Tears streamed down her face, she knew her parents were gone, and she was all alone. A woman with fair skin, warm gentle eyes, and her dark hair braided up entered the room sometime later. Her eyes traveled from the focused little girl to the floating syringe beside her, a knowing smirk forming on the woman’s face. “Hello dear, what’s your name?” The woman offered her a sincere smile, stepping closer. “Athena Jinn” The girl whispered, the syringe dropping in the background. The woman frowned, “My name is Leia Organa, can you say that?” The child smiled softly, “Lele.” Leia laughed, she supposed that was close enough. “Athena love, would you like to come home with me?” The girl nodded eagerly, perhaps this woman could provide her a new home, a new family. _

_ The woman with a long braid trailing down her back, Leia, carried the girl into a spacious looking condo overlooking the capital of Chandrila, Hanna City. “Leia you cannot seriously be thinking of taking her in?” A deep voice spoke causing the little girl to whimper, snuggling deeper into Leia’s shoulder. “I knew her parents, Mysa and Baron, it’s the least I can do. She’d be an orphan if I didn’t!” Two men sighed audibly and a large wookie mumbled incoherently as well. “There’s another reason though…” Leia moved to put the girl down on a soft white carpet where a black haired boy with brown eyes, looking to be a year older than her, played with levitating toy blocks. As soon as the girl sat next to the boy, her hand lifted and flew a blue block over to her. The boy’s head lifted, shooting her a glare to which she only giggled at. “She’s strong with the Force, Luke.” Leia said to the sandy blonde haired man. “You said Jinn?” Luke questioned. Leia only nodded and Luke let out a small laugh. “What’s funny kid?” the dark haired man asked. “She must be the ancestor of Qui-Gon Jinn, Old Ben’s master. His great niece or something! You have to keep her then…” The brunette man sighed once again, “Great another Force User, as if I wasn’t already outnumbered!” _

_ The girl, age six, woke in a dark room, a nightmare about her parents demise causing tears to fall thickly down her face. She quickly climbed out of her bed, her tiny legs carrying her to her sense of comfort. She looked out at the living room seeing the bustling nightlife of Hanna from the large open balcony, before entering the room next to hers. The boy was in his bed, tossing in his sleep, as the young girl approached his bed still crying. He suddenly woke from a sniffle, sensing her distraughtness in the Force. “Nightmare again?” He questioned rubbing his eyes, black hair messily splayed across the pillow. The girl only nodded and climbed into bed, into his open arms. “I’m sorry for waking you all the time Benny.” She whimpered in his embrace. “It’s okay that’s what I’m here for Ath, always.” _

_ The girl and Ben were three years older, running through the meadow of Naboo, visiting for a political meeting Leia had to attend. The family had escaped to the quiet fields one afternoon though. The little brunette girl was chasing the bouncing black curls of the boy. “Ben!” She called out, laughing, her smaller legs unable to keep up with the Ben’s long strides. His legs already growing longer than hers, it was not fair. Ben only chuckled teasing her, “Keep up Athena!” The girl huffed pushing her legs to go faster, leading her to take a misstep and go tumbling into the plush green grass. “Athena?” Ben halted before doubling back and diving into the grass beside the unmoving girl, lying face down in the grass. “Ben is she okay?” A woman’s voice called from up the hill. He rolled the girl over to see a sheepish smile on her face and the boy let out a sigh of relief. “I fell” She giggled and Ben with his warm eyes laughed in return. “So clumsy!” He pulled her back up to her feet before the same woman, Leia, shouted for them. “Kids come here, Han take a photo of us!” The children groaned to themselves, not another picture. “Coming Lele!” “Coming Mom!” _

_ “Can you hurry up?” Ben groaned watching as the girl fiddled with the wire paneling of the office door. “Can you give me a minute?” The girl rolled her eyes, keeping her attention on the multicolored wires. The two had been locked up in a stuffy office all day while Ben’s parents dealt with political problems, and it was time for a jail break. Rewiring a blue and red wire, the girl watched as the door flew open. “Ha take that Spaceboy!” Her teasing was cut short by C-3PO entering the room, clearly the reason why the door had truly opened. Ben gave her sly look and she pushed him out the door past the gold droid. “Go Ben go!” The girl shouted as the two ran through the hanger and out onto the landing strip, heading for the fastest piece of junk in the galaxy. “Young Solo, Miss Jinn where do you two think you are going?” C-3PO called out to the mischievous children. Ben only smirked to the girl as they raced up the ramp and into the cockpit. He slid into the pilot seat and she into the co-pilot. Oh Han would regret teaching these two partners in crime how to fly. Barely being able to see over the dash the two took off in the Falcon for a joyride. When they returned later, the Falcon covered in branches, Leia and Han with their arms crossed and faces red with anger awaited them. “Oh we’re so screwed” Both children uttered. _

_ Months later the children would find themselves back on the Falcon, with nervous expressions and intertwined hands trying to find comfort in one another. “They’re only sending us away because of me.” Ben mumbled, his inky black curls moving to hide his face. “No they want us to become Jedi’s, to master the Force!” The girl corrected, an excited expression taking over her face. She would become a Jedi, like the ones her parents told stories about. He only shook his head, “N-No… my p-parents are scared, scared of m-me, of this part hidden in me.” The girl’s smile dropped, eyes widening at his words. Squeezing her best friend’s hand, she urged him to look at her. His warm brown eyes held a look of sadness and fear, bottom lip trembling slightly. “Well I’m not Ben.” _

_ The girl and Ben were two years older dressed in variating shades of brown robes. Ben, had short black hair and a small braid trailing down his shoulder, was now officially a teenager as they sat cross legged on opposite sides of the room. Master Luke had to split them up, the two were always causing distractions during lessons. They were supposed to be meditating, searching the Force, but the two friends only continued to steal glances at each other, something strange and unfamiliar twisting its way into their stomachs. _

_ Ben was meditating in his hut when the girl bursted through the entrance obviously excited. “C’mon Spaceboy its time!” Ben popped open one eye, glancing over at her. He was mildly annoyed with her for disturbing his meditation, but her grinning face seemed to diminish his irritation. “I’m coming, I’m coming!” He stood and the two walked out to the overgrown field just beyond the temple and huts, their place. Sitting down beside each other, the young padawans watched as the sun set beyond the ridge, their hands merely touching in the grass. _

_ The girl clad in nothing more than a white nightgown and tears exited her tiny hut and walked to the one a tad further from the temple. Inside the other hut, lanky teen Ben awaited her on his cot, eyes turning sincere as she entered. “Are you okay?” He whispered already shifting over in his small cot. “N-No” She choked out, lying down beside him. “Do you want to talk about it?” She shook her head, “No, just hold me.” Ben awkwardly wrapped his arms around her, her head resting against his bony chest. Feelings inside them both beginning to awaken as they fell back to sleep. _

_Another year had passed and the girl now 14, with a thick braid trailing down her back wielding her purple lightsaber. Master Luke had thought the color odd, the color symbolizing a connection to both sides of the Force, and the girl purely exhibited the Light side. But she had been drawn to it because of her father’s necklace which she could not part with. Or perhaps it was a possible indication of what her future held. Ben, 15, stood confidently across from the girl wielding his blue lightsaber. His hair was becoming longer, padawan braid becoming lost in the sea of curls, and he had grown beginning to tower even more over the girl. They grinned cockily at each other as they lined themselves up for a training session. They were the strongest amongst the group of padawans, in combat and in mastering the ways of the Force; Therefore the perfect partners, the perfect challenge as they continued to grow stronger. Ben striked first obviously impatient, but the girl easily deflected the advance with her saber. She went to strike back but he was too quick, moving swiftly to the side. The girl groaned repositioning herself for __the next move._ _Ben swiped at her once again but she ducked and rolled off to the side. She quickly stood back up with a slight smirk plastered across her face. With black hair covering most of his eyes, Ben sent a playful smile her direction which she rapidly dismissed leaping forward to steal a strike. He didn’t seem to catch onto her plan, seemingly too distracted by something else, causing her to tackle him to the ground. Ben groaned looking up at the girl smiling down at him, her saber merely inches from his neck. “Gotcha Spaceboy.” His face turned a bright shade of red, his words seeming to be stuck in his throat. “I hate you.” He finally choked out, a flustered expression still on his features. “I know.” _

_ The two, another year older, climbed into an old Tandem X-Wing. They had successfully convinced Master Luke to allow them to go to Chandrila for a grand ball Leia was hosting. They just had to be back within two day cycles and were not allowed to tell any of their fellow peers, which was not a concern. Ben did not talk to anyone really and although the girl was friendly with her peers, she stuck with her partner in crime. They’re had been some sort of tension rising within the New Republic though, something Leia nor Master Luke would tell them about, but the ball was being thrown in an attempt to regain back the New Republic’s favor. The girl leaned forward in her seat, placing her chin on the handsome boy’s shoulder, his eyes locked tightly on the vast darkness of space ahead. He was a terrific pilot at such a young age, taking after his Father, Uncle, and apparently his Grandfather. His Grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, was once a powerful Jedi Knight before being murdered by Darth Vader. Master Luke always told them stories about him, stories he had been told by the man Ben was named after. He always seemed to be saddened by the stories of his murdered Grandfather and his Grandmother who died after childbirth. Ben missed them, even if he had never met them. “We’re almost there.” He mumbled and the girl smiled, they were almost home. _

_ Landing in Hanna, the two were greeted by Leia, her eyes watering as they fell on the two children before her. In fact, they were not children anymore, instead transitioning into beautiful young adults. She had not seen them in five years, only ever seeing the occasional hologram. “Ben!” She grinned excitedly pulling her towering son into a tight embrace. Ben laughed hugging his mother back, “Hi Mom!” Leia pulled back and held her son’s face in her hands, examining all the new little details and changes occurring on his face. The girl knew Leia saw it too, he looked like his Father… “Hi Lele.” The girl spoke up from the side, her large smile never fading. Leia released Ben and turned to her, pulling her into a tight hug. “Athena dear, my goodness how beautiful you are becoming as well!” The girl giggled into the embrace as Ben questioned, “Is Dad here?” Leia pulled back from the hug and frowned. “No he had business he had to attend to, he’s sorry he couldn’t be here Ben.” Ben stiffened and nodded slowly, his eyes glazing over. “Well,” The girl cleared her throat, “We should go get ready for the ball, I don’t believe Jedi robes are considered appropriate for tonight’s festivities.” Leia nodded and ushered them off, watching as the girl silently comforted her son, something odd transpiring in the Force around them. _

_ The ball had officially commenced and the event center overlooking the city was filled to the brim with people dressed in elegant wear. The girl nervously walked around the dancing couples, picking at the seam line of her mauve colored dress. Leia’s handmaids had transformed the young padawan into a princess: with purple vines painted up her cheeks, white gardenias and lavender woven into her tightly curled hair, and flowers and vines embroidered into the mauve colored dress. She looked like a child of spring. Eyes followed her as she moved throughout the ballroom, hers only searching for one. And there he was across the room, in dark blue robes, brown eyes wide and already locked on her. His wild hair was tamed and sleek, his red tipped ears poking out slightly as he stalked across the floor to her. He stopped in front of her and the girl’s heart rate picked up, he was becoming outrageously handsome, it was not fair for her best friend to be so… distracting. “Dance with me.” Ben blurted out, hand restlessly tugging at the high neck of his blue tunic. “Of course.” She smiled and the two awkwardly stuttered into the flow of the dancing couples. “You look stunning, if it wasn’t obvious.” The girl blushed fiercely head dropping in an attempt to hide from his prying eyes. “Thank you Benny, you look handsome as well!” His cheeks flushed a bright red and he dropped his head as they continued to waltz. “What are these white flowers? They smell beautiful.” He mumbled into the crown of her head. “Gardenias, my parents used to grow them by the house in Nayli. They are supposed to represent pure love.” Ben pulled back slightly, smirking down at her, making her heart rate pick up once more. He was close, too close for them to be just friends. “Is that so?” _

_ The pair were back at the Jedi Temple, age 17 and 16, smirking confidently at each other as they positioned themselves for another fight. Their power only continued to grow, and they had an ongoing wager on who would win, both of them the strongest padawans especially together. With quick strategic movements the two danced around the training room as other padawan’s watched curiously, despite their apprehension of Ben. He moved with such agility, it left the girl a little breathless as they kept deflecting each other’s strikes. Suddenly as the girl stepped back her ankle rolled, causing her to lose her footing. Not being quick enough to deflect the impending attack from Ben, a scream pierced through the previously focused and tranquil atmosphere. The girl crumbled to the ground in agony, her hands flying up to her neck only to instantly cry out again. Ben dove to the floor, their lightsaber’s long forgotten. “A-Ath, I-I’m so s-sorry!” Master Luke rushed over alongside other students, quickly examining the singed skin on her neck. “Bring her to the infirmary now!” Ben with tears streaming down his pale face, pushed away the other students and lifted the girl himself. “Nephew.” Master Luke warned sensing the fear and self-hatred rising in him. He simply ignored his uncle watching the girl’s eyes flutter shut, lightheaded due to the movement and the white hot pain radiating from her neck. “It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay.” Ben reassured more to himself than her as he carried his best friend to the infirmary. _

_ The next memory, Athena had seen it before, but there was more to it than she had previously seen. The girl was lying in the infirmary bed once again, and Ben’s head was still pressed against their intertwined hands, sobbing. “Ben,” She whispered to the clearly distraught boy, “Look at me.” His head slowly raised to latch onto her own watery blue eyes. “I-I’m in love with you.” She whispered, cheeks burning. Ben inhaled sharply, pushing himself out of his chair to hover over her. A large smile broke across his tear streaked face, “I’m in love with you too.” He quickly pressed his lips to hers, both forgetting the sacred code of the Jedi. A Jedi will not know love, will not be involved in romantic relationships, as it will only prove to be a distraction. Their sweet innocent kisses grew heated, the girl sitting up to remove his tunic, hers soon following. They broke their kiss at the removal of their shirts and the boy whispered, “I love you.” His sweet eyes were hooded in love, lust, and amazement as he stared down at the girl. “I love you more.” She gleamed pulling him back into a feverish kiss, a silent vow being passed between their shared breaths and confessions. Their love was worth living in secrecy over… _

_ Pressed against the side of the temple, the girl and Ben stole quick kisses in between lessons. “Ben we have to go before someone notices we’re gone.” She giggled as he pressed his lips all over her neck and face. “No, we can spare another minute.” He mumbled against her skin before pressing another chaste kiss to her lips. “Ben Solo! Where are you? Don’t make me hologram your mother!” Master Luke shouted from somewhere, causing Ben to groan dropping his onto her white clothed shoulder, a string of incoherent words tumbling from his lips. “I forgot I have my private lesson today…” He lifted his head displaying his bottom lip jutted out in a pout. “Go” The girl giggled, “before we get caught, or worse he calls Leia and she chews both of our ears out.” Ben laughed, “The latter sounds worse.” She giggled agreeing as he pressed his lips to hers one last time. “I’ll come find you after.” Ben whispered, his hot breath fanning across her face, before parting. _

_ Months later the two sat stiffly in an empty classroom, guilt and nerves etched onto their faces as a furious Master Luke stood before them. They had been caught, caught in a compromising position that clearly stated they were romantically involved, the biggest no in the Jedi Code. “How could you two be so careless? You both know the Jedi are not allowed to have partners, let alone be involved in such activities as you two were!” The girl and Ben both ducked their heads, blushing at the fact they had been caught during one of their nightly secret hut rendezvouses. “Children can you please excuse the two of us for a moment?” Leia’s voice rose from her hologram placed directly in front of them. Not needing to be told twice, Ben and the girl rushed out of the room, stopping outside the door threshold to eavesdrop. “Leia why are you not furious? They are jeopardizing their ability to become Jedi!” His sister sighed, “I’m not mad Luke, that’s why. I think you should allow them to continue being together.” Ben and the girl’s head whipped to look at each other, surprised by Leia’s words. Apparently they weren’t the only ones. “What? Why?” Luke demanded confused. “Luke they will continue regardless of your advisory and remember our parents. Who married in secret, who’s secrets were their demise. Please I beg you don’t let that happen to my boy. Don’t let that happen to Athena.” Luke let out a frustrated sigh, fisting his graying hair into his hand. “Fine, Fine! But no one else is to know of their relationship.” Luke reluctantly agreed. Ben and the girl outside the door let out a loud cheer as they embraced each other tightly. Leia laughed hearing them and Luke groaned, already regretting his decision. “You two also need to be taking precautions, I don’t want to be a grandmother yet!” Leia called and Ben’s face burned bright red. “MOM!” _

_ Kisses were being peppered across Ben’s exposed skin as he carried the girl on his back, heading to the quiet fields ahead. The sun was touching the horizon as the day came to an end, soft pastels painting the sky and clouds. Ben squatted down once he arrived at their spot, letting down the girl. The two sat, the girl placing herself between Ben’s legs, her blue eyes watching the sunset with immense happiness. “So beautiful.” She traced the swirls of lilac woven into the pink sky with her index finger. “You are.” Ben whispered pressing a kiss to her hair, eliciting a small snort from the girl. The two watched the setting sun for awhile, enjoying the tranquility of the evening when Ben spoke up once again. “Will you marry me?” The girl jumped in his arms spinning to look at him, wide eyed. “What?” Ben’s face flushed immediately, “I mean I don’t have a ring, but marry me?” The girl gawked for a moment, her mind unable to process fully. “We’re so young though…” “So, you’re the one. My grandfather was nineteen when he married my grandmother. I’m 18 what’s the big difference?” The girl’s face broke into a large smile as she turned fully, straddling his lap. “I’m the one?” She whispered hands lifting to hold Ben’s cheeks. “You always have been. You and I were written in the stars, brought together by the Force.” The girl giggled, “Such a poet Mr. Solo.” He snickered lightly, still waiting for her response. “Yes, of course.” She answered finally. Ben’s grinned so widely, pulling her down into a messy kiss. “Shit,” Ben breathed when they parted for air, “I’m going to need to find a ring.” _

_ “Athena wake up.” Ben whispered one night, weeks later. “Hmm what?” The girl shifted in her small cot, seeing Ben fully dressed in his darkest robes, kneeling down beside her. “If we leave now, we’ll be back before dawn. No one will know, not even Luke.” The girl blinked heavily, pushing away the sleep still clinging to her. “Leave to where?” She questioned, puzzled. “To get married.” Ben smiled, as if it was obvious. “Oh you were serious about that?” The girl joked, pushing her blanket off. Ben scoffed helping her stand as he did. “What about the rings? And a dress? Witnesses? Ben what about all of that?” She questioned looking into her love’s eyes. “You’re lack of faith in me is disturbing. I have it all figured out don’t worry about it.” The girl narrowed her eyes, observing him. “Okay let’s go!” Ben grinned and pulled her out of the hut and towards the old Tandem X-Wing. _

_ The sound of wind brushing through trees and water slowly lapping against the shore filled the girl’s ears as she walked towards the balcony overlooking the endless blue of the Naboo lake. The place she had loved so much as a child and now she would be wedded here. At the place where Ben’s grandparents had secretly sworn their endless love to each other and now she would do the same. The ivory dress, with white flowers blooming throughout the body and sleeves, blew gently in the warm breeze as she walked towards her fate. She grinned to herself in excitement with nerves filling her to the brim as she thought of their secret wedding about to take place. It was simply beautiful in Naboo: she could feel the warm setting sun on her skin, the smell of cherry blossoms floating through the air, and the gentle warm breeze flowing through her. A crown of white gardenias and lavender was placed on top of her ivory lace veil and her purple kyber crystal still hung from it’s usual spot. She could feel it in the Force, in a way, her parents were with her. _

_ The girl looked up to Ben, who grinned whole heartedly down at her. Their hands intertwined as the Minister asked them to recite the vows of unity. Ben and the girl in synchronization recited, “My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.” The girl’s blue eyes filled with tears as they placed the delicate silver bands onto their ring fingers. “I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.” Ben eagerly swept the girl into his arms and bent down placing a sweet passionate kiss to her lips. The Minister excused himself as the two broke away. “My wife, Athena.” Ben breathed out testing the word for the first time. “My husband.” The girl whispered back, grinning. C-3PO congratulated them but the two ignored their one witness, only focusing on each other. “How did you find this lovely gown?” She questioned her husband. “I had some help.” Ben smiled looking over to the woman standing next to C-3PO, his mother. Leia approached them, tears in her eyes, “As much as I would love for you two to stay longer so we could celebrate, you have to go before Luke finds out you left, and find a way to hide those.” She pointed to their left hands adorned with a silver wedding band. The couple nodded saying their goodbyes before running back to the X-Wing, hand in hand. _

_ “Would you stay still?” The girl groaned trying to remain still, but her back was starting to kill her. “How much more do you have to do?” She questioned Ben, who sat to her side, illustrating her portrait into a large piece of parchment. “Not much, now stay still.” He responded eyes flickering up to study another area of her face. “You’re lucky I love you.” The girl mumbled observing the black leather necklace that hung from Ben’s neck, holding and concealing his wedding ring underneath his brown tunic. A similar necklace hidden under her tunic as well. They had been married for 3 months and Leia had kept their secret, vowing that she only wanted them happy. Ben snickered, the ink from his pen gliding perfectly against the piece of paper as he continued to commit her image. “I know.” _

_ “Ben talk to me.” The girl pleaded as her husband’s screaming woke them both up in her tiny hut one night. He had been distant lately and the girl was unsure why. She could feel this other side of him edging it’s way closer and closer to the surface, but she was unsure what it even was. His nightmares seemed to consume him every night, dark circles starting to form around his eyes. “It was you, you died.” The girl nodded slowly not showing any sign of being bothered by his words. “How?” Ben only shook his head, “I’m not sure it was blurry, but you were crying and there was smoke… but that’s not the worst part.” The girl’s hand rubbed up and down Ben’s back soothingly, silently asking him to continue. “You were being carted through the streets of Hanna. Your skin was pale, flowers placed in your hair, your whole body l-lifeless.” Ben shuddered at the thought, tears slipping down his cheeks. “Love, I’m not going anywhere.” She comforted wrapping her arms around his shaking frame. “I know, I will protect you. I promise.” Ben stated coldly into the quiet night. _

_ The girl and Ben, now 19 and 18, walked across the vast fields of the planet. “Ben where are we going?” The girl groaned, not being able to see behind Ben’s large hands, that covered her eyes and most of her face. We’re almost there, patience my wife.” He laughed at her impatience. She sighed annoyed but allowed him to continue to lead her to the unknown destination. “Okay stop, but no peeking!” Ben instructed after another 10 minutes. The girl felt his hands leave her eyes but she kept her eyes closed as told. She could smell the sweet smell of multiple flowers and the faint sound of lapping water. “Keep your eyes closed.” He reminded her sounding farther away. The girl heard the sound of a swoosh, like a door opening, before warm calloused hands grabbed hers, guiding her forward. After a moment Ben stopped, “Open.” He was close enough that the girl could hear his racing heartbeat pounding inside his chest. Slowly opening her eyes, a wide open living space greeted her. There was a kitchen on the side, a hallway behind them and another long hallway in front of her. “Ben where are we? Who’s house is this?” Ben let out an uneasy laugh, “Um, it's ours.” The girl whipped around with wide eyes, looking to the smiling boy. “What?” She questioned, a smile erupting across his face. “It’s our house, the original owners have long abandoned it. Master Luke said after we are done training we can live here. Think of it, we will be Jedi Masters, training padawans, going on missions around the galaxy.” The girl grinned, letting out a small squeak of excitement, before rushing around the house to examine it. It needed some work but nothing too bad, surprisingly, but she had a suspicion that Ben had been fixing the place up. The girl stopped by a large window beside the kitchen, observing the quiet terrain surrounding the house. “No neighbors? You can’t even see the temple from here.” She felt Ben quietly step up behind her, moving her hair to the side. He planted soft open mouth kisses down her neck, “No one to hear us.” His voice came out huskily and the girl turned to face him with a smirk on her lips. “Ben Solo you are positively evil.” Ben laughed, “That’s why you love me.” She scrunched her nose up, “An argument could be made.” Ben went to argue but she quieted his words by placing a feverish kiss to his waiting plump lips. He kissed her back immediately, their kisses soon becoming sloppy and needy. “I love you Athena, more than anything.” _

_ The next images were familiar, the setting of a nightmare. Ben had not come over to the girl’s hut that night, instead falling asleep in his own hut. She was worried about him, more nightmares and dark thoughts were plaguing Ben. He had even begun to express his doubt over what his place was in all of this. The girl just hoped that her love would be okay… The girl jolted awake to the sound of screams and the smell of smoke. Grabbing her lightsaber, the girl rushed out of her hut, seeing the main Jedi Temple on fire in the background. Her eyes were automatically drawn to the bodies lying in the field, slaughtered in cold blood. She stood frozen, what was happening? She could hear screams within the Temple and immediately began to run to help, but she was yanked back by a shadowy figure causing her to drop her lightsaber. “Ben! We need to help them!” She twisted around his arms to see blood smeared on his one cheek and how disheveled looking he was. There were tears wind whipped and dried on his cheeks, leaving behind a streaky mess. “Benny?” The girl questioned fearful of the dark glimmer in his eyes. “Athena we don’t belong here.” The girl went to cut him off but he shouted at her, “Let me finish!” She was frightened, this was not her Ben. “Luke tried to kill me, he sensed my power, my strength, our strength! We were a threat to him!” Ben exclaimed, looking back to his destroyed hut. Were? “Are you hearing yourself? This is your Uncle, Ben.” The girl tried to reason with him, but he would not hear it. “They’ve been lying to me about everything. You know my grandfather, the great Anakin Skywalker who was murdered by Darth Vader? He wasn’t!” The girl’s eyebrows furrowed, what did he mean? “Anakin Skywalker was Darth Vader! One of the most powerful Sith Lords to live, and I have that blood in me.” The girl shook her head in disbelief, was Ben really related to Darth Vader? How had he even come to find out about this? Why had everyone lied to them?“Join me, my love.” Ben pleaded still having a firm grip on her upper arms. “You know I can’t follow, I can’t, we can’t!” The girl pulled against his grip but it only tightened making her grit her teeth. “I have and you can too. I can protect you.” The girl shook her head violently, tears pouring down her crimson cheeks. “I can’t follow you, you know that.” Ben huffed out frustrated, releasing his hurtful grip on her arms to push his hair out of his face. She backed away slowly until she heard the loud pleas coming from the temple once again. She turned to run but a hand grasped her once again. “No Athena, I can’t lose you too!” Ben pleaded sorrow plaguing his eyes. “I’m sorry Ben, but you already have.” The girl trembled as the words fumbled out of her mouth. Her hand reaching up to yank off the second black necklace she wore. “N-NO!” Ben choked out, but it was too late. The girl handed him the necklace holding her wedding ring, before she pulled herself free of his grip. She was angry, upset, and regretted her actions but she could not focus on that as she ran inside the burning building. Inside the burning temple, smoke filled her lungs and vision. She was not inside long before an awful loud rupture blared over the sound of crackling fire. She looked up to the ceiling, panic filled her bones, knowing what was to come. “Athena!” A pain filled voice cried outside, just in time as the roof collapsed, caving in on top of her. _

_ The girl stirred against the hard platform, her eyelids and lungs feeling heavy. “I don’t know R2, she just shut herself out of the Force, I can’t sense her anymore. That’s why she must forget, it's the only way to keep her safe from him. Set course for the Hosnian system, she will be safe amongst the Republic.” The girl coughed, eyes fluttering open for a moment blinded by the bright light, “Master Luke?” She heard shuffling and then a shadow appeared in her eyes, blocking out some of the light. “Master Luke, where’s Ben? Is he okay?” The shadow let out a deep pained sigh, “Shush dear everything’s okay, close your eyes and rest. Everything will be okay.” _

_ The last two memories were not hers, Athena knew that, yet despite that they entered her mind. Ben was covered in smoke and tears in the bedroom of the house, the house he had gotten for him and the girl. “She’s gone, She’s gone, She’s gone!” He repeated over and over again, losing control at the end. He had tried to run after her, but the roof caved in before he could enter. Now she was gone, he could not feel her in the Force anymore. Her pure light energy was gone, replaced by a hollow feeling inside. The tears poured down his face as he let out a shriek filled with anger and devastation. Ben retrieved his lightsaber from his side, igniting it. The blue light illuminated his sorrow filled face as he let the rage take a hold of him. He began slashing the corner of the wall in the bedroom, before eventually collapsing to the floor in exhaustion. His trembling hands reached out to collect her grey and black lightsaber from the floor and the black necklace with her small silver band tied to the end of it. Ben held the items in his hands as his sobs continued to shake him to his core his mind racing around one single thought, his love was gone. _

_ The next one, Ben was clad in all black robes on his knees in tears, staring out at the blackness of space. The setting around him began to fade and shift into what he was weeping over. Two coffins being carted through the dark streets of Hanna. Hundreds surrounded the coffins and horses, carrying flickering candles, mourning the loss of the two Chandrila children. In one coffin a hologram of Ben Solo laid lifeless dressed in dark blue robes and covered in white flowers. In the next coffin was the girl in a dark purple dress. Her hair was adorned in lilacs, lavender, and white gardenias, just like Ben’s nightmare. She looked beautiful just as he remembered her, but the color to her skin was gone. She was just as lifeless as he felt. Ben hiccuped feeling a shaky hand being placed on his shoulder. He looked up and through his veil of tears he saw his mother standing beside him. She was crying watching the coffins moving slowly through the quiet streets, silently comforting her son, despite all that had happened. Leia knew her son was not dead, she knew he had turned and caused the destruction of the new Jedi. Her hand swiftly was removed and the image began to fade, Ben back on the Star Destroyer. He quivered, clenching his gloved fists as he felt the darkness inside rise. His love was gone and he blamed Luke Skywalker. Ben swore he would find him and destroy him, as another realization dawned upon him. Just as Hanna was being led to believe, Ben Solo was dead. _

Athena looked ahead, her face soaken and her body trembling. “Athena?” The man asked once again crouching down to her level. Her blue eyes fell onto him, inhaling sharply. “B-Ben?” His warm eyes filled with tears and hope, “Yes, it’s me! It’s Ben, your Ben… your Ben.” He trailed off pushing her hair back behind her ears and settling them on her cheeks. Athena’s heart was pounding in her chest as her mind tried to process everything, it was all too much to handle, to bear. The girl was her, Kylo was Ben, her Ben. The fire flashed in her mind, then the massacred students, his dark rage burning inside. “N-No, no, you’re not!” She sobbed out pushing his hands off of her face. “You’re not him! Ben Solo is dead!” Athena screamed standing up abruptly. He stood with her trying to grab ahold of her, trying to calm her down. Athena’s eyes fluttered shut remembering the shared kisses, shared embraces, their unclothed bodies moving together in such synchronization. It was all too much she could not keep it in. She was a volcano about to erupt. “D-Don’t touch me!” Athena’s hands stretched out to push him off, but instead a power, a force, inside of her sent him flying backwards. Kylo was ten feet away on the ground, looking up at her bewildered, a part of her now unlocked like her past. Without so much as a second thought, Athena took off running back into the house and into her room. Her name was Athena Jinn, she remembered who she was, she remembered the love, happiness, and pain. She wished she could forget again.

  



	8. A Faded Tombstone

Athena felt as if she was poisoned. She was tainted with the only thing she had ever wanted and what most people would kill to forget, memories. Sobbing into the comfort of the bed, she allowed herself to relive every memory that had returned. Her sweet parents perishing before her very eyes. General Organa practically raising her. If it had been another time, under different circumstances she would have laughed. The truth had been so close, within arms reach the whole time. But the cost of replaying those memories, was  **him** . Athena could feel every touch, every kiss, every single nerve being ignited when that monster had touched her. She could feel the inner conflict, her emotions trying to contradict themselves. The young naive girl who was hopelessly in love with the black haired boy and the strong Resistance fighter who viewed that man as the enemy, were fighting for dominance within. She was suffocating, her lungs were heaving against her chest as a storm wreaked havoc inside her mind. Squeezing her eyes shut, she begged for silence. She hiccuped harshly, that monster’s sweet brown eyes circled around in her storm. “P-Please make it go away…” She whimpered into the quiet confines of the room. As if her pleas were heard, Athena’s sobs began to quiet down, her mind falling into a false sense of tranquility. Before she drifted off into sleep, she felt another presence, someone suffering as well. 

Kylo shuttered when he entered the house, hearing sobs echoed throughout. With a sigh of defeat, he slumped down onto the light blue couch, listening to the anguish in her cries. He could feel the disturbance in the Force; the fear, sorrow, and regret that enclosed around her aura. Kylo felt tears prick the corner of his eyes. He shook his head in disgust, what had he expected? That she would greet with open arms? That she would still want to be with him? That she would still love him? Athena Jinn had loved Ben Solo and Athena Stryker detested the forsaken Kylo Ren. They were not the same anymore, Athena Jinn and Ben Solo had died in the Jedi Temple Fire just as Chandrila was led to believe. Someone new had emerged from the flames that night, for the both of them. Yet he had been foolish enough to believe she would still love him after everything. He could not help the hope, the light, that blossomed inside him from the moment he laid eyes on her in the forest. Kylo still could not fathom that she was alive. He watched part of the temple crumble down on top of her, he felt her presence fade from existence, he watched her be carted through the streets of Hanna. He had mourned her every day, his anger and desire for revenge urging him to continue through all the pain. He suffered at the hands of Snoke, buried his pain to please his abusive Master, killed his own father, fought Rey, all to seek his revenge. 

And yet, his love was alive and within such close proximity the entire time. She had been right under his nose all this time and yet he had never sensed her. Kylo did not want to imagine all the times she could have died at the cause of his hands. She had been hidden in the mine on Crait during his face off with his uncle. She was on the main cruiser when his troops and him had attacked during their evacuation from their D’Qar base. She was one of the many pilots that had ambushed his squadron on Takodana, when he was searching for the BB unit. Kylo could not stomach the what if, the thought, if she had been on Hosnian during the cataclysm of the system. She was even friends with that Resistance pilot he had captured on Jakku, the one who escaped with the traitorous Stormtrooper, and yet he did not find her in his memories. It was as if she had been hidden from him, leaving no evidence behind that she ever survived. It must of been a punishment from the Maker or the Force, for all his sins, to have her so close, but never truly have her. Despite the horribly long absence, he still needed her. He needed her to breathe, to survive, to live. There had been so many mistakes in his life, choices he had made, but she was never one. Kylo closed his eyes trying to drown out her sorrow and find peace in his chaotic mind. 

_ “Ben! Oh Ben Solo!” Ben opened his eyes just in time to see Athena jumping on him. “It’s time to get your lazy ass out of bed!” She attempted to say sternly, but her smile broke through her weak facade. Ben grinned wiping the sleep lingering in his eyes, wanting to admire the exquisite girl above him. The early morning sun streamed into his hut, casting a beautiful golden halo onto her dark brown hair. Her blue eyes glowed in admiration and her smile illuminating her features even more so. Ben felt like he had been gifted with angel… “Lay with me?” He spoke up, voice raspy. He pulled on her arms causing her to collapse down into his embrace. “Ben!” She protested. “Five minutes!” Athena groaned as his arms tightened around her. She muttered a small “fine” and Ben grinned, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. She giggled pressing a longer kiss to his chapped lips. “What am I going to do with you, Spaceboy?” _

Athena stirred awake, groaning at the sight of the moonlight casting a pale white light across the otherwise dark room. She swung her feet off the bed, the momentum helping her rise. As she stood, a wave of weakness washed over her. Wincing Athena shuffled over to the drawers retrieving a large black sweater and soft black pants. Removing her clothes and bandages, she found her wound to be completely healed, a circular scar replacing it. How had it healed so quickly? She could not have been out for more than a day. Her head was pounding as she continued to dress, her mind completely numb. Her past had been restored but she only felt far more perplexed. Two lives now fought for control and she could not fully process it. Looking up she caught her reflection in the mirror above the dresser. She did not recognize herself, once again; her face was drained of all color, eyes dark and puffy, her cheeks hollow. She looked as unwell as she felt. Grabbing a hair tie from the nightstand, her fingers weaved through her hair, mindlessly forming a loose braid. She draped a black robe, one she found in the small wardrobe, over her aching body. She moved to the other side of the room, cracking open her window, hesitation finally halting her movements. Where was she going? Deep down she knew where, but she could not bring herself to admit it. Climbing out of the window and jumping down, Athena was greeted by the cool night sky. She pulled her hood up and over her head, letting instinct take over. It guided her up the hill on the right side of the house and through the quiet overgrown fields. She knew with an opportunity as such, that she should be searching for a way off this planet, but Athena needed to see  **it** . Trekking across the deserted lands, her mind wandered recalling moments that now made sense due to the light that had been shed on her past. Athena now understood why the General had seemed so taken aback at their meeting on Hosnian all those years ago. She understood why C-3PO stumbled over his words around her, why Han Solo and Chewbacca had looked at her with wide eyes. She understood why Leia had to pull them aside on D’Qar. She knew why Luke Skywalker had nodded at her on Crait, why Rey had been odd with her ever since their first meeting. They were all looking at a ghost.

A clearing came up ahead, the landscape shifting drastically. The bubble lodged in her throat grew as she stumbled forward to the blackened area. The grass was singed, black, and most of the huts were in ruins. Very little of the temple remained, looking to be only a pile of stones. Athena continued onwards, only stopping once she was directly in front of where a large boulder stood, with a thin layer of ash melted into it. Her trembling hand reached upwards to trace the grooves carved into it. 

_ “You better not drop me!” Athena warned as she climbed onto the shoulders of a crouched down Ben. His hands wrapped securely around her thighs as he stood back to his full height. “I’m not, relax Ath!” She sighed as he stepped closer to the large boulder, littered in names of their fellow peers. Athena leaned against the rock, raising the chisel and small hammer to it. “Don’t move unless you want your name to look bad!” Ben laughed underneath her as he looked above to watch her carve.  _

Athena’s fingers traced over the carvings on top of the rock that read, “Ben” and “Athena”. She had carved their names together at the top, away from the others. It had been an idea of Master Luke’s for all the padawans to carve their names into the boulder outside of the temple, signifying their unity and the rebirth of the Jedi. As her finger trailed down to trace over the other names, names of their deceased peers, she whimpered. A rock that once was to signify rebirth was now nothing more than a tombstone. Dropping to her knees, Athena clutched the cold dead grass.  _ “Ben! We need to help them!”  _ The broken plea rang in her ears and she winced recalling her nightmare turned memory. She hated, despised, loathed him but fuck was she in love with him. “No!” She growled out. Athena had loved Ben Solo, a padawan, not the mighty and forsaken Kylo Ren. Tears poured down her cheeks in an unstoppable flow. Closing her eyes, Athena allowed her moment of weakness, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop it. After all, she was truly as broken as she had always felt. 

When she eventually opened her eyes, the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon, casting her shadow onto the black grass. Wiping her eyes, Athena moved to stand back up although she froze on her left knee. Her gaze catching ahold of something green. In the dead center of the torched field was a small green sprout. It was tiny, signaling its newness to life. She could feel the strong energy flowing through the sprout and even underneath the charred greenery. After eleven years, the area was healing, reviving itself. Athena pondered why the sudden beginning of rebirth. 

Standing to her full height, Athena turned to find a dark figure observing. Her breath hitched in her throat, frightened. She was not scared of the man, oh no, she was scared of facing him. Athena still had not come to terms with her returned memories. She could not think of Ben and her, in love,  **married** … dear Maker she was married to the Supreme Leader of the First Order. “Did you follow me?” She questioned already knowing the answer, even if he did not, he knew where she would go. He nodded stiffly eyes never faltering from hers. “How long have you been standing there?” She shifted uncomfortably. Athena did not want him to see her in such a vulnerable state, that much had changed. “Long enough.” He mumbled barely audible. Athena felt her blood begin to boil feeling: exposed, broken, and angry all at once. “How could you have done this?” She pointed wildy behind her to the ruins of the new Jedi order. “How could you have killed our peers?” Her words felt as if they were laced with venom, but the only person she was poisoning was herself. More tears poured down her face despite her best efforts to hold it together. She was sick of crying, of being weak. Athena shakingly jabbed her index finger into her chest, “H-How could you have done this to m-me?” Kylo stepped forward cautiously but her head shaking profusely, stopped him. “I hate you!” She screeched. Kylo flinched but chose to continue towards her. “S-Stay away from me!” Athena felt dizzy, the ringing in her ears growing louder, the rage inside draining her. She lifted her fists once he stood a couple feet in front of her, and began pounding away at Kylo’s chest. With every thump against his chest Athena cried out, “Why?” She needed to know why. Why he would turn and abandon her, why he would destroy everything. He ruined everything because his uncle tried to kill him? She could not believe it, would not. 

Her knuckles throbbed when Athena stopped, after moments of sobbing and her inability to make Kylo even wince. She wanted him to feel her pain, but her attempts seemed to prove futile. Athena felt worse as her hands slid down Kylo’s chest, her head dropping against it in replacement. Kylo staggered a little, finally showing some sort of reaction at the sudden difference in contact. She fisted his black shirt in her hands. She could not handle the pain anymore, every memory only provided pain. Hiccuping, she felt strong arms wrap around her torso, relief instantly flooding her mind. The pain was numbed, the storm cloud dissipating in her mind. With her tear stained face, Athena looked up to Kylo’s watering eyes. He looked down at her softly, but there was pain evident. Perhaps he did feel her pain. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” His voice wavered as he attempted to comfort her. She only nodded, exhausted, and unwilling to fight. Kylo moved to cradle her back with one large hand, the other moving beneath her knees. He swept her up into his arms with ease and started their trek back to the house. Athena closed her eyes leaning her head against his chest. She listened to his soothing heartbeat, the curtain of sleep falling over her. 

  
  



	9. Noise

Athena stirred in her bed, sweat dripping down her forehead and making the fabric of her attire cling to her skin. She could not breathe, soft gasps sounding from her lips as she struggled. The chaos inside would not die down even in sleep. It was a constant battle for dominance, two people fighting, clawing to reach the surface. A whimper escaped in between her sharp inhales as the uproar continued to grow inside. She could not handle it anymore, she needed quiet. Athena recalled the early morning moment when  **his ** arms had wrapped around her, the relief it had provided her. Chasing that high, that burning need, she left her room in search of her salvation. She barely registered it was dark outside again or how cold she was in her simple black nightgown, a major change from the black sweater and pants she fell asleep in. Her brain hammered against her skull as she stared at the closed white door ahead. All voice of reason left her when she swallowed the lump in her throat stepping forward. Her movement caused the motion sensors to awaken and open the door. The noise urged Athena forward, tiptoeing in and stopping at the foot of the bed.

Before her, laid a dark sleeping figure, their mouth open ajar with soft spurts of air, barely audible, emitting from their lips. Athena bit her lip anxiously, her mind already quieting down just by the proximity of him. She stood still for a few minutes, hesitation gluing her in place. He looked just as he had when they were children and she would sneak into his room. So much had changed though. 

Suddenly the figure opened their eyes and lifted their head off the silky dark purple pillow. “Athena?” His raspy voice sliced through the quiet night, an elbow propping him up. Athena finally felt unfrozen and she trembled stepping forward. “Ben.” She whispered, climbing onto the other side of the bed. His dark eyebrows furrowed together in confusion from her actions, but he remained silent. Athena slid closer to him, weaving her arms around his bare torso. He tensed at the feeling, watching her lay her head down onto his chest. Slowly he laid back down, his black curls flopping against the silk. Athena let out a sigh of relief, the pain was gone, he was the remedy. “You make the noise go away.” She mumbled, his presence and warmth lulling her back to sleep. 

Poe was growing agitated. All his leads were going cold and his sources could not locate the Supreme Leader. All his informants could only report that Kylo Ren was not on any First Order base or ship and neither was his prisoner. It was like the man knew to run, to hide, and Poe had a sneaking suspicion on who tipped him off. To top it off, the General kept avoiding him. After her recent disclosure, Poe was left with only more concern. Athena was his best friend, besides for BB-8 or Finn, although Finn was something else entirely. He could not plan a top secret rescue mission if he did not know the location. He was becoming desperate and desperate times called for desperate measures. 

It was late on the Resistance Base, most of the crew now retiring for the evening. Poe sat at the small table, foot tapping impatiently as he waited. He liked to think of himself as a man of reason, but he needed answers. So his approach had to change a little. The door to the living quarters flew open revealing just the woman he wanted to see. “Dameron.” The General spoke calmly despite the unexpected visitor in her chambers. “Leia.” The woman sighed as she stepped inside eyeing the young man. “You’ve been avoiding me and I think it’s time for a little chat.” Poe nodded his head towards the chair across the table from him. She nodded obviously displeased, but moved to sit down. “What do you want to discuss?” The General questioned, but she knew already. Poe knew she did. “Oh you know, the little matter of Athena and your son.” Leia exhaled sharply rubbing at her forehead. “And I want everything.” The General lifted her eyes to him, “The truth is hard.” Poe went to protest, to convey that fact that he did not care, but he quickly shut his mouth. He watched the pained expression on her face, realizing the truth was not hard for him, it was painful for her. He remained silent as he waited, waiting for answers. “I knew Athena’s biological parents, they were advisors to the New Republic on Chandrila.” Poe stayed quiet, wishing for her to continue, internally processing the fact that the General had truly known Athena prior to her memory loss. Up until that moment, a part of him was still in denial. “When she was four, there was a horrible fire both of them perishing. I took Athena in as my own until her and Ben left to train with Luke.” Poe’s eyes bugged in shock. “Wait Athena’s -” Leia only nodded and silenced him. “Do you want me to continue or not?” Poe murmured incoherently under his breath, gesturing for her to go on. “There as padawans, descendants of two great former Jedi’s, their friendship transitioned into something more. I only witnessed it a few times, but it was beautiful.” Leia discreetly tried to clear her throat. He could see the shift in her, the difficult memories resurfacing with each word. “But it wasn’t enough, Snoke still seduced him. I-I didn’t know what to think, what to believe, I thought my son killed her that night. I mourned not one child but two. Chandrila and the galaxy was led to believe Ben died that night, only a select few originally knowing the truth.” Leia shook her head in annoyance, her eyes glassy. “Athena’s body was never retrieved for obvious reasons, so we used a hologram for her as well.” 

Leia fell silent allowing Poe to digest the information. Athena was a Force user, who was raised by the Organa-Solo family, trained by the legendary Luke Skywalker, and in love with the grandson of Darth Vader… It was a lot to absorb. “When I found Athena a year later on Hosnian begging to join the Resistance, something calling her to it, she had no memory of anything. I couldn’t bear to tell her. I couldn’t give her the pain of it all, so I kept silent to protect her.” Poe exhaled deeply running a hand through his messy curls. “It seems you really care for her Leia, but how could you let her stay with Ren? Why would you give him a heads up? Don’t even try to deny it, I know you did.” Poe stood from his seat, growing frustrated. The General only looked up to him with a challenging expression. “Yes Poe, why would I let the one thing my son truly loves, the person he thought was dead all these years stay with him? If there’s a chance he could change, put an end to this war, then it’s Athena! She’s the key!” Shaking his head dismissively, Poe moved towards the door hearing more than enough. The door shot open and Poe stepped out, a question eating away at his mind. He roughly grabbed ahold of the door frame turning back to face the General. “You would sacrifice her to end this?” Leia shakingly stood from the table facing the Wing Commander. “She’s in no danger. They’re safe somewhere far from the First Order, but this is the endgame Dameron. Sometimes you have to forfeit the Queen to win.” Poe shook his head in defiance, “I will find her with or without your help.” 

Warm sunlight infiltrated the large bedroom waking Athena. A soft moan slipped from her chapped lips as she stretched out, a satisfying pop coming from her hips. Her left hand sprawled out, patting the empty space next to her. Athena’s eyes fluttered open at that, finding no sign of anyone in the room. She pushed the silk sheet off of her and got out of bed, her bare feet cold against the floor. Rubbing her eyes, Athena caught sight of the dresser filled with picture frames face down. Curiously she shuffled over, peering over her shoulder to confirm she truly was alone before picking up one. The frame was a sleek black and it stood apart from the others, less dust collecting on top of it. She could even make out large fingerprints from where it had been picked up countless times. She knew the hologram, of course she did, she had placed it here after all. 

_ Ben had just returned from his private lesson with Master Luke, when he saw the young Padawan wading in the lake near their future home. "What are you doing?" Ben shouted over to her. "What does it look like?" Athena giggled swimming over to the edge. Ben met her at the edge looking down at the radiant girl. She was practically glowing with the sun glistening off the beads of water that were scattered across her smooth skin. "How was your training?" she smiled tilting her head up to see his grimacing face. "It was good. Master Luke was insightful as always." Athena could see the worry behind his eyes, knowing there was more to the story, but she knew when he was ready he would talk... "Come here" she hummed pushing herself up on the edge. Ben leaned in mindlessly, feeling her breath fan over his face. With her right hand still dripping, she moved Ben's dark hair out of his face placing her hand there instead. Ben sighed in content leaning into her hand more and more until a huge splash was heard. Wiping water out of her eyes, Athena looked to her side seeing a wet Ben with dripping hair covering his face. Athena laughed swimming over to the sulking boy. She pushed the hair out of his face, only to reveal Ben's plump bottom lip jutted out. Athena giggled pressing a quick wet kiss to his pout. "Did someone fall in?" She smirked watching the corners of Ben's mouth twitch up. "No..." He mumbled deepening his frown, "You pulled me in!" Athena gasped, "I did no such thing!" Ben grabbed ahold of her torso and pulled her into him. She wiggled trying to escape his tight grasp but she was laughing too hard. Ben smiled at her, breaking his facade. He leaned in pressing his cold lips to hers. Every doubt, every concern, every temptation, washed away at the feeling of his love in his embrace. They broke apart and Ben could not wipe the look of amazement off his face, “I love you my wife.” Athena only smiled wider. “I love you more.” _

Athena’s eyes focused back on the hologram before her. It was a small snippet of a wet Ben kissing her equally wet cheek. She could feel the happiness radiating out of the hologram. She could feel the sweltering love her younger self had felt at the exact moment. The hologram also capturing a rare sighting of their wedding rings hanging from their necks. They had been young and naive and now she was married to the Supreme Leader… Would she ever be able to accept that? 

Athena yawned as she trudged out of the door and into the hallway. The smell of something sweet flooded her nose and it carried her swiftly to the main area. Streams of sunlight greeted her, warming her to the bone. Athena smiled softly stretching her arms above her head, closing her eyes as she hummed in content. A clatter pulled her attention to kitchen. The man stood there, cheeks tinted red as he watched her. “Ben?” The name slipped out without so much as a second thought. “Oh! I’m sorry, Kylo.” She corrected herself as Kylo offered her a shy smile before turning his attention back to the counter. “Good Morning.” His deep voice echoed through the house, goosebumps erupting up her arms. “Morning.” Athena mumbled, anxiety gnawing away at her. She knew Kylo could sense her uneasy state, but did not address it. “Are you making breakfast?” She questioned sitting down at the small white table. Kylo only nodded making another clattering sound. Athena stared at the man in front of her, feeling flustered and embarrassed. “I’m sorry about last night,” She chirped up, “I’m not sure what came over me.” She voiced her apology, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “Well from what you said about the noise going away as you climbed into bed with me, I’m not.” Another noise sounded from behind Kylo, before he turned to face her once again. “Well I’m still sorry. I overstepped a clear boundary… a line.” He sighed striding over to her seat and crouching down. His hand slowly drifted up to caress her cheek and jaw. “Glad to know this habit hasn’t gone away.” A small sarcastic smirk worked its way onto his face. How did he know- Athena’s internal questioning was cut short by the narrowing of his eyes, a telling notion. Of course he knew her bad habits. “Athena” Kylo stood back up, his hand leaving her skin burning, awaiting their next contact. “It’s impossible to overstep a line that does not exist.” He turned back to whatever sweet food he was preparing. The fire burning in her cheek seemed to spread at his words. She decided to remain silent until the color disappeared from her face. Athena knew she should not feel this way, this was the enemy, but it was also the boy she had loved since the moment she laid eyes on. This was her husband, the man the Force had brought her to, the man the stars had destined for her. The person she risked her chance of becoming a Jedi to be with. Athena was still processing the whole ancestor of Qui-Gon Jinn and powerful Force user thing… This was the son of Leia Organa, the woman who swore there was still good left in him. Athena could feel it, the light and darkness fighting within him. A constant shift in the scales. Perhaps he had been seduced by Snoke which meant he could change, that he could come back to her. Is that what she wanted? Athena knew she needed to accept who she once was before she could concern herself with what the two of them were meant to be. There was a high probability that Kylo did not want to further anything anyways, it had been eleven years after all.

A plate was set down in front of Athena, derailing her deep thoughts momentarily. She examined the food before her, a wave of joy washing over her. “Are these…” Athena trailed off, watching Kylo nod, taking his seat across from her. “You remembered.” She smiled picking up her fork to dig in. She took a small bite, moaning a little from the sweet flavor flooding her taste buds. Athena looked up to express her gratitude to Kylo, only to see he had not moved a muscle instead watching her with a pained expression. “What’s wrong?” She pondered, eyebrows furrowing. “Of course I remembered that Strawberry Strudel was your favorite. Athena I remember everything about you. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I thought you were dead, assumed you hated me and that was why I never saw your ghost. And now I hear you thinking that I would possibly not want you anymore. I-I…” His words stumbled over each other as his emotions poured out of his mouth. Athena's hand reached across the table grasping his tightly. This was all so wrong but she could not fight the Athena Jinn inside. She offered him a small smile, “I’m sorry that’s not how I meant it.” Kylo nodded stiffly, keeping his eyes down on the table. Their hands stayed intertwined as she continued. “I’m not sure what I want or where I’m supposed to go from here, but I would like your help. Despite everything, you’re the only one that can. Like you once said ‘you and I were written in the stars.’” Kylo’s tear filled eyes raised to look at her, hope brimming inside them as well. “Of course I’ll help you,” He squeezed her hand, “I’ll always help you.” Perhaps they could save each other.

  
  



	10. Another Life

Athena’s hand stayed intertwined with Kylo’s as they continued to eat breakfast. An energy flowing between them. The energy had always been there, since they were children, but Athena was only now beginning to feel it once more. Her returned past not only bringing back her memories, but reviving the connection she had to the Force. She was attuned once again to the energy that flowed through every living thing. Especially the energy flowing through the man across from her. 

Kylo and her were silent, only stealing glances at one another every so often. She did not fully understand the complete shift in her, this sudden need to be near him. The agony of two lives seemed to be subsiding with his proximity and as much as Athena wanted to credit that as to why she wanted him close, she knew it would only be a lie. Yes, he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the person she was supposed to see as her enemy. Yet, the man across from her in simple dark clothing only resembled the boy who used to watch sunsets with her. The feelings Athena Jinn had were too strong to fight. The connection the two shared through the Force, only fueled the pull, the allure, the current that Athena attempted to fight against. And whether or not she liked it, she needed his help to find herself again. Eating the last bite of her strudel, Athena glanced up to Kylo, who’s reddened face held onto their hands. She watched his black waves slipped down in front of his eyes, a vision resurfacing. 

_ Two medium length braids fell down Athena’s shoulders as she sat in her small hut, meditating. She was not one to brag but she was the best meditator in class. Master Luke had accredited her ability to great uncle, a man known for his dedication to the Living Force. Athena could feel everything, the vitality that surrounded her, the temple, and especially the incoming strong vigor. Not a second later, Ben came running in, his aura emitting nothing but pure elation. “What?” She prompted not opening an eye. The boy was a little breathless as he delivered the good news, “Master Luke is allowing for us to go to Hanna for the ball!” Athena’s eyes opened at that, turning to the grinning boy. Sweat made his hair cling to his face, its usual fluffiness matted down. “Really?” She could not deny the joy that flooded her at the idea of returning home for the first time in years. Ben only nodded coming to sit beside her on the floor. “I thought you didn’t want to go?” Athena questioned, nudging his shoulder. Ben only shook his head, “The ball no, I don’t wish to go to that, but I would like to see my parents.” She nodded at that, she wanted to see them too. “When do we leave?” Ben looked up to her, an unreadable look in his eyes as he watched her intently. For the past two years, something had begun to form between them. Something more than just childhood friends, something more powerful. “In an hour.” Ben stood once again, pulling her up with him. He stood close, his warm breath fanning across her face. Athena would almost be distracted by his presence, by the constant energy flowing between them, but instead she wrinkled her nose. “Did you have your private lesson again? You smell worse than a Wookie! You better go freshen up, I’m not flying anywhere with you smelling like that!” _

Ripping her hand from his, Athena stumbled up and out of her chair in alarm. Her hands flew up to her forehead pushing hair out of her face. Kylo stood in alarm too, “What’s wrong?” Athena ignored him, her thoughts racing faster than what it took to make the Kessel Run. Her content with the Supreme Leader seemed to grow, leaving her jittery. Her emotions and senses were out of control, every surfacing memory only leading her to feel more drawn to Kylo. The very man before her, trying to snap her back to reality. “What happened? What’s wrong?” Kylo reiterated, his hands cupping around her face. He could not read her thoughts they were too cluttered, like the morning he gave her her memories back. “I keep getting these… flashes of moments, memories from before.” She answered finally, eyes glazed over. “What did you see?” Kylo spoke gently rubbing soothing circles on her upper cheeks. “It was us, before we went to the ball on Hanna.” Athena whispered, peering up at his concerned eyes… he had always been so worried about her. “You had just come back from your lesson and you were so sweaty, you smelled-” “Worse than a Wookie.” Kylo finished, letting out a quiet laugh, and recalling the moment himself. Athena let a small smile grace her lips, before she turned serious again. “Why does this keep happening?” He let out a deep sigh pondering momentarily. “You’re still processing everything. I’m assuming once you’ve accepted everything, it will stop.” Athena groaned slightly, she was hoping she was past reliving everything. She could not handle the torment, but then again she did not feel like she had that morning everything returned. No, she felt strangely secure with the warm hands pressed against her skin. “It will be okay, it will subside soon.” Kylo reassured her, his baritone voice laced with tenderness. He made it difficult to pretend to despise him. Suddenly his hands fell from her face, Athena waking from a daze. Stars, she was puddy in his hands already… This was dangerous. “I’ll clean up and you go get ready for the day. Perhaps we could go on a walk? Some fresh air may help with the overwhelming senses.” Athena beamed, “Yes that sounds lovely actually.” She turned to leave, but a sudden urge erupted inside of her and she turned back to his observing stature. Her hands shakingly rose to his cheeks, her thumb gently falling over his scar. “Thank you for breakfast.” She wanted to say more: to thank him for helping, for returning the lost pieces of her soul, for always being there for her. Instead her hands slipped down and she turned to the hallway, her heart hammering in her chest. Oh yes, this was very dangerous. 

Kylo stood hunched over the kitchen sink watching the warm breeze float through the endless greenery. He could hear the faint sound of the water running down the hall, but his mind was too fogged to focus on it. A warm flush worked its way onto his skin, a feeling he always credited to being around Athena, his light. He was still processing all the physical contact she had been bestowing upon him. It had been over a decade since he had felt pure, kind, bonded physical contact with someone. Rey and him had had a moment months ago, but that was different. That was two broken people finding temporary solace within each other, but the scavenger had let him down just as everyone else had. Athena was different though, she never let him down. It was all so overpowering, she was overpowering. Not to mention her thoughts, her thoughts of him. He could sense the part of her that wanted to open up to him, that was beginning to see him in a new light. He wondered if she could sense his internal battle, the light winning at the moment. He did not care if she did, he did care that it was there. There was no Snoke to punish him for it anymore, he was liberated from his cruelty. Yet, he was not freed from the constant wavering of his darkness and light. All Kylo wanted was her by his side forever, they could get into the messier details another time. He moved to put the last clean dish away when a strange unfamiliar feeling washed over him. It was like a cloud had enveloped around him in the Force, transporting him elsewhere. This was entirely new, something he had never experienced before. 

Kylo was abruptly back in the master bedroom. It was cleaner: the sheets neatly made on top of the bed, a changing divider placed in the corner where the lightsaber slashes once were, and the frames depicting many different things were cleaned and placed upright on the dresser. Kylo was now in entirely different clothing, dark brown robes now adorned his towering figure. Something was not right… A sweet laugh came from his left and Kylo turned instinctively to find Athena emerging from the bathroom. Her clothes were covered in splotches of water, soaking her. A gem gleaming on a significant finger as she brushed away her loose hair, sitting down on the edge of the bed with a huff. “Bathtime is always such a hassle.” Kylo chuckled in unison with her as a small child exited the bathroom. It was a girl, no older than four, with wet black ringlets, soft brown eyes, and a mole on her left cheek. “Were you splashing again?” Kylo bent down to the little girl’s level, watching the sneaky grin work its way onto her sweet young face. “It was an accident!” She giggled out, her voice angelic. “Well you know what that means.” Kylo stated simply, mocking a serious tone. The little girl shook her head, those killer brown eyes widening. “I’m just going to have to tickle you.” The girl gasped immediately, “No Papa!” But Kylo already swept up her and onto the purple sheets, tickling the sides of her pale green nightgown endlessly. “Mamma!” The girl breathed out between her hysterical giggles, “Help me!” Athena only laughed from the side coming to the rescue. 

Porcelain shattering across the floor woke Kylo from his trance, the man now back in the kitchen. What was that? He had never felt something so… real. This was something he had never been educated in, something he did not know existed. Had he simply just conjured up the image himself? No, it was not possible. He could not fabricate a delusion so strong, so beautiful. That was the worst thing swirling through his mind right now, the longing for it to have been true. Too caught up in his own confusion, Kylo did not hear the water shut off or the door opening down the hall. “D-Did you see it too?” Kylo’s eyes focused to find Athena with a towel sloppily wrapped around her frame, soap still lathered in her hair. He could only nod, staring back at her half-crazed eyes. He wondered what he looked like. She let out a sigh of relief, “I thought I was going crazy. It was nothing like the other flashes, it felt so real like…” She trailed off searching for the correct term. “Another life.” Kylo finished her thought, finding his voice. The two shared a grim expression, still suspended in a state of shock. Athena and Kylo could sense it in one another, the gaping hole the illusion left in its wake, the yearning too. It was not real, it could never happen. Could it? No, Kylo shook away his hope, war was no place for a child. “G-Go finish getting ready and then we’ll go on that walk?” His statement came out as more of a question, but Athena nodded nonetheless. She disappeared back into her room as Kylo outstretched his hand. His focus was shaken as he tried to collect all the shards of the broken plate, before he dumped it all into a waste bin. The child’s sweet laugh haunting him. 

Athena walked side by side with Kylo, both remaining silent, too stunned to talk. She watched him trudge alongside her, his eyes hardened as he was lost deep in thought. She wondered in what, could he be thinking of the illusion as well? Athena contemplated reading his thoughts, but no matter how hard she practiced as a padawan it never truly worked well for her. Kylo had always been gifted when it came to reading thoughts. It made her a bit flustered to think he heard everything she thought, every thought of him. Athena let her head fall back to absorb the warm sun, the pure energy. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, walking blindly. She reached out, seeking guidance and reassurance from the Force, asking for a sign. A signal on how to proceed with life, on where to go from here, on why she was here. Athena opened her eyes and the sun instantly blinded her for a second. Blinking the colorful speckles in her vision away, an image flashing forward. 

_ He was young, thirteen, running through the quiet meadows with hot tears being wind whipped against his flushed skin. Ben stumbled and dropped down into the grass, sobbing loudly. He bent down and cradled his face in his hands, down in the grass. A gentle hand was soon placed on his back, automatically rubbing soothing circles. He knew exactly who it was, he had no fear, there was only one person who would chase after him. “It’s okay Ben.” Athena comforted. “N-No it’s not, Kol’s right! I’m never going to be good enough.” Ben’s head lifted from his hands, looking utterly distraught. Ben did not have a firm grasp on his emotions yet, which presented itself in moments during his training. A fact the young padawan was ashamed of. Athena scoffed, “Yes you are! You’re the strongest Force user here!” Ben glanced over at her, tears messily smeared across his face. “But I’ll never be my uncle or grandfather!” Athena sighed, shifting to sit on her knees, trying to be imposing. “You’re right.” Athena stated blandly and Ben sunk into himself, dejected by her words. “You’ll be better.” He only shook his head in disbelief, tears still falling. He did not believe he would amount to anything. “You’re more than you think of yourself. You’re everything to me.” Ben’s sobs hitched at that, “I am?” She only smiled and moved to wipe away his tears. “Yes, you’re all I have Ben, but sometimes you need to realize that being Ben Solo is the greatest thing you’ll ever do. “ Ben sniffled and nodded slowly, her words calming him. He moved to place his hands over hers that still rested on his face. Athena winced lightly attempting to play it off as a smile, but Ben saw through her lie and yanked her hands away from his face. Her dominant hand was red, the knuckles bloody and bruised. “What happened?” Ben hiccuped. “I may have punched Kol… Master Luke won’t be pleased, but it was worth it.” _

Athena returned to the sunny scenery to find Kylo standing in front of her, patiently waiting and watching. “What did you see this time?” He questioned, eyes searching hers. “You can’t tell?” Kylo shook his head, “No you’re not exactly thinking of these moments, they’re just resurfacing in your mind. All I hear or see is your emotions.” “How did I feel?” Kylo was silent, his hand coming up to catch a stray teardrop that threatened to fall from her eye. “I felt sympathy and sadness, but also gratitude and content.” Athena nodded, observing Kylo who only prompted her for more. “It was us in the meadow after I punched Kol.” Kylo stiffened at her words, remembering his vulnerability, remembering her words of comfort. The words he had strayed so far from. The two stared at each other intently, eyes both conveying feelings they could not admit, not yet. “ _ You’re everything to me.” _ Athena unexpectedly launched herself onto Kylo, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck as she began to cry softly into his shoulder. Kylo hastily returned her hug, his strong arms locking her against him. They were flushed against each other, their auras blending together as they wept. There had been so much heartache interwoven into their lives, tearing them apart, but they had found a way back to each other. Or at the very least, the beginning of the way. Athena felt the will of the Force answering her. This was her sign, they would need to save each other, end all of this. This was their destiny.

After dinner, the two sat on opposite ends of the couch, anxiety lingering in the air between them. Both unsure how to continue, so instead they both silently read. “I’m so sorry about the Strykers on Hosnian, I want you to know I had nothing to do with that.” Kylo spoke suddenly tearing Athena’s pretend focus away from her book. She could not read, not with her spiraling thoughts of him. Athena gulped, she knew Snoke had been in command when the Cataclysm of the system occurred. She could not blame his apprentice, not when he was apologizing. She placed her book down onto the glass table before her and turned to face Kylo. He did the same, his eyes holding a look of pure regret. “There’s nothing you could’ve done.” She whispered. Kylo let out a deep sigh, “I know, but I keep envisioning you on there when it happened and I would’ve lost you again without ever knowing.” Athena shifted closer, she could not control herself anymore. Every ounce of the Resistance fighter inside her soul gone. “But I wasn’t, I’m right here with you.” Kylo nodded glumly, pulling her closer until she knelt right beside him, facing him. “I don’t deserve you, I never have.” Athena silenced him by pressing her finger to his lips, moving to rest her cheek against his. They remained quiet, basking in each other’s warmth. Until Athena began to yawn.

“Do you wish to sleep in the master bedroom again tonight? I can sleep on the floor if it makes you more comfortable. I would have done so last night, but you kind of locked me down.” Kylo rambled out nervously. Athena smiled to herself and pulled back to face him once more. “Ah yes the most powerful Force user of his generation was secured down by a sleep deprived me.” She teased and watched as his face flushed in embarrassment. “Surprising isn't?” Athena laughed and stood from the couch, pulling Kylo up with her. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He whispered down to her and she agreed with a smirk. “Yes I’ll go change.” She moved towards the hall before throwing, “And I’m sure we can handle sleeping in the same bed again” over her shoulder. Oh she hoped she could. 

Knocking on the white door before entering, Athena was greeted with Kylo in a simple black shirt sitting up in bed. He was on the far side of the bed, the open spot next to him awaiting her. His eyes nervously racked down her figure covered by a medium length gray nightgown. Her hair wild and free, framing her beautiful face. ``Hi.” She mumbled fiddling with the fabric of her nightgown. “Hi.” His deep baritone voice radiated warmth through her, pushing her onward. Athena pulled back the dark purple sheets and awkwardly slipped into bed beside him. She moved around for a bit finding comfort on her side facing away from him. “Are you settled?” Kylo questioned, his stare burning through her head. “Yes, thank you.” The dim light illuminating the room disappeared, the darkness consuming everything. 

_ Athena in her white flowery dress jumped out of the X-Wing, Ben following suit. The two dashed across the Jedi grounds, heading for her hut. It was still dark, everyone asleep, and unaware of their departure only hours ago. But morning would soon break and they needed to appear as if they never left. “Can you unlace me?” Athena asked once inside her hut. Ben’s fingers hurriedly unlaced the white ribbon on the back of her dress as she removed her crown of flowers. “Done.” Ben announced and Athena quickly slipped out of the fabric, leaving her bare to his eyes. “It’s a shame daylight is so soon.” His voice was huskier, inviting. Athena only laughed placing a kiss to her newly betrothed lips. She pulled off her ring and handed it to him, “Instead of getting all worked up, how about you find a way for us to secretly wear these, hmm?” Ben groaned in annoyance, accepting her ring. He sat down on the floor next to her small tray and began to thread black leather strips through their rings, fastening them into necklaces. Athena came back to his side, wearing brown robes and her hair braided tightly. “For you my wife.” Ben handed her her necklace, the silver band secured at the bottom. “Thank you, my husband.” She grinned and slid the necklace over her head, hiding it underneath her tunic perfectly. He did the same as he stood back to his towering height. “There now nobody will know.” A joyful laugh fell from Athena’s lips, she was still full of bliss and love. They captured each other’s lips in a kiss once more, the sun beginning to rise on the horizon. “This will prove to be the longest trying day of my life,” Ben complained, “but once it is through, I will make love to you until the stars align.” Athena’s cheeks turned a deep crimson, her words failing her, so she simply pressed a feverish kiss to her husband’s lips as the morning bells began to toll.  _

Athena was back in the dark bedroom, her body warm and tingling. She felt Kylo shift closer, his fingers crazing her bare arm. “What did you see?” Her cheeks blazed from his question and her memory, silently thankful for the darkness. “Um… my father and I running around the farmhouse in Nayli.” She lied, too embarrassed to reveal the truth. She did not feel like disclosing how she saw the hours after their wedding, the promises of later, while lying in bed next to him. “That would make sense. I felt love and compassion.” Athena only nodded in the dark, her words failing her. She was not sure why it popped back in her mind, perhaps the memory of their sex life surfacing , but the illusion of the child resurfaced as well. “She looked like you.” Athena whispered in the night. “Who?” Kylo asked, eyebrows furrowing at the shift in topic. She rolled around to face him, finding Kylo on his side already facing her. The pale moonlight outside illuminating the room just enough that she could make out his eyes. Oh his sweet eyes, the eyes she had seen reflected in the child. “The little girl,  **our** little girl.” Kylo was mute as he gaped at her, anguish flickering like hot coals in his eyes. He eventually nodded, mouth still pressed into a solid line. “What was that?” Kylo released his lips, a rough exhale sounding with it. “I’m not entirely sure. It wasn’t a premonition, it’s not something I’ve ever heard of. And the fact that we both saw it collectively, I-I just don’t know.” Athena let out a faint noise as a response. “The Force works in mysterious ways.” They shared a knowing look, before she turned to lie on her back. For her next words, she could not look him in the eye and say. “It-It would have been nice… that other life.” She confided. Athena felt his hand find hers beneath the covers, holding it tightly. “It would’ve been.” Hands still clasped together, the two shifted closer into each other’s embrace, soothing each other into a peaceful sleep.


	11. Never Was There a Story...

Calloused fingertips traced invisible lines against Athena’s smooth skin, causing her to faintly stir in her deep sleep. They were hot against her face as the person mumbled incoherent words, something her fogged mind could not pick apart. She felt them slip away, the warm presence next to her disappearing from the bed as well, her eyes never opening. She barely registered it at all as she fell back into a light sleep. 

A door slid open, waking Athena from her short sleep. Her eyes fluttering open at the noise and watched as a blurry silhouette exit the bathroom. Blinking rapidly, her eyes focused in on a fully dressed Kylo heading towards the main door. It was barely dawn where was he going? “Slipping out before daylight huh?” Athena teased, her words stopping the silent man. He turned to find her staring at him from the mass of covers, looking nothing short of comfortable and extremely inviting. A part of him was not positive as to why he thought to leave the comforts of the bed in the first place. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?” Athena denied it as she propped herself up on an elbow, her sleep hooded eyes never faltering from his. “Where are you going?” Kylo stepped away from the door and moved closer to her. “Why you miss me already?” Athena smiled, she loved his humorous side that was breaking through his once icy and stiff persona he had adapted as Kylo Ren. Although she knew he had to, to survive. “Something like that.” Kylo let out a short chuckle now hovering above her. “I’m going to meditate.” His answer was timid as if it seemed unreasonable for him to do so. Even the Dark side Force users were known to meditate and Kylo was not just purely dark. “May I accompany you?” A small eager smile grew on his face, “Of course.” With that, he pulled her out of bed.

Athena walked towards the area in between the garden and the lake where Kylo sat waiting for her. She was now cleaned, dressed, and ready to tap back into the Force fully. Eager to connect to another lost part of herself, a circumstantial part in indicating where her place was. She sat down cross legged beside Kylo, who she mirrored, the palm of his hands pressed firmly against his knees. “You’ll need to clear your mind and focus inward.” He instructed his eyes never opening. Athena nodded even though he could not see it. She closed her eyes and attempted to will away all her thoughts, focusing on her heartbeat, but little thoughts would slip back into her mind just as she began to reflect inward. They were tiny nothing thoughts, nothing on the grand scale of things she had to worry about, but they intruded anyways keeping her from her state of peace. “Are you in need of assistance?” Athena peeked one eye open to see Kylo observing her restlessness and inability to submerge herself into a state of inner stillness. “Maybe, only if you care to.” He snickered under his breath and moved to rest on his knees, facing her. His hands extended outwards, his calloused fingertips pressing gently against her temple, and Athena closed her eyes. Her mind quieted down, allowing for her to slip into a state that was completely still and one pointed, her soul awakening. She was fully aware of her surroundings: of Kylo removing his hands and sitting back down, of the gentle breeze caressing the surface of the blue water, and of the soft melodies performed by surrounding birds. She felt the flow of the Force: life, decay, rebirth, the Light and the Dark. She could feel the Light surfacing in Kylo, her heart swelling in response. He was changing, he was starting the path to saving himself. Athena focused on a middle ground in between the two sides when she felt something strange. The Dark was not beckoning to her, promising enticing impossible things, no it was creeping forward reaching for her instead. 

_ Athena was little kneeling in her small bed, small arms pressed against the window sill. Her bright eyes watching the bright crackling lightning through the small window, enjoying the cool night breeze that floated in with the sweet smell of the garden just beyond the walls. She witnessed the same breeze dance through the surrounding trees, each leave twirling along. Athena was content and happy. With another bolt of lightning erupting across the sky, lighting the otherwise dark Nayli, a strange twisted feeling entered her soul. Filling her with only fear. The sweet smell of the garden faded, replaced with a strong scent that burned in her nose with each inhale, smoke. She coughed out the strange twist in smell as she slid off her bed. Confusion and frightfulness replacing her previous contentedness, even she, at such a young age, knew something was wrong. Athena walked towards the door across her room, a strange orange hue sneaking in through the bottom slit. As her tiny hand reached for the door panel, the door abruptly shot up. Her mother looked down with frantic eyes, the blackest of smoke already clinging to her skin and nightgown. “Mamma?” She was silent as she scooped Athena up into her arms, a hand cradling her head, pushing the child down into her mother’s clothed shoulder to prevent the inhalation of fumes. Her mother rushed through the flame coated hallway, hurrying towards the front door. A loud cracking noise sounded, followed by a crashing sound. Her mother halted in her motions, tucking Athena closer. “No!” Her mother cried out. Athena tore her head away from the shoulder to see some of the large lumber supports had fallen from the ceiling and now obstructed their escape. “Mysa!” A deep voice bellowed out from the other side of the blockage. “Baron we’re trapped!” Her mother called back seeing her husband’s face poking through a small opening left in between the lumber. “Go out one of the windows!” Athena and her mother turned to find the hallway behind the consumed with even more flames. The two turned back to the obstacle, her mother eyeing the small opening, small enough for a child to fit through. “No you’re going to have to grab Athena!” She concluded. “What about you?” Athena’s father called back in a frantic. “I’ll figure something out, but you have to save her, she’s too important!” A loud defeated sigh was heard, “I know. I’m ready when you are.” Athena was pulled away from her mother’s body, leveling the small girl with her mother’s face. Pressing a tearful kiss to her cheek, her mother instructed her carefully, “Keep your head down honey.” Athena obeyed and felt as she was maneuvered through the small opening into her father’s hands.  _

Athena’s eyes flew open as she jolted back to the present. Her chest was tight as her memory induced a deep panic in her. Her breathing was ragged on the verge of hyperventilating. Her mind replayed her parent’s deaths, the nightmare she consistently had as a child. The panic induced hysteria she was experiencing seemed to break Kylo out of his meditation, his widened eyes turning to hers. He was up on his knees quickly, his red crackling lightsaber appearing out of thin air. His eyes scanned her body for any sign of injury, observed the terrain looking for any sign of a hostile threat, completely unaware that the threat was her mind. Kylo seemed to read her manic thoughts better after he concluded there was no physical threat, finally reading that she had once again seen a flash of a memory again. She watched as he turned off his lightsaber and place it in the grass next to him, his eyes attentively watching her. “I saw them die, I saw them die.” She repeated thickly. Instantly Kylo’s arms were beckoning her forward and into his sinking lap, his arms tightly securing her against him. Athena clung to him desperately as she continued to echo the same four words. 

Athena sat on the couch in the house, rocking herself back and forth, still in a fit of shock. Her tears had dried, but she could only credit that miracle due to the fact she had run out of them. She still sat in her state of distress when Kylo exited the kitchen with a cup of tea in his hand. His towering frame came to a stop and handed her the steaming cup, the warmth thawing through her stone like stature. Kylo sat down next to her and proceeded to rub soothing circles on her back, their automatic comforting tool. Shakingly Athena lifted the cup to her lips and took a small sip, in the same breath admitting to the dark truth that haunted her. “I killed my parents Kylo.” “Why would you believe such a thing?” Kylo questioned despite knowing her train of thought, why she made this conclusion everytime she dreamt of the horrible night. It was something that had discussed late at night when these dark thoughts plagued her sleep. “It was my nightmares all over again, reliving the night it happened. I was looking out the window and felt this great swell of darkness consume me. Then the fire erupted across the farmhouse… I started the fire.” The gentle hand of her back was removed, instead moving to turn her to face him. His sincere eyes reined her out of the abyss of sorrow. “No you didn’t. Athena there has never been an ounce of darkness in your soul. It was a tragic accident, the lightning caused it. The Republic investigated it, there was no foul play.” Athena nodded along, she knew this, she did. Leia and Kylo had told her many times, it was not her fault. Although something still did not feel right about that night, but she needed to discredit it, for her sanity. She was only four perhaps she had been wrong, confused. Her sorrow could not be so easily swayed, but she would drop the subject. “I know… I just-” She cut herself off, wanting to spare his feelings, but she had already thought it. She always lost someone of significance to a fire. “I know, but neither of them were your fault.” She looked to him through her veil of lashes, riddled with guilt. Kylo’s arms outstretched once again, but this time his eyes held a look of questioning, uncertainty. Athena silently approved and his arms wasted no time in moving her to sit sideways on his lap. She instantly burrowed herself against his chest finding the comfort she longed for. 

The next morning, Athena felt the same calloused fingertips pressed against her skin. There was no rhythm to his movements today, only a simple caress followed by a few light pokes. Was he afraid she was no longer tangible? Keeping her eyes closed she feigned sleep, enjoying his soft strokes. “I still can’t believe you’re really alive.” His raspy voice murmured, in disbelief. Worse he thought she was a ghost… “I can hear you, you know?” Athena bit back a smile, opening her eyes to see him still lying across from her. His hair falling wildly against the pillow, eyes still red from sleep, and a lazy smirk on his face. Oh what a lovely sight. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” “Hmm sure you don’t.” She giggled and stretched her arms over her head, hearing a faint pop with the motion. Kylo watched her with an amused look, he was quite frankly giving her too many smiles to handle. “I have a proposition for you.” Athena quirked up an eyebrow and studied his eyes, the windows to his soul. “I’m listening.” Kylo propped himself up on one elbow and looked down on her, “Let’s go swimming.” “Really?” Perhaps she was imagining things but did the Supreme Leader of the First Order just suggest they go swimming? “I can still hear you.” He deadpanned, causing an embarrassed blush to seep up the back of her neck and her cheeks. “And yes. You used to love swimming and I figured you could use a nice memory.” Athena felt her heart pick up a little, his simple caring words ruining any fight she had left. Was there any fight even left? She knew she was stumbling down a deep tangled path, but she could not fight it. Eventually they would have to return to the world, to reality, to the dark truth that was their life outside this atmosphere, but they both continued to choose to ignore it all. 

Kylo stood in the main room awaiting Athena, the massive intimidating Force user was in a pair of inky black swimming shorts, striving for the two towels in his hands to hide his exposed chest. She had already seen him without his shirt on when they first arrived five days ago. He did not want her to feel as flustered and uncomfortable as she had that morning. Granted that was before they had begun to reconnect, before she knew the truth. Yes, in the past they had seen each other naked plenty of times, becoming extremely comfortable around each other, but it had been over a decade. Kylo heard her door shoot open and the sound of her piddle paddle against the white floors as she neared the main room. The Supreme Leader grew nervous, wanting to sink in his skin, before his thoughts were pulled away. Athena stepped out of the hallway in a simple black bathing suit, fingers weaving her hair into a tight braid.. His eyes trailed up her figure, gulping heavily at the sight. It had been over a decade since he had last seen so much skin, let alone hers. He was unsure of how to process it all. Kylo tried to remind himself that her comfort came first, that he needed to stay in control of his thoughts, of his hands. They were not love struck teenagers anymore, only broken adults who had found each other again. Her simple touches and thoughts were not signs that she wished to be with him again, no he would need a verbal admission for that, words he did not believe she would ever say despite it all. He had become a monster and no one loved monsters. “Ready?” Athena grinned, unaware of his racing thoughts. “Y-Yes.” He extended his arms outwards towards the glass door and to his own personal torment.

The lake water was rejunivinating against Athena’s exposed skin as she waded through the breathtakingly refreshing water, her mind at complete ease and content. No sorrow filled thoughts plagued her mind, no thoughts of the eventual discussion of how Kylo and her were supposed to continue forward. No, she could only feel the vibrant energy of life that enclosed around the lake, that greeted her like an old friend. Although her true old friend swam slowly trailing behind her, his wet hair clinging to his face messily. Although she doubted he would ever admit it, she knew he was enjoying himself. Her arms extending out of the water to push her further on, elicited a sound that triggered another flash to occur.

_ Athena and Ben were in the overgrown field, just beyond the temple. They were in their mid teens, their shifting friendship the only thing on their minds. “Just trust me and stay still.” Ben sighed out annoyed. Athena only rolled her eyes, eyeing his upside down figure across from her. He was doing a handstand, his hair falling away from his face, revealing his ears that he ever so hated. She thought they were cute, just another part of him that added to his perfect self. Of course she would never admit that to him, but that was besides the point. Instead she only giggled at the sight. The young padawan across from her had gotten it into his head that he could lift her using the Force, upside down. A story Master Luke had begun to regret telling his nephew. “Fine but if you drop me, I will personally fly you to Tatooine and feed you to a Sarlacc.” Ben’s eyes widened at that, “Noted.” The two were silent for awhile and Athena could feel Ben’s presence reaching forward in the Force, but seemed to be unable to lift anything. He was not focusing enough, surely the amount of blood rushing to his head was not helping. His aura shifted from determined to frustrated to angered and Athena finally spoke up at that. “Let me help.” Ben’s eyes opened harshly, agitated he could not do it himself, but the sincere look on Athena’s face disposed of any anger. He instead nodded and closed his eyes again. Athena did the same and began to search the Force for Ben’s surge of power, the young padawan finding it rather quickly. The two had an unheard of connection in the Force as if they were drawn together, their powers somehow being pushed together, as if they belonged that way. The two focused immensely with their connected energy, both beginning to feel a change. Athena and Ben felt a burst of something, a sign to open their eyes. “Whoa!” They both were floating a few inches above the ground, Athena still cross legged and Ben upside down but hovering in the air. Around them a few items floated too, their lightsabers, books, and scrolls, their power doing it all.  _

Athena returned to the bright sun and sparkling water, she now swimming upright and in place. Kylo still was a feet away, only now he wore more of a smile. He noticed her no longer glazed over eyes, signifying she was back from her memory. “What did you feel?” She asked beating him to the punch as he swam closer. “Humor, Joy, and Pride.” She hummed in acknowledgement, her head dipping back into the water. Her hair swayed gently in the water as she answered his unasked question. “I saw when you tried to lift me standing on your head.” Kylo let out a soft chuckle, his inner pleasure radiating off of him with the sound. Everyday Athena could feel the darkness retreat and the light grab ahold of him, it was a slow process, but she suspected he also fought against it as much as he could. She was unsure as to why he was afraid to turn back, it was something they would need to delve into in the near future. “ I’m glad I didn’t drop you.” Kylo’s voice awoke her from her thoughts and she laughed at his words, recalling her empty threat. “From what I recall you couldn’t lift me without my help.” She could not help but tease him. Others would be trembling where she stood, quaking in fear of the white hot anger that ran through Kylo Ren’s body, but not her . Oh no she rather rejoiced in the fact that she was in this position and he was slowly distancing himself from that loathsome mantra. Kylo quirked an eyebrow up at her antics, a challenge embedded in the action. “Oh really?” Athena had no time to respond before a spray of water coated her already wet skin. She gaped at him in disbelief, what were they children again? “Yes.” Kylo mocked, reading her thoughts. She did not think very much before she was shoving a handful of water at him, a minor splash war beginning. It was as if they really were children again. Children who were not forced to grow up so quickly, children who did not perish. Kylo swam closer and grabbed ahold of Athena before she could shovel another handful of water into his face. Pulling her flush against him, their fun antics stopped, breath hitching in throats. The two stared into each other’s eyes as the warm sunlight danced across their skin, the same bare skin that was pressed tightly against each other. It was all so overwhelming, their senses heightened by their intoxicating presence. When was the last time they had been this close, under such joyful circumstances? Much too long, that Athena was sure of. She could feel the diminishing self control in Kylo and in herself. She was not entirely distraught by the idea, but it was too soon. “Now don’t go getting any ideas Spaceboy.” She breathed out, her breath fanning against his smiling face. “Never.” His brown eyes gleamed with his reply and Athena felt if she were to drown in anything today it would be his eyes. The light banter seemed to break down the thick tension between them, Kylo’s releasing arms also doing the same. “How about lunch?”

The sun had just set beyond the ridge, the soft warm glow fading into a dark blue, with the stars beginning to glisten in the night sky. The two Force users after another peaceful dinner, had retired to the couch. Kylo was taking up the entirety of the surface, his body much too large to try and cram into a small corner, with an old brown leather book cradled in his massive right hand. He read the contents aloud to his company who in return only buried her head further into the crease of his neck. Athena was at ease, resting in between Kylo’s outstretched legs. His warmth and soft words were lulling her to sleep. She had never slept so much in her entire life than she had these past few days. The emotional weight of the stress she experienced and the truth she had relearned, she suspected had a temporary affect on her body. Inducing the seemingly constant fatigue. Kylo continued reading to her and her eyes began to grow heavy against his skin. Athena thought of the past five days and how quickly they had changed, transitioned into something entirely else, how quickly her feelings had changed. Upon arrival she had been a lost Resistance fighter begging for an escape from the Supreme Leader and now she wanted something so strikingly different. “Stay with me.” It was neither a statement nor question, but a promise comprised of simply three words. Kylo maneuvered above her, pulling his neck out from under her, just to get a look at her sleepy face. Her eyes were half lidded, a lazy smile on her face, and a sweet dusting of warmth coating her cheeks. She looked utterly magnificent to him. He let out a deep sigh and lowered his head, pressing his nose against the top of her braid. “Forever.” 

Twelve days. Athena had been with Kylo Ren on this planet for twelve days. Each morning she woke to soft innocent touches, then Kylo proceeded to make breakfast for them, and fill their afternoon with different activities. They would walk around the surrounding fields, go swimming, read, or simply lie down in the garden and reminisce. All activities that brought out more flashes. He was doing it to help her of course, to help her process it all, but there was an alternative motive behind his actions. He wanted to reconnect… they both did. In the midst of all this they wanted to find each other again. In the evening, Kylo would cook again for them, he refused to let her assist in any way, next they would watch the sunset, and then retire to bed only to start all over again. Athena knew they were playing out a fantasy, pretending to live another life, one where they had no responsibilities besides to be with each other. It was not wise to live like this, to fool each other like this, but they could not fight it. They simply could not fight each other. 

Athena exited the master bathroom to find the bedroom empty, just as she had left it. A part of her was relieved, she needed a moment to think. It was late and she had decided to take another shower, to wash away the remnants of the day, and Kylo must have still been outside meditating. He had begun to do it more actively, a part of him rising and it forced him to need time to contemplate. After her experience last week, she had not returned to meditate with him, afraid of how the Dark would seek her out again. But she could not think of that, not when her mind was already a frazzled mess. Anxiety filled her soul as she paced across the span of the room, her fingers fiddling with the hemline of her white nightgown. She could not help the thoughts, the desire that raced through her mind. The thoughts frightened her, he had let her down before. She would not be able to survive the heartache if he did again. But, her thumping heart reminded her, not once since they had been here had she seen him make contact with the First Order. It was like he had cut himself off in search of possible redemption. The idea made her heart swell and extinguish some of her anxiety. She was unsure of how it would go, but she wanted it. 

With a surge of certainty Athena moved towards the door across from her, but halted in her motions when the door opened for someone else. He entered the room rather abrasively, a look of concern embedded on his handsome features. His eyes found hers quickly, observing her enticing white figure, his concern being replaced with something unreadable. “What’s wrong sweetheart? I can feel the anxiety surrounding your aura from outside.” His words were still laced with worry as he stepped closer to the other side of the bed. No nothing was wrong per se but she could not find the ability to voice it. Her nerves were getting the best of her but she needed to stay focused, determined. He would want this too, right? Athena stayed silent as she hurried to close the distance between them, her hands grabbing his face and pulling him down to her lips. A noise of surprise escaped past his lips as he was taken aback by her unexpected actions. For a moment they were lost in the kiss, in the feelings boiling inside, in their longing for each other. But his large hands closed around her upper arms and gently pulled Athena away from him. Athena’s lips already felt cold at the disappearance of his, a subtle pout forming in response. Why had he pulled away? Had she misread his feelings, his intents? Was this not all about being together again? “Athena…” His voice wavered as he looked down at her, eyes gleaming with a look of warning. What was he so concerned about? Was he afraid to lose himself in her? Because she was hoping to lose herself in him. “It’s okay Ben, it’s okay.” Athena stepped closer watching the sharp intake of air Ben had taken at the sudden difference in name. It had been so long since he had heard her truly say it, let alone with so much passion behind it. His hands fell from her arms and she used the new found freedom to let them trail up his exposed arms, leaving delicate touches behind. She traced every visible vein, every bulging muscle, leaving behind nothing but goosebumps. Standing on her tippy toes, Athena moved to press soft kisses to the side of Ben’s neck, loosening his resolve with each kiss. A soft sigh fell from his lips as she continued to taste the salt of his skin, his breathing picking up slightly. She wanted to convey to him how much he meant to her, how much she wanted to be with him. With one last kiss pressed to the edge of his jaw, Ben pulled Athena back and bent down to capture her lips once again, his fear dissipating.

His rough hands raked down the silky fabric of her nightgown finally grabbing at the back of her soft thighs and lifting her instantly. Athena locked her legs around him as Ben moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Their bodies were flushed against one another, lips pressing feverish kisses to their mouths, teeth clashing against each other roughly. Athena eagerly wove her fingers into Ben’s hair, soaking in the feeling of his hands slipping up her nightgown to rest on her waist. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest as she continued to drown in the taste of him. Lungs straining, the two unwillingly broke apart, heaving in large gulps of air. Their eyes were locked together, intensity radiating between the both. They had past a point, shifted back to the Athena Jinn and Ben Solo they once were. One hand slid out from underneath her nightgown to rest on her red cheek. A silent question was written in his eyes and Athena with her swollen lips only kissed up the healed scar on his face in response. She wanted this, she wanted him. Ben lifted his plain black tunic over his head, revealing his toned chest to her and she offered him a small smile before placing her hands just below his collarbones. With a mild push, he lowered himself back onto the bed and Athena slid up in his lap. Leaning down over him, she kissed every scar she could find on his skin. The blaster scar on his side, the lightsaber burn on his left shoulder, the scar on the right side of his face that trailed down into his other shoulder, and every exposed inch in between. Soft whimpers escaped past Ben’s lips as he closed his eyes, basking in the feeling of her kissing his scarred skin. With each noise, she could feel his aura emitting compassion and craving. She could also feel his evident arousal pressing into her inner thigh. With a little smirk she moved up to place a chaste kiss back to his reddened mouth. 

“I-I love you. I never s-stopped. I-I love you so much.” Ben choked out, his watering eyes staring up at her with such intensity it left Athena a little more breathless than his words. Silently she combed her fingers through his wild hair, watching the faint tears escape from his eyes, her own eyes watering as well. There had been so much pain in their lives without each other, it was overbearing to think of. There were things she would need to learn to overcome, to forgive him for, all things that were possible down their path of redemption, but she could not fight her feelings any longer. She was not positive how she had survived without him for so long, their fates were so meticulously intertwined it was if they were not meant to be parted at all. “I may have forgotten but I never stopped either. I knew it the minute I saw you, heard you speak, no matter how hard I fought it, that I loved you. That I still love you.” Her voice was smaller than a whisper as she rested her nose against his, her tears slipping down onto her flushed skin. Ben let out a deep sigh of relief securing her into a sloppy kiss, their faces pressed so close together their tears began to melt together, just as they were. 

Still tangled in a messy kiss, he prompted her to sit up to remove her nightgown. Pulling the nightgown over head left her only in her a pair of white lower garments, Athena’s lovely breasts slipping out freely. Panting lowly, Ben moved her to the bed space beside him and lifted himself to his knees to hover over. He placed open mouth kisses to her now exposed skin, carefully paying attention to her scars as well. He started at her right side, the wound she had received because of his men, and then moved to the one on the other side just below her ribcage. The one she had received during a crash landing with Poe back in the early days of their training. He peppered kisses to her hardened nipples, leaving each one with a swirl of his tongue. Ben drifted upwards finding the scar on her neck, the one she had on permanent display from his carelessness, and kissed the healed pink skin. As they both kissed each of their scars, they realized something profoundly heart wrenching. Most of their scars had been acquired because they had not been together, but none of them were as painful as the heartache they had experienced apart. Athena may not have remembered Ben until twelve days ago but she had been miserable without her past, without him. So much pain that could have been avoided though… 

Athena moaned with every kiss left behind by Ben, especially when he moved away from her neck and finally returned to her eager lips. He kissed her with a sweltering passion, as if they were teenagers again hiding behind the temple between lessons. Both of them were dizzy in the heat of the moment, drunk on the tingling sensation radiating through their bodies. They were so touch starved, each kiss and lingering touch was supplying them with an everlasting memory. But they both still wanted, needed more. Fisting his inky black curls, Athena pulled Ben away from her lips to focus on her. His eyes were half lidded with love and lust, his sweet whiskey brown eyes seeming a shade darker. “Ben, please.” She pleaded desperately, her core throbbing in need of attention. He only nodded and moved to remove his dark pants and briefs, his hard cock springing free. His was swollen red, bigger than she remembered, his tip coated lightly in precum. Her thoughts were pulled away as she let out a loud whimper, feeling his fingers graze across her slick coated panties. A small smirk worked its way onto Ben’s face, at how much she yearned for his touch. He leaned down and nibbled at the soft insides of her thighs, pressing soothing kisses behind in the wakes of his bites. His long fingers hooked around the waistband of her panties before he yanked them down her legs. Ben hissed at the side of her glistening folds, his aura transitioning from want to overwhelmed. Athena could feel it, his painful arousal, his out of control emotions, the Force only adding to the difficulty of the overpowering senses. He had not been this overstimulated since they’re first time together, they both had been. She was affected too, a powerful haze forming around her soul, but she was not coming undone like him. Ben had ignored so many of his emotions for so long and they were all returning at once. He tried to hold his soul together as tears spilled down his reddened cheeks, his breathing sharp. “Breathe Ben, its okay. I love you.” Athena reminded him placing a shaking hand to his face, bringing him back from the edge of oblivion. He nodded slowly, wiping the tears away with the back of his hand. He turned his focus back to her slick coated folds, filling her slowly, both of them moaning loudly. His sheer size was unrivaled and Athena had not experienced it in a long time, now it was her turn to be overwhelmed. Ben lowered himself to hover over her, kissing at her skin waiting patiently for her to adjust. 

After a few moments, Athena finally nodded and captured Ben in a kiss, confirming she was ready. Ben began to thrust in and out, the pace slow and intimate. They had slept together before in their late padawans days, but this was different. Each thrust, moan, and wet hot kiss was an apology and an act of forgiveness. The room was quiet despite for the moans and the sound of slick coated skin slapping together. Athena held him as close as humanly possible, lips buried in his neck as they both let out breathy moans at each thrust. “I’m not going to last very long.” Ben tried to laugh, but it came out more strangled than he intended for. “I won’t either.” Athena sympathized, her hips rolling up to meet his. “Fuck.” Ben moaned out, Athena’s head falling back to rest against his. With their foreheads pressed together, eyes closed in ecstasy, they continued to fuse together with an unbreakable love. Balancing his weight on one arm, Ben’s right hand dipped down in between their bodies pressing his thumb against Athena’s clit. He heatedly rubbed fast circles bring her closer to her orgasm.With a few more thrusts Athena came with a shout of euphoria, her walls clenching tighter around Ben’s cock. Tears of pleasure slipped down her face as Ben continued to chase his orgasm, riding out her high. Soon after his hips staggered against hers as he came hard, filling her entirely. With a few lazy thrusts, Ben slacked down onto Athena, both of them exhausted. Their teary eyes gazed at each other with such fire, such love, it was impossible not to fall apart completely. They were destined and Athena was determined to help save her soulmate. “I love you.” They both uttered as they shifted further into one another’s arms, bliss radiating from their auras. 

  
  


  
  



	12. ... Of More Woe

Kylo Ren stood attentively in the hanger of his Star Destroyer waiting. He wore his signature thick black robes and watched as the Stormtroopers maneuvered around their Supreme Leader in fear. It was times like these that he missed the security of his mask, he needed to get it fixed promptly. The groups of Stormtroopers began to make a clear path on the landing bay when two transporters and a black command shuttle descended into the Destroyer’s hangar. Kylo’s eyebrows furrowed, it was his command shuttle. He continued to scrutinize the ship as a displeasing voice spoke up behind him. “Ah, I see they have finally returned.” General Hux noted coming to stand beside him. Kylo stared at the man questioningly, who was returning in his shuttle? Before he could interrogate the redhead, the ramp door opened on his command shuttled with a hiss and steam pouring out. There was no movements for a moment, only Stormtroopers exiting from the other transports, until he saw the ends of pitch black robes exiting the shuttle. Then he saw the tips of two blazing red lightsabers. The mysterious figure came into full view with the Knights of Ren following closely behind. Kylo believed to be staring at a clone of himself, the mysterious figure adorned similar black robes, his gray and black mask, with a standard red lightsaber in each hand. “W-Who is that?” He questioned Hux, completely perplexed. “Don’t be foolish Supreme Leader, that is the Bride of Ren.” Kylo’s eyes fell back on the group thundering over to them, finding his theorized clone’s black robes to be framing a more feminine figure, and the mask to be smaller as well. The Bride of Ren? Was one of the Knights married? When had he granted a new member amongst the Knights? The woman stalked towards them, her gloved hands twirling the two sabers, before turning them off, and holstering them to her belt. The Knights of Ren moved past her and bowed before their Master, before leaving the hangar all together. The woman stepped forward after their departure, nodding silently to both General Hux and him. Up close Kylo could see the dirt and blood that stained her tight uniform and billowing cloak. “Lady Ren was your mission successful?” Hux questioned, his voice curt and straight to the point. “Yes General Hux, it was. The Resistance is no more.” The voice was deep, modified by the mask, but Kylo could still detect the humor and joy hidden in her tone. “Although it would do you some good to remember,” She paused, a hint of anger evident in her words, as her hands came up to release the tight air locked gears of the mask. She pulled it off in one swift movement, “That I am your Empress.” The air was knocked straight out of Kylo’s lungs at the sight before him. The first thing he noticed was the red burned veins trailing up the left side of her cheek and through her one eye as if she had been struck by lightning. Then he saw the blazing red rimmed yellow eyes that were brought out even more by the black shadow coating her eyelids. The woman’s hair was loosely secured in a bun, small hairs falling out to frame her snarling face. Two red circles were painted on the center of her cheeks, with the same shade of red painting her upper lip and a stripe down the middle of her bottom lip, the indication of a Queen. Her black gloved hand shot out and Force choked Hux, “Bow before your Queen.” Her power forced him down to his knees, his eyes bugging in fear. “ Let’s hope for your sake, you don’t forget to show me some respect, next time.” Her hand released her Force induced death grip around Hux’s neck, the cowering man pleading for forgiveness. “I’m sorry Empress Ren, it will not happen again.” The yellow eyed woman nodded in agreeance, “Yes it won’t, now leave my husband and I.” The General shook as he stood, bowing messily before he rushed out of the hangar. Her wicked eyes turned to Kylo’s, a small evil smile worked its way onto her lips. “Hi.” She greeted shifting her mask into her other hand, before quickly leaning up to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Kylo was in shock, he did not move, nor did he kiss her back. The woman pulled away, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What’s wrong Kylo?” he grimaced at her voice, at her calling him his First Order name, and not his given name. The name she had spoken so many times in their childhood… “A-Athena?” His voice was thick in horror at the darkly consumed love of his life, standing before him. Her eyes seemed to glow a brighter yellow, the red seeping into the middle like fabric soaking up blood. Her concern slipped away as anger replaced it. All evidence of the girl from his youth disappearing. “Don’t you ever utter that name again. You know that’s not my name anymore.” Her voice was menacing, her shoulder harshly plowing into him as she hurried out of the hangar, leaving Kylo in a state of terror. 

Ben jolted up in bed, his chest heaving painfully. Sweat clung to his hair, face, and bare chest. He whipped to his side finding her peaceful sleeping form still lying beside him, the sun casting streaks of light onto her exposed skin. A shaking hand reached out to gently touch her arm, a relieved sigh escaping his lips. She was still there, not a factor of his imagination. What had he just seen? Vile rose in throat at the thought of her piercing yellow eyes and the raw fury that had consumed her soul. It could not have been a premonition, no he would not let it be. But the horrible thought surfaced in his mind, if he was seeing it did that mean it was already set to occur? No, he had dreamed of her death as a padawan and she did not die, it had only been a hologram to fool the galaxy, to fool him. Perhaps this possible outcome of the future had more to it… Ben shook away the thought, he did not want to think of that horrible nightmare again. Most importantly she could never know what he had seen. He stood from the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He stood in front of the sink, looking into the mirror that displayed his sweaty and blotchy face. Tears were dried on his cheeks, sweat clinging to his hairline, and love bites were scattered across his skin. A soft smile worked its way onto his face as he recalled the night before with his love who slept just beyond the wall in front of him.  _ “Breathe Ben, its okay. I love you.”  _ Her words from the night before seemed to calm him down, remind him to be rational. He wanted to be with her forever, even longer if possible, but she could not go Dark, not for him. She was too pure. Splashing cold water onto his face, he willed away him dream, and the fear it instilled in him. Grabbing the small cotton towel to his right, he dried his face, catching sight of something in the background of the mirror, and an idea popped into his mind. 

A rough hand trailed up and down Athena’s bareback, eliciting a small moan from her lips, as it woke her from her slumber. “Take a bath with me.” A raspy voice sounded from right by her ear, lips pressing feather light kisses to her surrounding skin. Eyes closed, she shifted onto her side and outstretched her arms searching for Ben. She was much too tired to walk anywhere. A small chuckle echoed through the room as she felt Ben’s arms pull the sheets off of her and lift her up out of the bed. In her right mind, perhaps she would have been timid about Ben carrying her naked body, but no she only clung to him tightly. He carried her with ease into the bathroom, only stopping before the bathtub. The steamy room smelled of sweet lilacs and roses. “I need you stand for a moment, Love.” Athena nodded slowly and felt as she was lowered onto her feet inside the warm bath water. Her eyes finally opening to see the white, purple, and red petals and whole flowers floating along the surface of the water. Oh how she loved him… Ben’s hands stayed firmly wrapped around her waist as she heard him step in behind her. He sunk down into the water, pulling her to sit down between his outstretched legs. A moan slipped from Athena’s lips as she submerged into the water that soothed her tired muscles. She leaned back against Ben’s chest, feeling his head duck down to place lazy kisses onto her warm wet exposed skin. Her dominant hand lifted from the water to the side of Ben’s face, gently running her fingers through his messy locks. 

_ It was late, everyone asleep in their huts at the Jedi Temple, except for the two lovebirds. It was the night after their wedding and Athena and Ben were crammed onto the small cot, their breathing ragged as they came down from their high. She was tucked loosely in his arms, her index finger drawing tiny stars on his chest. They were quiet, skin sticky with sweat, listening to the insects buzz outside, their minds still in a lovesick haze from their climaxes. “I love you my husband.” Athena breathed out, still in awe over the word, in awe over the fact that he was forever hers. They were bonded together in every humanly way possible now. She wanted to thank the Stars for bringing her to him, her eternal love. They would love each other for the rest of their days and then into the Netherworld. She was content with that, with him forever by her side as it was meant to be. “I love you my wife.” Ben mumbled against her forehead, drinking in her presence. She would probably never get over hearing him call her that. They laid there for a while longer, sleep a distant thought with the electric current pulsating through their veins. Ben was a live wire, every touch he graced her with, only left her feeling warm and alive. She felt Ben’s hands start to dip down her body, teasingly grazing across her upper thighs, as he shifted down to press open mouth kisses to her lips. “Already?” Athena giggled in disbelief over his sudden onset arousal. Ben hummed against her lips, pulling her into his intoxicating taste, his hand drifting closer and closer. He broke away suddenly with a wide mischievous grin on his face, “For you my wife, I could go all night.” Her eyes widened at his words, the idea floating through her murky mind. Athena opened her mouth to make a snarky comment back, but was cut off by her trying to hold in a moan, Ben’s hand finally finding the place that awaited him ever so eagerly.  _

Athena returned to the warm flowery smelling water and the kisses being pressed against her shoulder. “Hmm what did you see?” Ben hummed against her wet skin. She sighed, taking in the feeling of his mouth on hers, “I saw my plans for the next few days. What did you feel?” Ben dragged his bottom lip against her neck junction, his warm tongue swirling along with his kisses. Oh how she could just fuse into his soul entirely… “I felt happiness…” He placed a hot kiss to her neck. “Love…” Another kiss was placed higher up. “And Lust.” His hands tightened around her waist as he sucked lightly at her sweet spot just below her jaw. Athena melted under his touch, her eyes closing in a haze, transfixed on solely him. She shifted in his grip, turning to see his handsome face. His eyes lifted to watch her diligently as she leaned forward to close the gap between them. They kissed each other gently, with passion flowing over each time. Athena wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as the confines of the bathtub would allow. Ben’s large hands were tangled in her wet hair as their tongues lazily danced with each other. They kissed, and kissed, and kissed, until the water began to grow cold. Ben was the first to pull away, knowing Athena would simply ignore it until she began to shake. “Let’s get cleaned up and go eat.” Ben moved to grab the bar of soap and fresh square cloth, lathering it, and immediately working the soap onto Athena’s skin. She could not protest, only sink into his grip as he cleaned her.

With a towel wrapped around her body, Athena exited the bathroom with Ben following closely behind her. She flopped down onto the large messy bed, still holding her towel closed in her one hand. Her skin felt warm from the sun streaming in through the window and from Ben’s touches. Ben chuckled down at her, leaning over the bed to kiss her once again. A part of him, that was quite massive, wished to take her again. To hear her moans, her confessions of love, to feel her surrounding him so tightly. But he knew she needed to eat, to gain energy, and then he could bring her right back to bed. Athena watched as he stood back to his towering height and walked over to the drawers and wardrobe pulling out clean clothing. All dark shades per usual. A soft blush dusted her cheeks as she took all of him while he dressed, paying no mind to her prying eyes. He was hers and she was his. There was simply no other way it was meant to be. “You get dressed and I’ll go start breakfast, okay?” She nodded quietly still lying on the bed. Ben gave her a smile, before he headed to the door, although he stopped in his tracks. Spinning on his heel, he flew back to her side laying a forceful kiss onto her lips. “You lying in this bed, barely covered, is not helping me keep rational thoughts.” He mumbled against her lips. Athena only smiled and stroked his still wet hair, “No one asked for rationality.” Ben groaned, a hungry kiss following, “You’ll be the death of me.” With one more kiss, he pulled himself away and left for the kitchen. Athena stayed cemented to the bed, basking in the sunlight, in a lovesick haze. She thought of Ben, of how connected she felt to him and to even herself. He of course was not the end all be all of her existence, there was more to her than just him, but there had been very little of Athena Jinn’s life without Ben Solo. He was her sun. A selfish part of her thought of the two of them hiding away here for forever, letting everyone else rage on their war. In a fleeting moment the thought had passed, leaving her to feel guilty. They had a part in this war, a huge one, and it was time for it all to end. 

A faint noise woke her from her thoughts. It was hard to describe; it sounded like a loud hum mixed with something else, something she could not place. Athena rose from the bed, securing her towel under her one arm, heading towards where the noise came from. Across the room, the wardrobe seemed to shine in the daylight, beckoning her forward, the noise coming from inside as well. She opened both of the white doors, finding clothes to be neatly hung up and a black bag resting at the bottom. It was the black bag she had seen Ben pack inside his room on the Star Destroyer. Her hands were quick to pull it up, the noise vanishing as she did. The bag was empty beside for the cylinder shaped item still wrapped in torn brown fabric. Carefully she lifted the object, finding the grooves of the cylinder to feel familiar. Unwinding the brown fabric, Athena let out a tiny gasp at what she found. It was a black and silver lightsaber, her lightsaber. The brown fabric dropped from her hand as she lifted her lightsaber up to examine it closely, finding black necklaces tightly intertwined around the base of the lightsaber. The sight elicited another sharp inhale from Athena as she brought the items up to her chest, clutching them with a firm grip. 

Exchanging her towel for clothes, she exited the bedroom and headed down the hallway towards the main area and kitchen. Ben was setting down two plates of food when she came out of the hallway, his eyes immediately traveling up to hers. She was silent as he glanced over her, his eyes sticking to her lightsaber she still held firmly. He sighed, “I should’ve figured it would call to you sooner or later.” Athena looked down to the body of the saber once again, her thumb skimming across the metal pieces. “I forgot about it, forgot that I dropped it that night. You’ve kept it all this time?” Her head lifted to Ben again, his eyes watching her intently, a single nod coming from him as well. “It was all I had left of you, besi-” He cut himself off searching for the black necklaces that should have been tied around the body, only to find them gone. Worry filled his being, where were they? Before he could question if she had seen them, Athena shifted her left hand that gripped the lightsaber, a silver band shining on her ring finger. The concern left Ben, instead filling with something else entirely. She had put her wedding ring back on… Athena did not even realize he had noticed before his looming figure was in front of her, and lifting her into a heated kiss. She kissed him back eagerly, her hands grabbing a hold of his face, the cool silver ring such a striking contrast to their burning skin. “Where’s mine?” His question took her by surprise, her cheeks burning even more. “I um, I left in the bedroom. I didn’t think you’d want to wear it…” Her voice wavered, nervous and unsure of her answer, unsure of his question. Ben let out a low chuckle, nuzzling his nose against hers. “If you’re wearing yours, I’m wearing mine.” With that, he headed towards the still holding her up and into him. Only once they were inside the room did he set her down, him grabbing the black necklace Athena had carefully laid down on the dresser. His long fingers worked to untangle the silver band from the necklace and once he did, he wasted no time sliding it onto his ring finger. The sight was all consuming for Athena, they were Husband and Wife again, well they always had been but now they were acknowledging it. Finally wearing the rings they no longer needed to hide. “I’m surprised it still fits.” Ben laughed a real genuine laugh, his eyes lifting from his hand. His eyes enveloped her whole, she felt locked in place by his gaze, until he set her free with another breathtaking kiss. He could kiss for eternity and she would never have enough, nowhere near it. Although for the time being, she could settle for these spontaneous bursts that came from him. “C’mon let’s go eat.” “Must we?” Ben groaned against her mouth. Athena nodded, freeing herself from his grasp. “Yes, whatever you made smelled too good to go to waste.” She turned for the door, leaving a pouting Ben behind, although she did not get very far. In one swift movement she was tugged back and tossed lightly onto the bed. Ben hovered over her pressing sloppy kisses to her neck, “I can just make it again.” Athena wanted to protest, but she could feel his hardening cock pressing into her open legs, the pleasure of the friction making her eyes flutter shut. “You make a compelling argument.” Her hands were tugging the ends of Ben’s hair, a moan slipping from his lips, as she lifted him into a messy kiss. 

After Ben had to make them a second breakfast, their first growing cold, soggy, and unsalvageable, the two were cleaning up the kitchen and plates. Drying the last dish, Athena spoke up, “I have any idea.” Ben turned to look at her, his hair still messily sticking in different direction and his clothes wrinkled and ruffled up, she was positive she looked the same. “So do I” He said with a smug little smirk. She snorted lightly, “Easy Spaceboy, there will be time for that later. I was thinking maybe we could train…” His eyes widened at that, “What?” Was she suggesting for them to spare like they had done in their youth? He could not imagine igniting his saber anywhere near her, let alone fighting her. He could imagine the red casting an ill looking shadow onto her glowing skin. It only reminded him of his nightmare, of her two red lightsabers. “C’mon I haven’t in years, let’s see if I can still kick your ass!” Ben grimaced looking down at her, trying to fight his conflicting feelings. He needed to forget his dream, to forget that possible future, and maybe this could help. Seeing her with her purple lightsaber, all pure goodness radiating off of her. He offered her a hesitant smile, trying to downplay his thoughts, “With a remark like that I guess we’ll have to.” 

Lightsabers gripped in their hands, eyes watching each other like one of their prey, Athena and Ben stood on the flat ground just beyond the lake. Their figures were rigid as they circled each other, studying their movements. He threw her a smirk, quirking an eyebrow, and Athena ignited her saber for the first time in over a decade. The one side of her face was consumed by the vibrant purple light and Ben’s turned red from his crackling crossguard saber. She tried not to seem distraught by the difference, that his one blue saber, was now blackened and bleeding red. He seemed to sense her dejection, “Don’t worry I’ll go easy on you.” His attempt at a joke earned him a scoff, “Way to take the fun out of everything. Don’t worry though, I won’t on you.” She shot him a teasing grin, before she sprung off the balls of her feet, pouncing toward him like a fearless predator. Ben was quick on his feet too, his saber clashing against hers briefly as he moved to the side. They turned to face each other again, determination written in their eyes and smiles on their lips. It was just like old times… The two danced around the field: quick, precise, and strategic movements coming from both. Head to head, their lightsabers hit each other every minute, Ben’s strength and experience starting to give him the upper hand. As he swung his lightsaber forward, he carefully used the Force, sending Athena down to the floor softly. She was quick to the floor, her grip still holding her saber tightly in her one hand, as Ben came to pin her down. Sweat clung to his forehead, seeping into his black hair, his breathing ragged as he taunted her. “I guess you can't still beat me.” A huff came from Athena as she wiggled underneath him. She leaned up to graze her lips against his, distracting him long enough to bring her leg up. As a cover she teased his inner thigh before rapidly lifting it higher and kneeing him in the stomach. Ben let out a groan releasing his grip on her, allowing for Athena to flip them around. With her lightsaber a few mere inches from his throat, she gave him a snarky smile, his surprised eyes narrowing at the sight. Grazing her lips against his once again she spoke up, “Guess again.” “That was a cheap mov-” Athena cut him off, pressing a rough kiss to his mouth. Ben obliged happily, their lightsabers soon turned off and forgotten entirely.

“Ben!” Athena cried out, nails digging into the skin between his shoulder blades. Her shouting only seemed to encourage him more, his thrusts moving quicker and sloppier. Both of them were moaning messes, chasing their climaxes for the second time that day. She had half a thought, in her clouded mind, that if they carried on at this rate they were bound to break the bed. Her legs were wrapped around his hips, each thrust hitting deeper and deeper. It was knocking the breath straight out of her lungs. “I-I’m going to-” Another loud moan poured from her lips as her orgasm washed over. Ben let out a series of incoherent words as her walls tightened around him, inducing his own. Breathlessly the two stared at each other, in a daze from their love filled highs. Slowly he slipped out from between her legs and fell to the side of the bed next to her. With what was left of her strength Athena scooted into his waiting arms. They laid there motionless for awhile, allowing their breathing to come back down and their minds to stop floating up with the stars. Ben’s fingers lazily danced across her sweaty skin, his thumb faintly running over the curve of her breasts. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy.” Athena perked up at that, “What?” He let out a sigh still tracing odd shapes, “People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you, I think fate was being harsh on you.” His words struck her by surprise, by his vulnerability and for how familiar his words sounded.  _ “ _ _ Simple, men like you don't care about people like me!”  _ It was she had said to him in his room on the Star Destroyer, when he was simply Kylo Ren and she was Athena Stryker. So much had changed since then, there were so many things she had not known. That she was a Force user descended from a well known Jedi Master, that General Organa had been her surrogate mother, that she had fallen in love with her son. Fate, Destiny, the Stars, the Force, and even the Maker seemed to have brought Ben and her together, there was no cruel hand by it. “Ben, stop. Fate was not being harsh on me, you’ve been the greatest gift of my life, despite it all.” His fingers stuttered in their movements, a heavy staggering sigh coming from his lips. She could feel his self hatred rise within, she could see it as plain as day written on his face. “I could never not love you.” She added, a silent tear rolling down his cheek in the process. He nodded, inhaling sharply as a few tears followed. He had been through so much over these years, over his whole life, and she simply wished she could have prevented all his pain. If only she had not been so naive and blind in their youth, perhaps she could have stopped the darkness from rising in him. “I-I’ve done so many bad things Athena, I don’t deserve anything of this.” She was unsure of how bloody his hands were, but working for the Resistance she had a pretty good idea. He did not say it, nor did he need to, but she could feel his regret, personal sorrow, and hatred. She was not sure what to say. Yes he had done atrocious things, she had to, but would he have survived if he had not? Would Snoke have spared him if he did not shed blood across the galaxy? She knew the answer and she knew he did too. He just needed to accept his past and learn to forgive himself, learn how to make amends for his mistakes. Instead of bringing death, he needed to bring life to the galaxy. Then he could return to the Light with her. He was already so close she could feel it. As long as she stayed by him he would turn. Pressing her hands against his wet cheeks, she consoled him. “Shush Ben, everything will be okay. I love you and you love me, that's all that matters.” He stayed silent as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him. She could feel the tears splashing onto her shoulder as Ben sunk into her hold. Everything would be okay, it had to be. 

Almost two weeks had gone by, Athena had been with Ben just shy of a month. The days seemed to blur together and speed past her. Their days continued on much like before: meals, activities, sunsets, but many hours, days, were spent in bed. Their hips rocking together roughly, his curls between her legs, their moans echoing throughout the house more than once a day. They were touch starved, spending every opportunity to be flushed together as one. A few sets of sheets had been ruined in the process. 

The night of her 24th day with Ben, the two were lying in the plush green grass of the garden after a lovely dinner. Left hands clasped together and eyes to the sky, watching the twinkling stars. She was content like this, could see herself never having another worry besides how sore she was from constantly having him between her legs. But there were worse things to worry over… ignorance could only be blissful for so long. “Do you remember the ball on Chandrila?” Ben’s eyes shifted away from the sky to look down at her, hers doing the same. “Yes, why do you ask?” Athena smiled softly, a glow to her skin. She felt so alive with him by her side everyday. “I was just thinking about how we danced all night.” Ben bit his bottom lip, the memory felt so far away his mind. “We did, didn’t we?” She nodded gently, her fingers dancing with his. She thought of their blue and purple bodies waltzing through the banquet hall, paying no mind to the rest of the people surrounding them. “I just remember how you stole my breath that night, one of the many times.” A large grin spread across her cheeks, eyes twinkling in love. “That was the first time I realized I wanted to be with you more than become a Jedi.” Ben tightened his grip on her hand, leaning over to press a chaste kiss to her cheek. They turned back to the stars, before Ben spoke up. “Becoming a Jedi was all my family ever wanted for me, to live up to that mighty Skywalker blood, and for awhile I wanted it too. But in retrospect, all I ever wanted was you, to have you by my side.” Her heart hammered in her chest, she was more important to him than his lineage. Athena leaned over and slowly kissed him, her tongue swiping across his bottom lip. Ben let out a hum and held her head in his massive hands. They stayed like that for awhile, mouths never moving far from each other as they continued to consume each other’s essence. “Dance with me, my wife.” Her eyes gleamed at his words, she took such pleasure in hearing him say the words it was almost too much to bear. Without a moment more, the two stood and fell effortlessly into each other’s embrace. Tucking her head against his, they took small steps dancing slowly. They needed no music, just one another as they swayed in the night sky, ignorant to the rest of the Galaxy. 

Ben watched as Athena ran back inside, only for a moment, to grab a sweater. The night becoming a little more frigid and the wind picking up. He stood in the garden, awaiting her return, a hopeful smile on his face. It fell almost immediately when he felt something in the Force, a presence. His eyes scanned the open fields in search of the unwelcome guest, his conscience chastising him for not keeping his saber on hand. “You can come out, I know you’re there!” He called into the darkness. A dark haired man stepped out from beside the other corner of the house, blaster drawn and pointing at Ben. He recognized him almost immediately, “Ah, the best pilot in the Resistance. I should’ve known you’d come.” The man gritted his teeth, his grip tightening on the blaster, “Where is she?” His voice wobbled, as if in fear. Ben knew the man did not fear him, not one bit, not even after his painful interrogation when he had captured him on Jakku. No, the pilot feared for Athena, feared what a monster like him would’ve done to her. Ben could hear his thoughts, he knew his mother had told him part of their history, and yet the pilot still believed he would have harmed her. He elected to ignore his question, his eyes vaguely flickering over to the door of the house. “Where’s the Jedi and traitorous Stormtrooper you’re friends with?” Ben turned the nonexistent spotlight back on the pilot, his eyes widening at the question. The dark haired man’s thought betrayed him, they both were close by along with the Millennium Falcon, his fathers ship.  “I said where is she?” The blaster shook for emphasis and Ben almost had the heart to laugh. “You’ll just have to shoot me.” The man across from him laughed, “That could be arranged.” Ben could sense him going for the trigger, his fingers itching at his sides in adrenaline, just waiting to stop it. The blue blast shot out from the blaster, stopping midway between the two men. Ben looked at the shot, exasperated. It was not him holding it in place… Two sets of eyes turned to find Athena standing there, arm outstretched locking the blast in place. In her other hand, she held her lightsaber, her thoughts giving her away too. She had thought it was the First Order, not Resistance. “Poe?!” She called clearly in shock. The pilot, Poe, let out a relieved sigh at the sight and sound of her. “Athena, you’re okay?” The utter disbelief in his voice made Ben release a snarl. 

Poe walked carefully towards Athena, his blaster still raised at Ben. “Yes why wouldn’t I be?” She answered him confused, letting go of the blast that shot past Ben into the distance. Poe gave her a look that seemed to silently ponder her sanity, but he dismissed it for the time being. “C’mon the ships just beyond that ridge, let’s get out of here.” His hand closed around her upper arm for a solid moment, before he was sent flying to the ground. Ben was quick to pull Athena behind him, “Don’t touch her!” Poe was up on his feet in a matter of seconds, blaster pointing at them both. Athena could sense his lack of understanding, until his eyes landed on her hand peeking out from behind Ben’s tall figure. More specifically, her left hand and the silver band wrapped around her ring finger. His silent questions seemed to be answered, his arm and blaster dropping down in shock. Ben let out a short huff of amusement, “Something the General forget to mention it seems.” Athena gave him a sympathetic look, trying to convey how sorry she was for Ben throwing him, how sorry she was that he had found something completely different than he had expected. “Poe, give them some time.” A feminine voice called out from behind them. Rey stood attentively, Luke’s blue lightsaber fastened time her belt. Her eyes fell onto Athena and Ben, a look of sadness swimming in them. She could feel Ben stiffen at her side as Poe stalked away towards Rey. The sight reminded her that there was a war raging on outside of this planet's atmosphere. A war Ben and her had a duty in. They could no longer hide in paradise. It was time to put an end to it. They had grown so close over the past few weeks, the Light practically surging out of him, now it was time to use their bond to save the Galaxy.

Once they were out of sight, Athena turned to Ben with a hopeful, anxious smile. “Come with us! We can put an end to all of this Ben.” Her hand extended outwards to him, his eyes staring blankly at it. She could feel his conflict rising once again, the Dark and Light fighting for dominance. Hope filled her, yes he could break free of the Dark and become Ben Solo once again. “I-I can’t Athena. I don’t belong there.” Her hope faded, the Dark creeping into his soul, twisting its menacing hooks further into him. She could feel the anger working its way to the surface in her, as she tried to repress the sadness. “You don’t belong with the First Order either!” Her words seemed to float right past him, his expression showing no indication that he even heard her. He shook his head slightly, “We could change things, end this war and rule side by side. Make things in our vision.” Her stomach dropped, she knew what he was implying. It was the same thing he had asked of her eleven years ago, on this very planet. “I can’t.” She tried to swallow her tears, but they were swimming in her eyes already. Deep down she knew what was coming. “Yes you can, I’ve seen it! You ruling by my side as my powerful Empress.” Tears fell at his words, he had a premonition of her going dark? She staggered back needing to put some space between them both. Her parents death swirled in her thoughts, reminding her of the darkness she had felt as a child. Perhaps she had always been tempted by the Dark side and it was the path she was destined to follow.  _ No!  _ This was not her, it was only a possible outcome of the future not her destiny. “It won’t happen, I won’t act on it.” Her statement was strong, stronger than her will had been moments ago. Even if she chose not to turn, she could not follow him. Not to the First Order, the very thing she had spent over a decade fighting against. Ben let out a frustrated sigh, the Light beginning to vanish inside. “I-I thought you were coming back to me…” His hardened eyes looked up to her, his silence providing her the answer. She had presumed wrong. How could she have been so foolish? He was never going to come back to the Light again, that was why he fought it so much. “You deceived me…” He took a step closer, “I never lied to you.” She scoffed lightly, another realization surfacing in her mind. “Let me guess, your meditation time… you were really contacting the First Order?” He fell silent at that and more tears fell in response. Her Ben was truly gone then, she could not stay by his side, not like this. Athena’s right hand enclosed around her left ring finger and ripped the silver band off roughly. A pain filled howl fell from Ben’s lips. “N-No, please not again. I can’t lose you again. Y-You’re my life.” Tears continued to slip down Athena’s face, her head shaking in disagreeance. “No, we were hormonal teenagers blinded by the idea of first love, we are nothing more than that.” She was hurt, her heart shattering just as it had been mended. “NO!” He barked loudly, “You don’t believe that, you don’t feel that. We were destined.” With that she stepped closer, grabbing a hold of his dangling hand. “No we weren’t.” Numbly she placed the tiny silver band into his massive palm. She closed his fist around it and looked up to him through his tears. “Goodbye Kylo Ren.” His lips wobbled, tears cascading down his cheeks as Athena turned away from him. Both of their hearts shattering into a million pieces as she left him. The skies began to cry as the two separated once again. Yes, they were destined, she had lied to him. Destined to love each other but never be within grasp. 

Crying silently to herself, she boarded the Falcon that was hidden just beyond the ridge. Rey, Poe, and Finn stood waiting at the top of the ramp, their eyes dropping at the sight of her. Rey stepped forward, her own sorrow clear as day on her face, she cared for him too. “He’s not coming.” Athena’s voice was barely above a whisper, her body trembling. Poe put a gentle hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry.” A part of her knew he was not all that sorry, why would anyone want Kylo Ren to join the Resistance? He only felt bad for her pain. She nodded numbly, Rey and her sharing sorrow filled looks. “Let’s go then.” The trio moved for the cockpit while Athena shuffled to the main hold, she did not want to be around anyone. She did not want their sympathy, no she wanted Ben. Another sob escaped her blubbering lips, he had hurt her again, and this time she could not forget. No she would carry this pain until the end of time, just as he would stay in her heart. The Falcon began to lift off the ground, her hand shooting out to stabilize her on the round table, dropping her saber. A weird sensation overcame her at the exact moment, Athena gasping at the feeling. She could feel more power surging through her from the Force, the power having a distinct energy to it.  _ Him.  _ They had connected through the Force somehow, their energy adjoining. She could feel his sadness, anger, and pain. And she knew he could feel hers. Her eyes fluttered shut trying to drown out his overpowering presence and Force. 

“We’re stuck!” Rey shouted, confused. The Falcon was stuck in midair, the thrusters not moving the ship at all. “What do you mean?” Poe stood behind the pilot’s chair, while Finn leaned over the co-pilot’s chair, where Chewie sat. Rey shook her head in confusion, she was not sure how it was possible but they could not move, they were locked in place. An intense shake began to rattle through the ship, jolting them around in the cockpit. A heart wrenching pain in her chest tore her attention away from the control panel, the girl immediately standing up. Outside of the cockpit windows, she could see the small house in the distance, and the dark figure that loomed outside its entrance in the pouring rain. She could feel his pain, his anger, and his sadness, but it felt intensified, like it was not just his. “It’s Kylo Ren, he’s holding us in place.” Finn exclaimed looking out the window as well. The exterior of the house seemed to be crumbling from an immense pressure, they could see chunks of it falling to the ground. Poe shifted over to see, a groan escaping his lips. “I don’t know why I assumed it would be so easy to rescue her, they’re so very obviously connected.” Rey’s eyes widened in realization,  _ connected.  _ The scavenger was quick on her feet, pushing past the boys and heading for the main hold of the ship. Finn and Poe shouted after her, afraid of what she was doing, before they chased after her too. The three came staggering into the main hold, finding a shocking sight. Athena stood in the center of the room, her arms outstretched and hands fisted, her eyes were closed as tears continued to fall. Boxes, supplies, and miscellaneous objects in the room were all floating around her. The Falcon continued to shake as Athena’s fists clenched tighter and Rey could feel her pain too. It mixed so well with Kylo’s she had not realized what was happening. They were connected through the Force, their combined power destroying the small house and holding the trembling Falcon in place. “What do we do?” Poe shouted over the creaking metal of the ship. Rey was unsure, she needed to do something or else they would destroy the Falcon. “I don’t - I don’t know!” The sacred Jedi texts had not disclosed anything about bonds like this, at the very least she had not read that part yet. Her concerning thoughts were silenced as a blast seemed to project out from Athena’s center, knocking the three down to the floor of the ship. At that moment the Falcon began to stop shaking and stuttered out of it’s locked place. “Punch it Chewie!” Rey shouted, still lying on the floor in a tangled heap with the two very confused boys. The Falcon quickly flew off into the sky, heading for space. Athena’s bright blue eyes shot open, glistening with tears, as she dropped to her knees. The objects floating around the room dropping with her. Rey could feel the connection was gone and so was the Force from Athena’s soul.

The connection was gone and all Athena felt was pain. She sobbed heavily into her hands as she sunk further into the floor, unaware of the watching eyes. No all she could see was the sweet brown eyes she had loved. She could bear to feel his pain, hers was enough, so without so much of a second thought she closed herself off from the Force. No Force, no each other. A vicious cycle they seemed to be repeating. 

  
  



	13. Secrets

The hallway was silent, no signs of life, as Athena poked her head out of her quarters. It was the middle of the night, everyone was asleep on the Resistance base, except for the occasional patrolling guard. Exiting her room, she tightened her grip on the brown duffel bag that she carried by her side. She was not defecting or deserting, in truth she wanted to stay, but it was no longer an option. She needed to put as much distance as she could between the First Order and her, and being a member of the Resistance she was bound to run into them at some point. It was no longer safe to stay, it was time to go. 

_ The ramp on the Falcon slowly lowered itself, revealing the night sky and the crowd that awaited their return. A mission to rescue a Resistance member who had been captured by the First Order for a long period of time, seemed to gather quite a lot of attention. Athena hovered in the back, allowing for the four to descend first. She was still shaking, eyes watering, and heart in agony. Cheers were heard as Finn and Chewie exited out of the ship and then even more for Poe and Rey. “Did you find Commander Stryker? Does she need medical support? Someone get the medical team over here stat!” The applause and questions seemed to halt when she came into view, everyone’s eyes staring in disbelief. “Wasn’t she being held captive by the First Order?” One hushed voice drifted across the deadly silent crowd of members. “She was gone for almost a month, how is she not dead?” “Dead? There’s not even a scratch on her!” “She’s even in a dress!” Athena’s arms clenched tighter around her frame as she tried to ignore the whispers coming from the Resistance members. They were right, why was a highly ranking Resistance member not bruised, bloodied, and beaten to a pulp by the hand of the First Order? If they only knew what their Supreme Leader had done to her heart. With her head down, Athena followed closely behind her rescuers into the Command Center, where more eyes followed. “Dameron, I explicitly denied you the right to leave this base! All four of you disobeyed direct command I hop-” A familiar voice shouted from the Center, but her rant stopped as Poe, Rey, Finn, and Chewie stepped to the sides revealing Athena. Her blue eyes lifted to the source of the shouting, finding a sight that made her heart wrench even more. “Athena?” General Organa breathed out in surprise, turning to look at Poe. “You found them?” Poe nodded, head held high despite despite the eventual repercussions of his defiance. “I told you I would.” Leia exhaled, taking in Athena’s disheveled sight, her eyes not so discreetly searching the crowd behind the crying girl. No doubt searching for a tall black haired man. “L-Lele” Athena’s voice cracked, fresh tears pouring down. “You remember…” Leia whispered, confounded once again. She only nodded and rushed into the woman’s arms, completely breaking down again. Leia held her close, feeling the pain that surrounded her aura, stroking her messy hair. “Clear the room!” Poe shouted. Everyone was quick to leave, retiring for the night or returning to their duties. Leaving the General and the Commander she loved so dearly. Athena stayed in Leia’s arms sobbing, her knees wobbling from the sorrow. “I-I lost him again!” She cried out, Leia’s eyes watering as she quietly reminded the girl it was not her fault. _

That had been a month ago, she had been away from him for a month. Athena tried to bury herself in work, in bringing the First Order crumbling down, in forgetting. But she never could, it was always on the back of her mind, and now it was time to leave. Resorting to running away in the middle of the night, without so much as a goodbye. She had no other choice. 

_ A knock came at her door, pulling Athena out of her wallowing thoughts. She had barely left her room the past few days, still attempting to deal with her pain. “Go away Poe!” she shouted, quite annoyed with her neighbor’s constant pestering. She was not necessarily mad at him, he had thought she was in trouble, and _ ** _him_ ** _ and her could not continue living in their little pretend world forever, but she was tired of the constant apologies. She only wanted to forget it ever happened. “Its - Its not Poe.” A distinct voice called from the other side of the door. Athena sat up, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. She made her way to the door, pressing the button on the side panel, allowing for it to open. Rey stood before her, an uneasy look etched onto her face, hands hidden behind her back. “I’m sorry Rey, I didn’t know it was you.” She apologized hastily. Rey shook her head, “It’s alright.” The young Jedi’s eyes fell as she shifted her weight onto the balls of her feet, clearly nervous. “What’s wrong?” Rey let out a sigh, lifting her eyes, “I need your help.” Athena’s one brow quirked up, “My help? With what?” She was unsure what use she would be in such a state. Rey let out an uneasy laugh, revealing the two items she held behind her back. Athena sucked in a large gulp of air at the sight, eyes looking up to the young woman in questioning. “When I was with Luke, he mentioned a padawan who was strong in the Force, strong enough to take his nephew, strong with her lightsaber.” Rey’s hand extended out more, balancing Athena’s lightsaber. She had purposefully left it on the Falcon the night they returned with the intention of never wielding it again. “I can’t fight him Rey…” Athena muttered, her sadness surfacing once again. Rey nodded hand still outstretched, “I know I wouldn’t expect you to. And I know you closed yourself off to the Force, but could you train me? You and _ ** _Ben _ ** _ trained together Luke said, you must fight alike.” Athena winced at his name, the name of the boy she had fallen in love with, his real name. She had blocked out his name solely referring to him as Kylo Ren, it felt like another person when she did. Perhaps because when he had taken on that mantra, he had become someone else. “You’ve beaten him before, why do you need my help?” Rey let out a loud sigh, filled to the brim with anxiety. Athena was sure if she was still connected to the Force, she would have felt how distressed her aura was. Even without, she could see the stress weighing on the young woman’s shoulders. “I just - I need to get better, stronger. Everyone is looking to me to step into Luke’s shoes and… it's just a lot.” Athena’s eyes fell in shame. She should be helping the girl, not hiding away like some laser brain. It was not like her, even with no memory of who she was, she still had joined the Resistance to help others. “I’ll train you, but we must go far into the Jungle. The Resistance cannot see me handling a saber, too many questions would arise and the truth would eventually come out. I could be branded a traitor to the cause.” The base had all been told a lie, to protect Athena. She had escaped the First Order rather quickly and crash landed on a deserted planet where she waited to be found. No mentions of Kylo Ren, of her remembered past, or her Force sensitivity. It was the only way to explain why she was not injured or malnourished. If anyone else found out about her previous relationship with Kylo, the Resistance would begin to question where her loyalties lay. Rey nodded solemnly,“When do we start?” Athena plucked her lightsaber from the girl, trying to bury the resurfacing memories, “At dawn.” _

_ As the sun began to rise casting an orange hue over the far off Resistance base, Athena and Rey sat on the moist ground of the jungle. “I’m sorry, but I thought you were going to teach me to be stronger during a fight?” Rey questioned unsure as to why they were sitting down cross legged. Athena quirked up an eyebrow at her, had Luke not disclosed the importance of mastering the Force? Silently she was cursing his Force Ghost. He had left her with one hell of a mess. “I am but you have to know how to connect to the Force to become better.” Rey nodded along, “So I control it better.” “No.” Athena shook her head, if she ever saw Luke’s Ghost she would surely have a word with him. “We don’t control the Force nor does it control us. We simply harness it and it guides us. It’s a symbiotic relationship.” Rey remained silent, urging Athena to go on. “Do you recall the first moment you realized you were Force sensitive? I was no older than two and I remember lying in the meadow with my parents and lifting my rattle.” Athena swallowed thickly recalling the summer afternoon with her parents before everything. She knew she was not alone, but she felt it nonetheless. Rey seemed to look down at the palm of her hands, contemplating. “I thought it was on Starkiller Base, but I always knew something was there especially after one night. It was over ten years ago, I had been on Jakku for a few years by then, and I just remember waking with this awful feeling of pain and suffering. It was gone as soon as it started and in its place I felt this calling, this swell of Light in me.” Athena pursued her lips at her words, dissecting them. Over ten years ago… her eyes widened, Rey had begun to feel her call to the Force, the day Athena closed herself off to it. Darkness rises and Light to meet it... _

Athena slipped past a patrolling guard, stepping out onto the hangar ground. The sky was pitch black, the stars twinkling ever so slightly as she made her way to her X-Wing. She hated leaving, it made her feel like she was deserting her friends, family, and cause. But this was about something bigger than herself now, something she had to protect. Stepping onto the ladder leaning against the X-Wing, Athena hauled herself up and tossing her duffel bag into the waiting ship. “Leaving without saying goodbye, huh? You definitely got that from Han, no doubt about it.” She turned around on the ladder, finding Leia exiting out onto the hanger in a long nightgown and robe, her hair down and free. Athena was surprised, how did she know she was leaving? “I didn’t want anyone to know.” She called back, climbing down the ladder, hoping the woman was not here to stop her. She could not be stopped, her mind was already made up. Leia greeted her at the bottom, a knowing look on her face. “You don’t say? Leaving in the dead of night, I wouldn’t have guessed.” Leia’s words were oozing with sarcasm and Athena could only let out a short laugh. “I’m not defecting, you know?” The General nodded, eyes holding such intensity it made Athena want to back down from her decision. “I know,” Leia paused her hands gripping Athena’s upper arms, “Athena this could be the thing to save him.” The young woman gulped, “You-You know?” Athena racked her mind, searching for any indication of when she slipped up, revealing that she would be running from the war. To her knowledge there had not been a single moment, she had taken precautions. Leia quirked an eyebrow up at her, obviously displeased by her tone of shock. “Of course I do, I’ve only known you since you were four. I know when you are hiding something.” Athena let out a sigh, knowing there was no she could even deny it now. “He can’t know Leia. You can’t tell him. I wasn’t enough to turn him or even keep him from turning.” Athena let out a harsh laugh, tears swimming in her eyes. “This won’t save him either, the only thing that can save Ben, is himself. And I’m not so sure he wants to be saved.” Leia inhaled sharply, “I won’t tell him, I won’t tell anyone.” Athena breathed out in relief, tears slipping down her cheeks as she thanked the General. “Where will you go?” Athena shrugged lightly, “Somewhere he won’t look, somewhere where he won’t ever realize I left the Resistance.” Leia nodded in agreement, it was best if she stayed hidden. “Send word when you are safe, wherever. Don’t tell me where though, can’t risk the First Order intercepting it.” Athena concurred with a curt nod, that was the last thing she wanted, the First Order finding her. There was already a mandated order floating around the First Order that if any Stormtrooper identified her that she would need to be brought to the Supreme Leader unharmed. Poe’s informants had heard the news and relayed the information and she had experienced it first hand.

_ Rey and Athena danced around each other in the early morning sun, lightsabers raised and pointing at one another. “Breathe Rey, just breathe.” Athena reminded her. “Feel the Force surrounding you and every living thing. Let it guide you.” Rey took a deep breath, closing her eyes momentarily. Her concentration and Athena’s lesson was cut short by a loud ringing noise sounding in the distance. The two women stared at each other, eyes wide, before they took off back towards base. Athena carefully concealed her saber in her small satchel as they came out of the clearing and onto the landing strip. A group had assembled outside surrounding the higher ranking officials. Finn and Poe were pushing their way through the crowd, eyes scanning in search of someone. Finn’s eyes suddenly fell on them and pointed, the two men scrambling over. “Finn! What’s going on?” Rey questioned as the four merged together in the center of the landing strip. “We got a mission.” Finn answered bumping his shoulder into Rey “The four of us.” Poe clarified. “What?” Athena gulped, unsure whether she was ready to go back into the field. To face all the possibilities. “It’s nothing crazy, just gathering supplies on a neighboring system.” Poe added, reading the concern on her face. “Then what was the siren for?” Rey pondered. “Some of the other pilots have to escort new recruits to the base, The First Order seems to be getting close.” Finn informed and everyone nodded, moving towards the Falcon. Athena felt the fear rise in her, scared to come anywhere near the First Order. Poe informant’s had gotten ahold of him the other day, stating that there was a hefty reward being offered to First Order members if they found a Resistance member with large burn tissue scarring the right side of her neck. Kylo wanted her back and it seemed he would result to anything just for it to happen. _

_ Landing on the nearby planet of Thalrira, the village situated on top of a dry mountain range, the friendly natives greeted the four with open arms. They were people who sympathized with the Resistance cause. Poe and Finn got started right away with loading up the Falcon with the medical and food supplies the village was donating while Athena and Rey loaded up the fabrics and boxes of devices and new equipment. Setting down the last box, Athena stepped off the ship to thank the villagers along with the rest of her group. Outside the ramp, she was met with a sight that made her stomach drop. Stormtroopers had circled around the four of them, their own weapons raised back at them. Their helmets raised at the sight of her, looking at her exposed scar. “Get her!” Ordered one, two of the six stepping forward to grab her. But Athena was quicker than them, her hand dipping into the satchel to retrieve her lightsaber. Purple light illuminated on the Stormtroopers white uniforms before Athena drove her saber straight through one’s chest, quickly doing the same to the other. She jumped over the three, saber raised at the other four Stormtroopers. She blocked their blasts and quickly took them all down, Poe and Finn staring at her in shock. “Is this what you guys do in the jungle every morning?” Finn asked. “I didn’t know you could do all that!” Poe exclaimed after. Normally Athena would find their banter humorous but thundering footsteps behind squandered the opportunity. She turned to see another group of Stormtroopers stalking forward, and turned back to the group of Resistance members, “Ready?” Rey bent down and received her saber from one of the fallen Troopers, “Always.” The two women smirked at each other as Finn and Poe retrieved their blasters. They all nodded to each other as Rey and Athena took off first, the boys providing them cover. Athena and Rey were quick on their feet, bodies dropping to the ground with a thud with purple and blue light whirling along the way. Poe and Finn having a shootout with a few Stormtroopers. Driving her lightsaber through the last Stormtrooper, Athena let out a sigh of relief. She was unsure how the First Order had found them but it scared her. “We better get out of here before more show up.” Poe informed, wiping away the sweat gathering on his brow. Everyone nodded eagerly, turning for the Falcon, but more thundering steps were approaching. Another group of Stormtroopers were emerging from a First Order transporter just beyond, a group of six black dressed men following closely behind them… The Knights of Ren. Athena gulped, eyeing her surroundings, did that mean their Master was here too? She could not face him. “Athena you have to go, we got it from here!” She looked back to her friends, fear evident in her eyes, “N-No, I can stay. I can fight.” Her voice shook as she tried to feign strength, twirling her saber for good measure. “You’re no use if you get captured.” Poe pointed out, ushering her behind them all. “Go, we’ll meet you at the rendezvous point!” With that the three took off, weapons pointing at the incoming group. Athena exhaled shakingly and ran on board of Falcon, heading straight for the cockpit. With familiar ease, she lifted the Falcon off the ground and flew off, to the cave just beyond the mountain range. The designated rendezvous point where she hoped her friends would arrive safely too. Inside she turned off the lights and sunk into the pilot’s seats, sobbing into the palms of her hands. She was endangering everyone just because of her stupid naive self, it was not right. _

They had barely escaped that day and after that Athena was not permitted to step off of the base, she was a dangerous to everybody. “Tell Rey I’m sorry I wasn’t able to finish training her.” Leia smiled gently, “Don’t worry, I’ll help her finish her training.” Athena nodded, tears beginning to quickly escape her eyes. “Tell them I love them and I’m so sorry.” She thought of Chewie who she had known since childhood, of Poe since she was nineteen, and of Rey and Finn who felt like the younger siblings she never had. “Ath honey, its okay. They’ll understand.” She shook her head, collapsing into Leia’s embrace. “No they won’t, they’ll think I deserted. They’ll never know the real reason, not as long as this war continues. Maybe even after that.” Leia stroked her hair, shushing her blabbering nonsense. “If they know you at all, they will know there was a reason.” Her words seemed to calm her down, but the tears still continued. All these emotions seemed to whirl around in her, bringing things she never said to light. “I never said thank you Leia.” Athena mumbled into the woman’s shoulder. “For what dear?” The General’s voice sounded puzzled. “For this life. For taking me in, giving me a home, a place to feel safe in, for giving me h-h-him.” She hiccuped at the end, squeezing Leia tighter. “Despite it all, it’s been one amazing life.” She pulled away, taken aback by the tears in Leia’s eyes. She was not sure she had ever seen the woman cry. Leia opened her mouth to say something, but to squeeze so many feelings into such little words it was difficult, so in return Athena just squeezed her hands. “I know Lele.” The woman let out a wet laugh and released her hands. “Be safe.” Athena nodded and backed away, clambering back up the ladder. “Athena!” The General called once more and she quickly looked down to the small woman who had been like a mother to her. “May the Force be with you.” Athena let out a chuckle tears still pooling in her eyes, “May the Force be with you!” She was unsure if she would ever see the woman again and something inside her broke at the thought. She quickly turned away, starting up the X-Wing, the engine roaring to life, and slowly began to lift up into the sky. With one last wave, Athena disappeared into the night.

“General Organa! We have an unsanctioned departure!” A patrol member shouted running up to the woman. Leia only smirked watching the X-Wing jump into hyperspace, fading into the stars, “Don’t worry, they had authorization.” 

Athena landed in the clearing of the vivacious forest, the light blue roofs barely peeking out over the trees in the distance. She hoped it had been smart to come here, she hoped she could disappear here. During her flight, all she could think of was this place and how it only seemed fitting. If she was smart, the First Order would never know she left, and if so no one would ever think to look here. Especially him. It was her objective to fade into the Galaxy and never be seen or heard from again, besides the occasional message she would need to send Leia. This planet would hopefully grant her her wish. She climbed out of the cockpit, tossed her duffel bag down, and jumped down into the grass. She looked up finding the treeline above to be perfectly concealing her X-Wing. Always one to be overly cautious, Athena cut down a few surrounding shrubs and placed them overtop her ship, hoping it would do the job. Hauling her duffel bag up she started the trek down to the villa that would become her new home. It had been years since she had been here and quite frankly the last time she was, was a painful memory. The warm sunlight trickled in through the tree coverage, reminding Athena just how confining her white high neck sweater and brown pants were. She was most certainly not dressed for the year long warm that graced this planet. Stepping out onto the cobblestone pathway, her eyes lifted to the magnificent villa, Varykino. It was dead silent, no signs of life, she suspected the summer villa had been long deserted. There were no other surviving family members to reside here anyways, it would be just her for awhile. Her black standard issue Resistance boots clicking against the stone as she made her way towards the front of the villa, that had a perfect view of the endless blue that stressed across the beautiful planet. She first smelled the sweet fragrance of cherry blossoms, then the sound of lapping water, before she finally emerged to find the place that made her heart ache. It was silly of her to assume that it would not affect her by picking this place. The place they had married, oh so long ago. Her throat seemed to close, maybe picking Naboo was not the best idea, let alone the family’s long abandoned inherited estate. But she had no other choice, no one would look for her here, she could live out the rest of her days here peacefully. Athena turned away to face the large wooden doors, finding it strange that they were open. Stepping inside, she expected to find dust to be covering every square inch of the house, but instead she found it oddly cleaned. She dropped her duffel bag in shock and moved silently through the house in examination. Something was not right.

A soft creak sounded from behind her and Athena wasted no time igniting the purple lightsaber that was strapped to her waist and pointing it wildly at the source. An old woman with olive skin, braided up gray hair, and transfixing green eyes stood before her carrying a basket full of freshly made loaves of bread. The greens of her dress seem to reflect into her intense gaze, eyeing Athena’s purple lightsaber. The two women were silent as they stared at each other, eyes attempting to read the other. “For someone on the run, you use quite the distinguishable weapon.” Her voice was low, sweet, and raspy, bringing Athena to the realization she was pointing her lightsaber at a frail elderly woman. “I’m not on the run.” She tried to defend but the woman only pointingly looked at the saber. She exhaled lowly, turning off her saber and sheathing it back on her belt. “I’m sorry, you frightened me.” The woman nodded in forgiveness and moved past her to the large table in the back of the villa, Athena following instinctively. The elderly woman placed the basket of bread down on the glass table, turning quickly to face her, eyes narrowing in realization. “Naberrie blood.” Athena furrowed her eyebrows, in confusion. “What?” The woman’s green eyes scanned her body, an unreadable look in them as she did. “I sense Naberrie blood.” Athena was puzzled at her statement, was this woman insane? How could she sense blood? Let alone the bloodline of Senator Amidala’s family? A part of her knew why, but she could not admit that. Not to a strange woman. “You must be mistaken, I’m not related to Senator Amidala, I just knew the family that was. That’s why I’m seeking shelter here.” The woman only lifted an eyebrow at her words, a smirk falling onto her paling lips. Athena wanted to squirm under the pressure, hoping the woman would not see through her lies. “I see with more than just my eyes dear. Naberrie blood.” She reiterated herself and Athena shrunk down into herself, knowing the woman knew her secret. The woman looked at her with such sincerity, she had no choice but to trust her. Mutely, Athena confirmed her words. The woman pursued her lips in satisfaction, her wrinkled hands grasping onto her tightly. “You will be safe here, the Villa is yours. Princess Organa has had me looking over it for the past few decades, but the Villa belongs to the family of the Naberrie.” Athena shook her head, graciously thanking the woman for her kindness. She was relieved, knowing she could find refuge here, where he would never find out the truth. “What is your name dear?” She contemplated lying, using a false name, but Leia had trusted this woman, meaning she could too. “Athena Stryker.” A wrinkled finger lifted from her tight grasp, waving it tauntingly in front of Athena. “Your real name child.” The woman was already far too perceptive for her liking, she had a feeling they would get along well. “Ji-” A tisk flew from the elderly woman’s mouth, halting her word. The green eyes seemed to stare into her soul and Athena knew she was asking her once again, _ “Your real name child.” _She gulped, eyes casting outwards to the endless water of Naboo, remembering the white and purple flowers and the hushed words of promise. Her eyes drooped, her heart already too broken to crack more, but it felt like a boot squashed down on the broken fragments of it. She turned back to the waiting woman, eyes watering as always. “Solo, Athena Solo.” The old woman hummed in content at her confession, her wrinkled finger wiping away a stray tear. “Ah, the bride from so long ago.” Athena nodded numbly, her arms wrapping around herself protectively. “My name is Euora Accu, come I will show you around.” 

The sun shone brightly in the sky, reflecting against the glistening blue water as Athena watched it from underneath the shade of the large tree. The tree she had been married under. Euora had retreated to her small hut hidden in the treeline for the rest of the afternoon, promising to return later for dinner, leaving Athena to her thoughts. The past week had flown by so unrealistically fast, she had had no time to process anything. From trying to keep her secret from the Resistance and First Order to running away to Naboo. It was all so much, what this new chapter of her life would hold was nothing short of unfamiliar and frightening. She wished she could reconnect to the Force, ask for guidance on where to go from here, but she would risk Kylo and her connecting. It could not happen, he could not find her, he could not find out she left and why. There were so many secrets whirling around in her head, she felt lightheaded. The past eleven years of her life had been one big secret, one she had not remembered, so what was the next few decades? But many questions arose with it. Would she tell them who she really was? Who he was really was? Or would their lives be lies too? So many uncertainties plagued her mind it was frightening. 

Athena’s thoughts derailed at the blurry sight of something standing down on the lower level by the docks. She squinted her eyes and an audible gasp soon fell from her lips. She took in a sprint, stumbling rapidly down the flight of stone stairs, stopping behind the blurry object. It was a woman, watching the lapping waves, who was not fully tangible, a blue light edging her frame. Athena stepped forward, stopping at the woman’s side to see her fully. She wore a rich blue dress that made her appear to blend into the water. Her brown hair was long, curly, and decorated with many little flowers and colorful ribbon. A hand hung by her side, fingers holding a necklace tightly. She was beautiful, a true vision, and oddly familiar looking. The woman’s warm brown eyes turned to her, a soft smile on her peachy lips. “Athena.” Her voice was soft, as she greeted her, but Athena was startled the Force Ghost knew her name. Her eyes narrowed observing the woman closely, the beauty mark on her one cheek and warm brown eyes seeming to connect the internal dots. She suddenly saw Leia in the woman, than Luke, and Ben… “Senator Amidala?” She was in complete dismay staring at the young beautiful matriarch of the Skywalker family. How was this possible? “Padmé.” Padmé corrected her ushering her in closer. “H-How is this possible? Were you Force sensitive? Why are you here?” Athena rifled off still struggling to process the image before her. She had never seen a Force Ghost before, only ever reading about them in the Jedi texts. “Oh no,” Padmé laughed lightly, “I was never Force sensitive. My husband, son, and your great uncle are using their powers from the Netherworld to project me here before you.” Athena nodded in astonishment, the words ringing in her ears. “Is everyone okay? Luke? Qui-Gon? Wait your husband? Anakin is in the Netherworld?” Dark side Force users did not reside in the Netherworld and if Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, how was he there? Padmé smiled at her, enjoying her look of bewilderment. “Everyone is alright dear, Luke and Qui-Gon are quite proud of you. They knew you seeked guidance and we all deemed I was the best suited to talk to you. And yes, my husband is in the Netherworld, a fact my son and daughter should have told Ben and you. Could have spared this family the additional pain.” Athena clenched her jaw, that meant Anakin had been turned back to the light before death. A fact that most definitely could have prevented Kylo from turning, prevented her from losing him and her memory, and her now being all alone. She could not focus on that, not now, no she needed to know what guidance Padmé would provide her. Padme seemed to read her suffering and terror, a gentle hand coming up to rest on her cheek. Athena could not feel her but the notion was comforting nonetheless. “I wanted to tell you that everything is going to be okay.” She nodded rapidly trying to fight the tears rising, but to no avail they began to trickle down her cheeks. “I’m frightened.” She cried, arms trembling as they wrapped around herself. “I don’t want him to find out, but at the same time I wish he was here by my side through it all.” Padmé nodded, her own tears reflecting in her eyes. “I understand. I was scared too and just wanted Ani through it all. But Athena you cannot let this fear and sadness control you, you have to rise above it.” Athena agreed, wiping away her tears. She had left the Resistance to protect her secret, came to Naboo to be safe, and she would be strong and fight through it. Padmé’s words seemed to pull her mind out of the darkness and remind her of her strength. She had been a powerful Jedi, a resourceful Resistance fighter, and now she would be strong, without him. “Thank you.” Athena smiled softly and the woman grinned back. “Euora will help you, her father used to look over the house when I was a girl. Everything will be okay.” She reminded her with a telling grin. Athena could see where Leia had gotten her unwavering strength and was thankful the women had passed it along to her. She stepped back from Padmé, now with the determination and confidence that everything would be okay. Just before she faded away, Padmé issued one last piece of advice, “When choosing the room, might I suggest the one overlooking the gardens? It was where I wanted theirs to be.” Athena let out a wet laugh in acknowledgement, “I agree, that sounds quite lovely.” Padmé grinned, her eyes looking up to the towering peaks of Varykino. A content hum floated out from her lips and soon her beautiful figure faded away, leaving Athena alone. Except she was not alone, she smiled to herself heading back up the steps. In fact she had everything she needed

  
  



	14. Redemption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TROS spoilers (It’s not really spoilers but I based it off of tv spots and what I hope happens in the upcoming movie, I totally understand if some of you wait to read until after seeing the movie!)

Rey took deep ragged breaths, watching the cloud of moisture splash across the floating Death Star wreckage. She knew he was coming, she could sense it, and the next fight about to occur. They had run into each other so much over the past couple days: Pasana, the fight on the Star Destroyer, and now this. It was tiring, the same relentless fight, and she was beginning to lose faith in herself and this battle.  _ “Breathe Rey, just breathe. Let it guide you.”  _ Athena’s disembodied voice reminded her. Stars, she wished she had had more time with her before she disappeared. If she had perhaps she would feel ready to face him again, but Rey knew the truth. She was never ready to face him, not while hope still burned in her. A large wave crashed over the floating debris when Rey finally saw the red crackling light of his saber through the mist. His towering black figure emerged from the spray of water, his inky black hair stuck to his face. He glared at her with such intensity it caused her to shake with anticipation. Their previous fights would not compare to this, no too much rage was building in them, waiting for this. She knew he was furious with her for taking Athena, blamed everyone for ruining their bliss, but he could only truly blame himself. Kylo twirled his saber as he stalked forward and Rey tightened her grip on hers, readying herself for the inevitable.

Kylo sneered at the sight of her, unwelcome painful memories surfacing in response. He had not seen or felt Athena through the Force in so long, not since the night they connected, the night she left. They’re combined powers demolishing their sanctuary and their bond. Now he was just as alone as he was before. The only comfort he felt was the fact she was alive, just not with him. A twisted part of him hoped she was nearby, hidden with the Resistance members, and he could get just a glimpse of her face. But did he really want her to see him fight Rey? He knew he did not want her to see this side of him, the last time she had she left. All because he was unwilling to turn. How pathetic he felt, all this power he had accumulated and still he was nowhere near what he truly desired. He shook away the thoughts that plagued him endlessly and swung at Rey. 

Rey easily deflected his strike with her lightsaber and the two continued their assault on each other, their inner aggression boiling over. Each hit was meticulous both dominating. She had grown stronger thanks to her brief training with Athena and Leia who had taken over after her mysterious disappearance. She swung her saber forward, spinning into the hit. Kylo moved to strike at her again, but Rey’s hand shout out stopping his lightsaber in mid-air. Kylo struggled against the hold, but he could not free his saber. “Stop this Ben! Think of Athena!” Kylo’s eyes softened for a moment, his struggling halting. If only she knew how much he did think of her, she never left his thoughts. Her smile, her confessions of love, her embraces, her leaving and denying their love. He swallowed thickly, “Don’t talk about her, she hates me!” He had dared to ask her to join him even when he swore to himself he never would, not again. That was how he lost her the first time, he never intended to repeat that. Those glowing yellow eyes still haunted him, the look of hurt on her face when he refused to come, the anger that arose when she told him they were nothing. How could she not hate him? He hated himself. Rey scoffed, her hand still suspending his saber. “Maybe she wouldn’t if you hadn’t put that bounty on her head!” Kylo shook with anger at her reminder. “I told you I would never do that!” Rey only rolled her eyes, tired of his lies, her hand releasing his saber. She knew she was not going to break through to him, not when he continued to deny everything. Kylo was quick to resume his attack on her, his pain driving his assault forward. Rey dodged it and the two fought across the wreckage, wobbling at the shift in the water and slippery surface. Clash after clash the two were relentless as Kylo heard a soft echo from beyond.  _ “Ben.”  _ The voice was soft, he knew it better than his own, Athena. The distraction tore his attention away from the fight, his brown eyes scanning the waters for the brunette he loved so dearly. Was she here? He found nothing beside the traitorous Stormtrooper and another young woman standing beside him, their eyes trained back on them. She was not here, he knew that. 

A loud groan escaped his lips as he crumbled down, Rey’s lightsaber retracting from his side. He fell slack to the surface of the Death Star in pain, Rey hovering over him, breathing harshly as her eyes observed him intensely. She looked regretful despite it all, but an upset almost dark edge worked its way into her voice as she spoke. “How could she ever love you?” Rey spit, distraught over the fact that her friend was hiding from him, whether he had mandated the order or not. Athena was missing because of him and she could not even have the satisfaction of telling him. No, she promised Leia he would never find out, for Athena’s sake. According to the lie she told him on Pasana, Athena was stuck on base because she was a danger to the Resistance the minute she left. All because of the bounty he denied putting on her, claiming he would never force him to join him. Kylo’s defeated eyes stared back up at her, pain clear in them. She wondered if it was from his wound or her words. She almost asked, wanting to dig the knife in deeper, but instead she turned to leave him to rot, to leave him with his overpowering regret. 

Kylo watched as Rey vanished into the crashing waves, the former Stormtrooper and woman escaping with her. “I don’t know.” His answer went unheard as he dropped his head back onto the metal. He closed his eyes at the burning sensation in his side, savoring in the feeling of the pain. He had felt so numb since she had left, this seemed to be the only reminder he was alive. But what was considered living? This was no life. This constant anger, regret, and sadness that lived in him was not what life was. He had struggled with the inner darkness his whole life, he could not recall a time before the dark thoughts, but had fought them for her. His light, oh how he had let her down. Yes they had been young naive children but he still loved her as much as he did the day they said their vows. Yet, the darkness had grown, he was manipulated all these years by power-hungry Dark side users, becoming the fearsome Kylo Ren in return. He had made so many mistakes, so many things to atone for. But was he too late? 

“It’s not too late.” A deep voice called out to him. Kylo opened his eyes and sat up, his burning wound making itself known once again. His dark eyes tried to focus on the image in front of him, but it was difficult. It looked like a man, but something was off about him. Kylo blinked his eyes once again, trying to fight the dizziness, finally honing in on the man before him. He was edged by an ethereal blue light, his body not fully solid. His light brown hair was curly, blue eyes watching him with a small scar running down his right eye. He wore brown and taupe colored Jedi robes and a stoic expression. He was familiar, Kylo knew him from somewhere, but still was unsure of who the Force Ghost was standing in front of him. “Who are you?” His voice was thick with skepticism, eyeing the ghost strongly. His grip tightened on his lightsaber even if he knew it would do the ghost no harm. The man laughed at him, a deep true laugh, eyes never straying from his. “You already know Ben.” Kylo furrowed his eyebrows, no he did not. He would not have asked if he did. He shook his head in defiance, “No I’m afraid I don’t.” The man only grinned, Kylo was unsure what was so amusing about all of this. Was this even real? Perhaps his pain had made him black out, why else would a former Jedi be standing before him? “You’re as stubborn as your grandmother,” The man paused quirking an eyebrow at Kylo, “I’m Anakin Skywalker.” The name vibrated deep inside Kylo, the air knocked from his lungs. He was silent staring wide-eyed at the ghost, the ghost of his grandfather, the Chosen One. The Jedi who became the fearsome Lord Vader, a Dark side Force user. How was he in the Netherworld? Adorned in Jedi robes nonetheless? “How?” Was all he could muster out, still in disbelief. Anakin smile dropped, swallowing thickly before beginning. “I turned to the Dark side, that much is true, but as my children neglected to tell you is that I turned back.” Kylo was flabbergasted, the man who’s legacy he had chased, idolizing, had turned back to the Light before death? He felt as if he was intertwined in a web of lies, not knowing where one started and ended.

“Ben it’s not too late.” His grandfather reiterated, bending down to Kylo and his hand stretching out. Kylo felt his side begin to tingle and soon the burning was gone. He was healed! He looked up to his grandfather his bottom lip wobbling ever so slightly, tears in his eyes. “Isn’t it though? I’ve done so much damage.” Anakin only shook his head, a soft smile on his face. “No it’s never too late. Turn back to the Light Ben and put an end to all of this as I failed to do so all those years ago.” Kylo shook under his gaze, absorbing his words. These voices had controlled him, isolated him from his family, until he no longer existed, and only a shell was left. He had put so much blame on everyone else when he needed to realize who was truly at fault. Yes, he had been coerced to the Dark side by other events, but one pulled the strings behind the curtain. He grew angry at the realization at the darkness that surrounded his life, his family, all because of one. This needed to end, the accumulation of events over the decades, through the generations, all led to this. Kylo nodded closing his eyes. He felt the light inside him grow, he willed it to. He stopped fighting allowing for his true self to break free. No more chasing the past, chasing the legacy of the Skywalker name. No he would do just as young Athena had told him, be himself. He thought of his mother, the woman who loved him so much, even through all the torture he had put her through. He thought of his father, the man who sacrificed himself in hopes that it would save his son. He thought of his uncle, the man who cared so deeply for nephew’s future that he was scared, and Kylo had mistaken it for fear of him. He thought of Athena, his wife who had stood by his side and loved him endlessly despite his mistakes. The woman who had fought for him when he felt no one else had. He would fight for them now, to bring this all to a conclusion. The barricades of the darkness shattered into millions of tiny pieces and he inhaled sharply, free. “So much awaits you my dear boy, you have no idea.” His eyes opened to watch as his grandfather stood back up and Ben Solo rose with him. 

Ben and Rey stood next to each other, eyes up and observing the haunting figure perched on his throne chair. Emperor Palpatine. The Sith Lord Ben’s grandfather sacrificed himself to kill, who somehow cheated death. The man who had toyed with his family for too many generations. It would end now. “Everything I have planned is coming together at long last.” The Emperor's raspy voice croaked out. His beady yellow eyes watched them almost tauntingly, but Rey and him held strong, ignited lightsabers gripped tightly. “I planned for such different outcomes for you both. Rey you were suppose to give into the darkness in you and you!” His bony finger pointed accustionally at Ben. “You weren’t supposed to turn back. I had made sure of it. I killed that girls' parents just to ensure it would all go accordingly!” Ben’s stance faltered at the wicked man’s words. His stomach dropped, hoping he did not mean who he thought. The Emperor only laughed his menacing laugh, “You have too much of your grandfather’s heart in you, I knew love would be your undoing just as it was his.” Ben gulped, he could feel Rey’s eyes on him as well. Had Palpatine forced Athena and him together? Was they’re love all a dark lie? Something he conspired to turn him? Ben felt sick, he could not stomach the thought. First the Emperor had killed her parents to draw them together and then he made them fall in love? Was any of his life his? An evil cackle tore him away from his spiraling thoughts, “You are naive boy, you two were already destined I only gave it a push. You two were created to be the great balance of the Force, but when your darkness rose and the girl shut herself out, the Force had to find its balance.” Ben’s eyes drifted over to Rey’s, his equal because of Athena shutting the Force out. “It only makes sense young Skywalker. The great-niece of the Jedi Master who found the prophesied Chosen One, and you the grandson of the Chosen one, fall in love. It’s quite poetic actually. It’s a shame I wanted her to die here too, but it seems the First Order is unreliable in finding an asset for their Supreme Leader.” The Emperor teased and Ben tightened his grip on the saber, done with his jesting. The reason there was a bounty on Athena’s head from the First Order coming to light, of course Darth Sidious had been behind it, just like everything else. Temporary relief flooded him though, at the consolation that no evil had binded Athena and him together, but it faded as he thought of that same evil seeking her out to kill her. Now all he needed to do was to fulfill his destiny. The two advanced forward before lightning emitted from the Emperor’s fingers sending them both down to the ground. Rey and Ben writhed in pain from the lightning, his thoughts immediately going to Athena. He feared he would never see her again, never get to apologize and confess how much he loved her. He feared that he would die here and the Emperor would find and kill her. This was how the Skywalker story would end along with the whole galaxy. His eyes drifted over seeing Rey convulsing in pain too, trying to fight against the Emperor. He wanted to close his eyes, he could not fight against the draining pain anymore, but something illuminated by the lightning caught his attention. Just beyond their bodies stood the Force Ghost of Luke Skywalker, his grandfather, and a white-haired old man. “Confronting fear is the destiny of a Jedi. Your destiny.” Luke encouraged him and the two other men nodded. “Your journey nears its end.” The Emperor cackled, unaware of the three men standing to the side. Ben felt a wave of energy, power, encompass him. Generations of Jedi now coursing through him. Gritting his teeth he pushed himself up onto his trembling legs, his movement shocking Palpatine, his assault stopping on them both. “No!” Ben’s voice boomed across the dark throne room. The Sith Lord only snickered and snapped his fingers back outwards, lightning pouring from them once again. Only this time Ben caught it, his hands absorbing the energy Palpatine bestowed upon him unwillingly. The Emperor halted immediately, eyes wide in fear. “I’m a Jedi like my grandfather before me and I will finish what he started!” With that Ben released the lightning, Palpatine letting out a shriek of pain. Ben continued on only relinquishing once Palpatine perished into nothing once and for all.

He stumbled back, gasping for air, his hands still tingling. He looked to his side seeing the three smiling Force Ghosts fade away, destiny fulfilled.  _ “Something wonderful has happened.”  _ He heard his grandfather’s voice whisper before they were truly gone from sight. Once they were gone, Ben helped a weak Rey stand up. He wanted to apologize for everything, for all the fighting he had caused, but instead the two shared a soft smile. “Let’s go home.” 

Ben climbed out of his ship, the warmth of the jungle planet enclosing around him as he watched Resistance members run and embrace each other. The whole Resistance and galaxy celebrating the defeat of the First Order, most not even aware of the battle that occured against Darth Sidious. Stars, he did not even know that the Resistance had taken down the First Order during their confrontation with the Sith Lord. Rey climbed out of her ship and quickly hug the former Stormtrooper, Finn as he called himself now, along with the pilot Poe. Both of the men’s eyes flickered over to his looming presence nervously. Kylo Ren returned from the Dark? It was an impossible thought supposedly. Turning from them, his brown eyes scanned the crowd, searching for the one thing that could make him forget all the horrors. He was nervous would she even speak to him? He begged the Force she would. “She’s not here.” A familiar voice called up to him. Ben broke away from his search of the crowds to the short woman who stood below him. Tears had gathered in her brown eyes and he felt his eyes well up with tears as well. “Ben.” She whispered, unsure. He knew she could sense the Light in him, but she was afraid to get her hopes up. “Mom.” He croaked, collapsing down into her arms. Leia attempted to wrap her arms around his wide torso as they both cried into each other. He was always so consumed by his hatred for his father and uncle or his longing for Athena, he often disregarded his mother, the woman he loved most. They stayed locked in each other’s arms for awhile, ignorant to the observing eyes and celebrating heroes. It was only then that the meaning of her first words dawned on him. Ben pulled back abruptly, “What do you mean she’s not here?” His mother sighed heavily; Rey, Finn, and Poe approaching in the background, melancholy expressions on each of their faces. “She’s gone Ben.” His heart plummeted. Gone? Surely she did not mean gone, gone? No he would have felt her leave the world, Rey would have told him, gave something away. “Where did she g-go?” He risked, uncertain he was ready for the answer. She was not dead, no he refused to believe it. “I don’t know. One morning we all woke to find her quarters empty and her X-Wing gone. No note, no nothing.” His mother explained, the three Resistance members hesitantly nodding along. A weight lifted from his shoulders, she was alive just not here. “When was this?” The leather of his gloves creaked not from anger but anxiety. Was she okay? Was she safe? “A month after she got back.’ Rey answered, sharing a careful look with Leia. Ben’s eyes widened in fear, “That was five months ago!” His mother nodded, a glimmer hidden in her eyes as she placed a gentle hand to his upper arm. “Ben relax, she’s safe.” “So you say.” Poe mumbled under his breath, but Ben still caught it. He shot the pilot a glare, but he only looked like a scared boy, eyes wide with tears. “It’s her Dameron!” Leia interjected, squeezing Ben’s arm in the process. He furrowed his eyebrows turning back to his mother. “What’s her?” Leia smiled softly, “Come, I have something to show you.” 

The group stalked through the command center, the celebrating eyes turning to Ben. His black attired made him stick out like a sore thumb. He did not care, their confusion and fearful thoughts bared him no discomfort, he needed to find Athena. “Connix! Pull up the FMN 1219 files please!” His mother shouted and a young woman with dirty blonde hair stopped her chattering and proceeded to gather the files on a nearby datapad. Ben watched as the young woman handed the datapad to his mother, Connix looking familiar for some odd reason. He could place it. “Once a month we receive encoded messages using the Resistance code.” His mother informed him, squinting down at the screen in her hands. “How do you know they are from her?” Leia let out a short laugh, handing him the datapad. “They only ever say one thing…” The datapad displayed five decoded messages, one for every month she had been away. She was right, it was only one word sent every single time, Lele. Ben let out a quiet chuckle it was her, she was okay. Leia smiled up at him, enjoying the sound of the laugh she missed so much. Over the past decade she had only been graced with his screeching by Tie Fighter. “Where is she?” Ben questioned, looking to his mother expectantly. The woman winced slightly, “That is a mystery. The messages don’t transmit coordinates, only the transponding datapad she’s been using to send them.” “Okay so message her, ask her where she is!” Ben instructed pushing the datapad into his mother’s hands. She only fought against him, shoving it back into him. “I did Ben, a few weeks ago. I was planning on visiting her, but to prevent anyone from intercepting the message,” She meant him, the First Order, “She sent me a riddle. One I haven’t been able to solve.” He exhaled loudly at that, why would he assume she would make it easy to find her? He wished she would reconnect to the Force, then maybe he could connect with her, and find her that way. But that was a hopeless thought, she still thought he was Dark. Leia’s nimble fingers swiped the screen to reveal a separate decoded message. “ P10to9raph.” Ben assessed the word and numbers, pulling the latter from the word. 10 and 9, Photograph. 

_ Ben ran through the meadows surrounded by glistening waterfalls, glad to finally be free of the stuffy delegate chambers his mom had dragged the family to. “Ben!” He heard a soft voice laugh out behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to see the small braids of Athena flopping around as she chased after him. He let out a chuckle, choosing to tease her instead of slowing down. “Keep up Athena!” He heard her let out a huff and her feet pick up, until he heard the sound of something tumbling. Halting immediately, Ben turned to see her lying face down in the grass. His stomach flipped afraid she was hurt. Running back he dropped down into the grass beside her, his mother shouting to see if she was alright. His hands shakily reached out to roll her onto her back, nervous about what he would see. The first thing he saw was her white teeth as she wore a sheepish grin. Ben let out a sigh of relief, he could fathom the thought if something happened to her because of him. “I fell.” Athena giggled out and he could only laugh in return, glad she was okay. “So clumsy!” Ben chastised, pulling her back up to her feet. “Kid’s come here, Han take a photo of us!” Ben and Athena groaned looking to his parents sitting on a blanket just above on a hill. “Coming Mom!” “Coming Lele!” Athena smiled briefly before she pushed him and raced back towards Leia. Ben only smirked chasing after her, his best friend. _

“We don’t know what she means.” Rey informed, both her and Leia observing the screen intently. Ben smiled down at the datapad, it was as if she had written the puzzle just for him. “But I do.” 

His heavy boot tapped impatiently against the floor of the Millenium Falcon, his father’s ship. When was the last time he had been on here?

_ Ben sat at the round table, head hanging down watching the ground, as his troubling thoughts plagued him. His clammy hand clasped tightly inside Athena’s, both seeking comfort. He could sense her excitement her joy of the occasion, the last thing he wanted to do was bring her down, but he needed to confess. “They’re only sending us away because of me.” He mumbled, his black curls falling in front of his eyes. It was an accident, he had gotten upset one night, he never meant to break the table. “No they want us to become Jedi, to master the ways of the Force!” She corrected him, her bright smile that usually could make him feel better, only seemed to deepen his frown. There was a side to him, a dark voice that seemed to beckon him closer, taunting him with unjust things. He tried to fight it but it only seemed to grow louder the older he got. He was fearful of himself and so was his loved ones. “N-No… my p-parents are scared, scared of m-me, of this part hidden in me.” He kept his head down as he felt his eyes water. The smaller hand holding his squeezed tightly beckoning to look up at her. Athena’s held a look of certainty, strength, and determination. He felt the voice diminish inside at the sight of her. “Well I’m not Ben.” He sat up quickly and pulled her into a hug, feeling relief. She was not afraid of him so maybe he did not need to be afraid of himself either.  _

It had been so long, so much changing beside the ship. It still looked as rundown as when dad used to take Athena and him flying. Just the thought of her had the nerves jolting alive underneath his skin, every hair standing on edge. Would she even see him? Would she forgive him? He had let her down so many times, it was disheartening. Even if she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, something he would painfully accept, he still needed to express how sorry he was. He would walk away if it's what she wanted. He wondered if she was happy, if she had forgotten him and moved on with life? A part of himself did not want to intrude on that contentedness, but he needed to see her, making sure she was alright. And if she would take him back, he would never let her go again. Ben still could not process the fact that she left. It was unlike her to abandon anything or anyone especially her beliefs or cause. There had to be more to the story, things his mother and Rey did not know. He let out a loud sigh, fisting his dirty black hair wishing he could sense her in the Force for the second time today, just something to ease his conscience. 

“You know I don’t feel her either.” A soft voice spoke. Ben picked his head off the wall to find Rey standing in front of him. Leia, Poe, and Finn were walking up the ramp behind her. He had been unaware of the new company on the ship. Poe gave him a glare as he moved past them to the main hold, Finn and his mother following. Ben could sense the immense blame the pilot put on him. He was right, he had been the cause of many problems, especially the worry for Athena embedded in everyone, despite her messages. Rey still had her eyes locked on him, an empathetic smile on her face. “She cut herself off.” He answered with a simple shrug. Athena had cut herself off from the Force to hide from him, to sever the connection they had been repairing. Rey exhaled deeply, “Yes, but it’s as if the Force is guarding her.” Ben furrowed his eyebrows at the correlation. It was possible… It would explain why he never realized she was alive, why he never saw premonitions of her alive, or why he never saw her inside Poe’s mind. “Um,” Rey cleared her throat gaining his attention once again, “Chewie is still resting in the med bay so I could use a co-pilot?” Ben’s eyes widened, staying silent, and Rey took that as a bad thing. “Poe could do it if you don’t want to, but I just figured you’d like to and since you know where she is.” She squabbled, fidgeting in place. He sense her unease, surely not use to having a conversation with him without their lightsabers ignited. Ben smiled slightly at her rambling, “Sure.” Rey nodded not attempting to hide the large smile that appeared on her face. “Okay great I’ll be right there.” He offered her a half nod and awkwardly roamed down the hall towards the cockpit.

Rey let out a relieved sigh and turned to find Leia exiting the main hold. The woman seemed obviously cheerier; the war was just about over, diplomatic solutions and the official statement of surrender from the First Order the only thing that remained, her son had returned from the darkness, and now they were on their way to find her surrogate daughter, who turned into her daughter in law. Rey still was a little dumbfounded by the fact Athena and Ben were married, she almost did not believe Poe when he told her about the rings he saw on their fingers. “Why did you lie to him? You told me you saw Athena just before she left.” Rey whispered. Leia only smiled, “He can’t know the truth Rey, not yet. He must see it for himself.” Rey was confused, “It?” Leia only put a finger to her lips and walked away, still smiling to herself. She decided to dismiss it for the time being, knowing the truth would be revealed shortly, and walked down the hall to the cockpit. Inside the small room, Ben sat in the pilot seat, his gloves and cape removed and placed messily onto the seat behind him. His hands hovered over the control wheel as if he was afraid to touch it. He seemed to be deep in thought and Rey had a sneaking suspicion as to why. “Are you okay?” Her question startled him right out of the seat, his head hitting the low ceiling. He turned to face her, his face bright red like a child caught doing something they were not supposed to be. “Um, I can move-” Rey cut him off gently pushing him back down into the seat. His eyes were wary, his body stiff in the seat. “Relax Ben,” She urged sitting down in the co-pilot seat, “Where to?” Ben let out a deep breath, his ungloved right hand gently caressing the curve of the control wheel. He was quiet, sinking into the comfort of the chair, burying the regret he felt bubbling over in his chest. “Set course for the Chommel sector in the Mid-Rim.” He stated, confidence edging its way back into his tone. Rey saw it then and there, glancing over at him, the son of Han Solo. “Right away Captain.” She teased punching in the coordinates.

Landing on the upper hill in a clearing, Ben was quick on his feet. He ran past the group exiting the main hold and out of the ship before the ramp had even touched the plush grass. The bright sun shining up above welcomed him with a kiss of a warm summer breeze. To his right was a white and orange X-Wing with vast green vines, shrubs, and weeds growing all over it. She was here, he was right. Without a second thought, he took off down the hill towards the towering villa just beyond. Leia and the three watched him all wearing smiles, “Give him a minute.” Ben booked down onto the cobblestone and was entranced by the spectacular Varykino. It looked just as it did the last time he was here.

_ Ben fidgeted nervously with the collar of his black tunic, trying to avoid the prying eyes of the Minister. He did not dare turn around either, he could face his mother’s tears of happiness. He loved the woman dearly but a part of him wished they could have done this secretly. Something the two of them could share, no one else intruding on the intimate moment. But the thought dissipated as he heard the soft chimes in the surrounding trees, feeling a pure aura behind him. He was quick to turn, his breath stolen, and heart stopping immediately. Athena’s glowing figure walked towards him, her white lace dress caressing the cobblestone as if it was kissing it’s long lost lover. Her smile was transfixing along with the rosy blush to her cheeks and sparkle in her eyes. He was so utterly in love with her it physically hurt. And soon she would be his wife, his for eternity just as it was meant to be. The vows he had memorized proved to be true, his entire universe resided in her.  _

Ben rushed into the house, finding no one on the lower level. Taking two stairs at a time, he found himself on the third floor, his heart racing desperate to find her. He stood at the top of the stairs for a moment, contemplating which way to go when he felt a gentle breeze run through his hair, originating to his right. Entering the one bedroom, he found the large wooden door leading to the balcony open. His heart seized in his chest as he quietly stepped forward, his fear of how this would go surfacing once again. Silently he exited back outside onto the large open balcony, finding a sight that made his throat tighten. Beneath the three large archways, pressed against the hand carved stone railing, was Athena. Her back was to him as she watched the blue of the sky merge with the blue of the water, her turquoise dress almost blending in with the scenery. The love of his life completely unaware of him behind her. His lips were sealed as he stepped closer, drinking in her presence, and the odd feeling that enclosed around her. It was almost unnoticeable, barely a trace of it in the Force, the Force most definitely shielding her. His lips parted, trying to conjure up what to say. He had told himself that if she never wanted to see him again he would obey her wish, but now standing this close to her, he could not fathom ever leaving her again. “Athena.” His voice was very audible, but he knew she heard him. Her stature seemed to stiffen, her head slowly turning to the side to pear back at him. Her eyes held a look of fear as she stared back at him, her hands roughly clinging to the stone keeping her body turned away from him. 

Athena looked to his brown eyes, finding every ounce of regret the galaxy had to offer being held within them. He stepped closer, tears cascading down his dirty cheeks. He was filthy, looking to have been to hell and back. “I’m so sorry.” He cried out taking another step closer. Her eyebrows pinched together, reading the difference in him. This was not the Kylo she had left six months ago, no this was someone else, someone who she loved dearly. “Ben?” Her voice shook as he let out a sob of relief at the sound of her. He nodded rapidly, his curls bouncing with him. “Yes it’s Ben. Your Ben.” Athena was still hesitant, gripping the stone till the pads of her fingertips turned white. She needed to be sure this was her Ben and not the Supreme Leader of the First Order. Her blue eyes fluttered shut, willing herself to reconnect to the Force. She knew Ben could feel the surge of energy and life that emitted from her and in return she could feel the Light flourishing inside of him. Her eyes sprung open filled with tears, a soft cry escaping from her lips. Her hands slid off the stone and she slowly turned to face him, her heart racing. “Ben.”

She turned to face him, uttering his name with her sweet voice. Her smile was hesitant though, her eyes gauging him for some sort of reaction. His eyes drifted down the flowy turquoise fabric of her dress, gold details intertwined into as well, his eyes stopping in shock. He could not seem to form a single word, his eyes trying to blink away the heavy onset of tears that streamed down his face. A large bump protruded from Athena’s abdomen, the dress beautifully covering it. He eyed her carefully, closing the distance, his ungloved hands hesitantly reaching outwards. His fingers delicately caressed the large curve of her stomach, resting it in the middle, a watery laugh echoing out from his lips. He could feel the life surging out from beneath her skin, the life calling out to him. He could feel Athena and himself blended so perfectly, he could only cry more. “That’s why you left.” Ben whispered, eyes flickering back up to hers. Athena nodded, her hand resting on top of his. “I wanted you to know, I did, but-” Ben cut her off, pressing one finger to her lips. “I understand, I do. I love you so much and I will spend the rest of my life making it all up to you.” He promised her, cupping her face gently. His eyes pleadingly looked down at her, hoping she would let him do that, let him be a loving father and husband. “I know Spaceboy, I know.” Ben laughed and so did she, before he pulled her into a long-awaited kiss. Ben now could never leave her, nor did he ever want to. This was his universe now. Ben pulled back abruptly, his longer fingers dipping down the front of his black tunic, that only felt so constraining now. He pulled out a black necklace, two rings tied tightly to the end of it. Athena sniffled at the sight, she was never far from his heart, despite it all. Ben quickly untied to the two rings and slid the silver band onto her awaiting finger, doing the same with his. The two were quick to pull each other back into a kiss, their tears mixing together as they melted together once and for all, the awaiting life secured between them and their everlasting love. 

  
  



	15. Across the Stars

Warm sunlight streamed in through the large open balcony door waking the woman with blue eyes from her slumber. She hummed out softly stretching her arms over her head, shifting in the bed to face the sleeping man beside her. His black curls were splayed out across the pale blue pillow as soft spurts of air escaped his parted lips. His face was calm, his aura emitting pure serenity despite the faded scar that trailed down the right side of his face and into his exposed shoulder. His bare chest rose and fell rhythmically, the sun streaking across his soft skin. Athena smiled to herself, endless amounts of love pouring out from within her as a delicate hand ran through his wild hair. She pushed the hair from his eyes unaware that her gentle touch had awoken her husband. “Good Morning my Love.” Ben’s raspy voice mumbled out, startling her. Of course he was awake, he had always been such a light sleeper. “Good Morning.” Athena leaned over pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. In return he gave her a lazy smile, his eyes still hooded with sleep. “How much longer do we have?” He whispered. She smirked a little, eyeing the closed door. They were silent for a minute, listening to the faint sounds coming from outside the bedroom walls. A part of her was surprised to not wake up to a stowaway lodged in between Ben and her. “I’m afraid only a few minutes, tops.” Ben let out a low groan, shifting further into the comforts of the bed, his long arms hooking around her waist, and pulling her into him. Athena placed her hands against his bare chest, fingers faintly skimming across the skin of his collarbones, and closed her eyes as well, both enjoying their fleeting moments of tranquility. 

The sound of the blast door shooting open not long after, had Athena's eyes flickering open. In front of her, Ben’s eyes remained close but his lips stretched into an undeniably large grin, signaling he was still awake. The piddle paddle of feet echoed across the stone floor, drawing closer to the bed positioned on the far wall. She closed her eyes feigning sleep alongside Ben as small grunts were heard, the sheets being tugged on correspondingly. A sudden dip in the mattress alerted them to the new presence that had joined them in the comfort of their bed. A small hand was placed gently on Athena’s upper arm, the hand attempting to shake her out of her slumber, the same thing happening to Ben. “Mamma Papa, it’s time to wake up.” Two sweet voices chirped causing Athena and Ben to open their eyes and smile at each other. The two shifted to look up at the grinning children, their sweet loves. A girl with black ringlets and honey brown eyes hovered above Ben, her beauty marks prominent on the apples of her smiling cheeks. A boy with wavy brown hair and piercing blue eyes hovered above Athena, his face adorned in many tiny freckles. Twins, of course, although they looked more like their opposite sex parent than each other. “Is it daylight already?” Athena pretending to be shocked, pulled her little boy down into her arms. Her sweet Maverick only giggled into her chest as his sister Rowena was hugged tightly by Ben. 

Ben secured his whole family in his arms contently. Never in a billion years did he believe he would end up here. Perhaps back in his padawan days he could have envisioned it, but eleven years in the First Order under the icy and angry mantra of Kylo Ren had diminished any belief of it. He had spent those years mourning the loss of the love of his life, who had been alive and under his nose the whole time. The Force protecting her until it was time for Ben Solo to rise. He had always been conflicted but she had been the final piece to unravel him whole. Ben looked over at Athena, who lovingly embraced their children, softly humming the sweet melody of an old lullaby, one Leia used to sing to them in their youth. Everyday for the past six years he was afraid to wake and find it had all been a dream, that none of it was real. Too many times, far more than he liked to admit, Athena would press loving kisses to his face, drawing declarations of love onto his exposed skin, and remind him of everything. They were real, the First Order was gone, the Emperor dead, and they were safe. He knew it was true, but deep down he felt as if he would never lose that irrational fear in himself, but it only made him appreciate every moment more. He had never been happier and everyday his little family helped him grow away from the horrors of his past. He even believed one day he could forget it all. Surely with a sight like this, it was hard to remember what his previous life had entailed beyond these walls. 

“My Lights, what would you like to do today?” Ben asked looking down to the three beauties in his arms. Maverick’s head popped up from Athena’s chest, eyes wide as he pleaded, “Can we go swimming?” Athena nodded, her left hand raking through the boy’s messy locks, the silver band on her ring finger sparkling in the sunlight. “Yes Mave, we can.” The boy grinned, he loved being in the water, a plus to living in an isolated villa surrounded by water. Rowena groaned propping a little elbow up on Ben’s chest and resting her head in her tiny hand, her pale green nightgown bunched up to her knees. “I’m hungry, can we eat first?” Ben chuckled, he had met his match in his daughter, the little girl filled to the brim with retorts and mischievousness. It almost made him send his mother a hologram to apologize for how difficult he had been in his youth. Him and Athena had gotten into plenty of trouble over the years before going to the Jedi temple. Although they had gotten into plenty of other trouble there too. “Of course.” Rowena gasped an idea sparkling in her big eyes as she turned to look at her father, “Papa can you make Strawberry Strudel?” Maverick perked up again at that his little fingers fidgeting with the purple kyber crystal around his mother’s neck, “Oh yes! Please Papa can you?” Athena bit back a laugh turning to her husband, feigning innocence. The twins were a lot like their mother, which he was quite thankful for, but there were many parts of his children that reminded Ben of himself… A perfect blend. “Only if you two help.” He bargained and the two children nodded eagerly. “I get to break the eggs!” Rowena claimed sliding out of bed, rushing out the door. “Hey, no fair!” Maverick shouted chasing after his sister. Athena and Ben laughed, kissing each other before getting out of bed, “Let’s go before they destroy the kitchen.” 

Rowena and Maverick raced down the docks, hand in hand, heading towards the glistening blue water of Naboo. “You two be careful!” Athena shouted from underneath the shade of a close by Cherry Blossom tree, her back pressed firmly against Ben’s. A large splash shot up in the air, signifying the children’s descent into the refreshing water. Ben’s hearty laugh vibrated through her back as the two settled in watching their twins. In a thousand years, Athena never thought she would end up here. In her padawan days, she had thought of what her future with Ben would entail, but the idea vanished the moment she woke up on Hosnian with no memory. She had spent eleven years with no real sense of identity, the only thing she had was the Resistance. It was only when she found Ben again, under the most unpleasant circumstances, that she started to feel connected to the missing part of herself again. Yes there had been immense heartache along the way, but they had won. They had overcome the obstacles tearing them apart and the universe had rewarded them with two of the greatest gifts. And every night when they would lie in bed after an endless day of happiness, Athena would remind her love of how much of an amazing and loving father and husband he was. Ben had lived up to his promise, but the validation would chip away a piece of his harsh past and she would kiss the newly exposed part of him each time. They had finally achieved their destiny and now she could sink into the galaxy with her family, happily.

“My mother sent a hologram.” Ben spoke up, his chin resting on her shoulder, arms secured around her frame, eyes to the lake. Athena hummed in response, urging him to continue as she smoothed out the skirt of her mauve dress. “She plans on visiting soon.” After the war and the official resignation, Leia had returned to politics making sure democracy was done correct this time, the galaxy did not need another Empire or First Order. But the woman made sure to visit her grandchildren as much as possible, she never wanted them to feel abandoned as Ben had. “That would be nice, Euora has been asking when she would be coming. Is Rey going to accompany her?” Ben simply shrugged, unsure. “Well tell Lele, that Row and Mave would like to see their Aunt.” Rey had become close with the family as well, the kids viewing her as their long lost Aunt, but she was often off world training the new generation of Jedi, with the seemingly odd help of Finn and Poe… The three had become inseparable after the war. She had begged for Ben and Athena to join her, but the two were quite content sitting under the Naboo sun with their children. Besides they had their own Force users to teach. 

“Maverick Anakin Solo and Rowena Padme Solo, you two put those poor little frogs down!” Athena scolded eyeing the two frogs levitating above the water. The two children giggled and dropped the frogs, issuing out apologies. She bit her lip watching as the two mischievous Solo’s returned to swimming. She could feel the tense state of Ben behind her and without even seeing his face she knew his brows were knitted together in thought. “What?” Athena asked tearing her gaze away from the water to look up her husband. He sighed, never tearing his gaze away from his salvations. “Do you think Mave will ever be upset we named him after my grandfather?” His voice was barely above a whisper, but nonetheless Athena heard him. She was not surprised by his concern, in fact she was more surprised this was the first time he had voiced it. She watched as Maverick splashed around with Rowena, big smiles on each of their little round faces, unaware of their lineage. Before they had even been born, Ben and Athena had discussed how they would not hide the truth from their children. They would tell them of their true lineage, born from both sides of the Force. And only if they wanted to be, then they would train them in the ways of the Force, but they had no pressure to do so. For once in a lifetime, the Skywalker family had free reign over their lives. “He may be confused as to why one day, but we will tell him the truth.” “And that is?” Ben questioned. “To remind him, them both, that there is a balance, that Light resides in everyone, and darkness can be redeemed.” Calloused fingertips grabbed ahold of her chin, turning her to look back and up at Ben. He wore a soft smile, she always knew what to say to pull him from his worrisome thoughts. He leaned down and captured her in a passionate kiss, their everlasting love sealed within. “Ew, they’re kissing again!” Rowena’s voice shouted in disgust. Maverick groaned in unison and Athena and Ben could only laugh, pulling apart. She nuzzled her nose into his, before resting her head on his shoulder, their eyes falling back to their giggling babies. 

Athena could feel it, the other presences in the Force. Luke, her Great-Uncle, Ben’s Grandparents, and even Han and her parents. She was positive if she looked to her sides she would see them, their great past, but instead she only focused on her future. Ben’s hand clasped hers tightly as they continued to watch the children until their skin began to prune from the water and the clouds turned into a soft shade of lilac. And as the sun began to set, filling them with peace and love, they drifted into their happily ever after in a galaxy far far away. 

  
  



End file.
